I'm trying to work harder on letting people know by reading my text what kind of feedback I'm looking for. This is part of the reason my posts are so long (sorry)! When posting on other's threads, those verbal cues are really helpful to me. Sometimes we all need a bit of encouragement, and sometimes we'll grow by leaps and bounds with a little challenge! I'm also influenced by how well I "know" a poster -- in style and personality -- and by how much time I have to ponder. It's all good!

Everyone seemed okay if I wear pants.

I guess we're all used to seeing a certain look on others?

What a great post and responses! Of course feedback is tempered by the poster's attitude and whether this is a k/r or a "my favorite outfit" post. That is just how conversations work. I know I have posted outfits where I have been surprised by the feedback - I don't mean offended, just surprised that outfit x was more popular than outfit y. I love when that happens because I learn so much. But I do find that the way I frame my post has a big effect on how much constructive criticism I receive. Thanks for starting this thread Susie!

Good thread!

I am big on reading the person's post carefully to find out what she is looking for. If someone doesn't specify whether she is looking for blunt comments, affirmation, or whatever, I assume that I should just speak my mind (though courteously). If it were me posting, I would want honesty. I think that honesty is necessary to help us move forward with our style.

I always try to give reasons for what I say when I critique. I think this might help the situation that CocoLion was talking about, when someone tries new trends where figure flattery is given up to an extent. If I don't like the fact that the outfit is not figure flattering (and this would probably be my reaction, because that's just how I am), I would say something like, "Would more waist definition look better?" or "The top looks too boxy to me." That way the person knows that I am honing in on the figure-flattery issue and can dismiss my comment if she has already decided that she is OK with a less traditional silhouette.

I don't know people well enough on the forum yet to say whether an outfit is "them" or not, so I just view every outfit from my own perspective and experience, which is all anyone can do. I remember the thread Shannon posted, which you mentioned, Susie, and I was concerned about how that thread was going because if I recall right Shannon clearly stated that she was trying something new. But the responses were very heavily in the camp that the new look wasn't "her." And that is where I think we need to be careful--if the person states that she is trying a new look, then I think we need to look at the outfit with new eyes as well and critique the outfit on its own merits.

I try to be honest in all my responses. I do read what the poster says first and consider what level of honesty I should respond with. ie sometimes I sense people want genuine constructive feedback and sometimes they don't... and that's ok.

With respect to moving forward and developing our style, there are two things I find lots of fun with respect to fashion. One is wearing things that I feel are totally my style and make me feel good and look good and the second is stepping out of my comfort zone, playing with proportions and trying something different and we need to be open and supportive of that for each other:) And I think for the most part we are.

I thought Janet looked great in her skirt but when I went back looking for her post I could not find it.
Anyway, people do resist change in themselves and in others. I think because most of you are forum members for a long time, you know each other better and were more tuned in to Janet's facial expression. I did not see that initially.
The way you feel in an outfit, to me, is what completes the look. If you are not happy with it, it will not work for you.
If someone wears an outfit that to most looks totally off, but if the person feels fabulous in it that will show through and then maybe her outfit will look avant-garde...
I think it's a good idea to wear different types of garments, not just pants (which I prefer) but also skirts and dresses. This way no one will be surprised (including yourself) by a totally different look and then feel uncomfortable about it.
My uncle used to say that the clothes do not make you look nice, it is you who makes the clothes look nice, of course within measure. I think he was right.