OT:Do you make your kids save their clothes for best?

WE have heard so many times on this forum of people who are influenced by their mothers saying they had to save their good clothes. This is usually portrayed as a bad thing, leading to habits of not wearing the nice things in their wardrobe enough.

I am just wondering if those you you who are parents do the same to your kids. I do!!

My general rule is that any nice dress that was given this year, and anything white, isn't worn around the house. My younger girls have plenty of older dresses I let them wear. The reason for this is that home activities like climbing trees, making mud pies and cooking had really stain their clothes. There is a reasonable chance of staining happening anyway at parties and church but much higher if I let them wear them at home. And white tops are so handy to have available to go with bottoms that are otherwise orphans because there is no matching top, or to wear under sundresses in summer or pinafore type dresses in winter. So I try to get them to save them for these situations when they are going out.

Hopefully they won't develop complexes about them?

Oh and how is this for pressure? One lady who loves giving our girls lovely clothes said her hope was that I was keeping them after they grew out of them for my grandchildren. I have kept a few, but frankly try to get as much wear out of them as I can, so most aren't fit for keeping after dd #3!

14 years ago

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

The only thing I am saving for a special occasion is the Indian gown we received as a gift. I'm only doing this because it is silk and encrusted with jewels and sequins. My daughter is 3 and I know it would be destroyed in minutes if I let her play in it. Other than that it's anything goes as long as it is weather appropriate. She is my only daughter. I want to let her enjoy the clothes now, not save them to hand down to someone else in brand new condition. She loves to pick out something "from the closet" because she knows all the hanging clothes are fancy and special. It's a fun ritual for us.

kellygirl

When they were younger, I used to worry about them ruining their clothes. Now, I encourage them to wear everything. I don't want them to be like me--"saving" their good clothes. It's a hard habit to break!

Fruitful

I'm sorry Anne, but that lady may be well meaning but she does not understand reality.

If she gives you/your girls clothes, they are no longer hers, and it is not her place to expect you to save them as heirlooms. I would go mental if I had to turn my place into a children's clothing museum.

On the point of your question, I save one or two "good" outfits for a while, because if I didn't they would invariably get stained with the first "everyday" wearing and I'd have to buy another outfit when we had an occasion to attend.

On the other hand, when they've worn them looking new to things a few times, I relax and let them get normal wear out of them.

It's not so much a question of wanting to keep all the nice things perfect; it's more the dim hope of having one decent thing to wear when the occasion requires it.

By "saving" clothes for the first few wears being special occasion only, then demoting them to everyday, I think I get the best of both approaches.

anne

Fruitful you are spot on. And that is in fact my approach to the lady's gifts. ( I haven't actually told her though - I just murmered something about how I have saved a couple in my archives box)

And your point
"It's not so much a question of wanting to keep all the nice things perfect; it's more the dim hope of having one decent thing to wear when the occasion requires it."

Ie EXACTLY the situation!!!!
Some neighbouring children play in their back garden in (at times) all sort of finery, and yet I have seen them at church in old stained trakky pants and t shirts (not that I think it matters what you wear to church, but I would prefer my children dressed in the reverse).

Do those of you who let your children wear anything have something for an occasion when they need to look decent?

Kellygirl - I have found it is better with my older girl - she is not so hard on clothes. The younger ones don't only stain them but wet them pretty often - so their clothes get washed a lot as well.

Another factor is that I am only speaking of not wearing things around the house. They have uniforms for school (and I let them wear them around the house -they are very practical hard wearing outfits). They can wear their good outfits at least once a week - more if we get invited out, they have a party etc.

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

I struggle with this too!

Ness was given some lovely handmade clothes when she was born. Everything she wore except for two 50 year old dresses given to her by her great-grandmother (she is the first girl born into that side of the familly for 50 years) and also two dresses that had been hand smocked. One she wore to a fancy-pants garden party this summer. The other she hasn't worn.

My attitude to other clothes is that she wears them and if they get stained then they go in the napisan! Actually, white is better for this, as it can be bleeched!

I do think that children do need to learn that it is important to dress up for some occasions, but this shouldn't be at the expense of having clothes that are worn once or twice before they are grown out of. Tricky balancing act!

Refugee

I think your approach on this is very reasonable. I believe it is a question of age appropriateness. Younger children are harder on clothes. Whether it is that they stain them or just outright destroy them (as a child I was very busy and my mother was pleased if I could wear a pair of paints more than once without shredding the knees out of them). With my younger children, yes I kept at least one outfit for good. I never had the budget to just replace good clothes if they ruined them. I had a hard enough time keeping up with them outgrowing everything. As they got older, were more responsible and thoughtful (and their growth started slowing down) I let them continually make more decisions about what to wear when. It sounds like you are doing the same thing.

Freckles

I think it's easier with sons as a rule and my sporty easy going one had capsules when he was young. He was free to choose anything from said capsule for an occassion. He usually had to be prodded into the dress up clothes...

At 20 he still has capsules and sometimes asks for my advice even though he says I tend to err on the side of being slightly overdressed and never underdressed.

As for the gift giver and wanting things to be kept for grandchildren...hiss. When you give a gift it is for the giver to decide how to use it and enjoy it... What happened to the idea of buying something for someone to enjoy. I'd much rather a gift be used and worn out than sit on a shelf somewhere never being used!

Aziraphale

I don't make my kids save their good clothes, but if there is going to be anything particularly messy going on, like painting or eating spaghetti, I'll try to make sure they're wearing something that I won't care if it gets stained.

When my kids were very small, I used to whip off their shirts at the table, so they didn't ruin their clothes! My friends all though this was very funny, but I could never get bibs to work. The food would end up all over their sleeves, or get under the bib. My daughter never ate with a shirt on until she was about three.

ironkurtin

I must be in the minority, but I let my daughter wear whatever she wants so long as it's weather-appropriate. I love to see how she combines things. I think she has more natural joy in dressing than I've had in years!

Hwever, she is an only child with many nice thngs and is naturally fairly tidy. If she destroyed more stuff I'd probably be stricter.

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