OT: Would you trade your best feature for something else? - YouLookFab Forum

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OT: Would you trade your best feature for something else?

Aziraphale

Veteran

I've just been reading through all the interesting responses to the post about feeling naked without makeup, and it got me thinking about what I would trade for absolutely flawless skin. I think good, healthy-looking skin is at the heart of beauty, in my mind at least.

I'm talking about physical characteristics here, not what's on the inside. I wouldn't trade any of my actual abilities or talents for perfect skin. But I have thick, shiny, lovely hair, and I'd trade it in for perfect skin in a heartbeat.

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21 replies

Latest reply was from taylor

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I dunno if I'd trade my best feature for something else ... I like my smile But I dunno, I'd like to be able to trade something else for a less scarred forehead. I guess that's what Harry Potter must feel like!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

chucking @ Lyn. I am living to see the last Harry Potter that opened up last Friday. Hermione Granger is one of my heros.

I do not have flawless or perfect anything. My body is covered in imperfections! I will not trade anything in though because I feel that that thinking is bad for my soul. We have to be at peace with our imperfect selves. So my dear Elisabeth, no disrespect to you at all, but I personally feel (others may of course disagree), that even thinking about this question has a negative effect on my psyche. I deal with women who have body issues all day long, who wish that they had x-this and y-that. I do not reinforce their thinking at all. We have to move on, find solutions and get on with it

I love the sound of your beautiful thick curly hair Elisabeth! You are a lucky lass!

Aziraphale

Veteran

I'm sorry, Angie -- I totally see your point. My intention was not to encourage negative body image! I should have thought it through.

I don't lay awake at night worrying about my skin (or any other physical attribute, really). It was just Sal's post about makeup that got me thinking about makeup, and gee, how nice it would be to feel like I had gorgeous skin without it!

I saw Harry Potter last night, btw. Fantastic. Go as soon as you can! (and while we're on the topic of flawless skin and Emma Watson....my word! She's grown into a lovely young woman. I hear she's smart, too).

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Emma Watson ... she's an interesting girl. I think most people would be able to do better in life/school without financial woes

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

No worries, Elisabeth! I totally understand your thinking here and am much relieved that you don't lie awake at night wishing that you had flawless skin :). It's a slippery slope wishing for something when we often cannot change who and what we are. So while your own thought processes are healthy, others may start to wallow. It's that part that frightens me because I know what a devastating effect this can have on certain women on a bad day. Hope that makes sense!

We plan to see the last Harry Potter this week! Good to know that it did not disappoint. Emma Watson is too fabulous for words. I hear you

Aziraphale

Veteran

Angie, it makes complete sense. I'm right there with you. I worked through 99% of my negative body issues many years ago (remember, I was an anorexic teenager) so I guess sometimes I forget how wishful thinking can spiral down to body-hating.

I apologize again!

Di

(website)

Veteran

I'd love flawless skin, too. *sigh*

Having said that, I'm really not sure I'd be able to pinpoint something as my best feature. I feel OK about how I look, but if I try to think about a "best," I end up with a lot of, "but on the other hand." Some people think my figure is good, but I often feel self-conscious about it. My mom likes my eyes, but I think hazel's kinda boring. I have a huge smile-- but I also have kinda crooked teeth.

Maybe this is why style matters to me-- my features are going to be perceived differently by everyone, so it's nice to have an area of my appearance where I can consciously and intentionally project something.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You are a sweet thing, Elisabeth :). Don't worry that pretty little head anymore. I remember that you were anorexic. You are strong and fabulous to have overcome the disease. My hat off to you for working through your negative body issues.

Di, I like what you said about style.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

One of my best features are my legs, but my stomach is a bit squishy. I remember once I had a young patient with much chunkier legs but a perfectly flat stomach. I see a HUGE variety of body types working in healthcare. I don't think I'd trade my legs for a flat stomach. I can dress to minimize my stomach.
Besides variety is what makes life interesting. I remember a few years ago some one broke down supermodels and showed how their features weren't perfectly symmetrical (facial). Nobody is perfect. Quirks are more interesting.

Maya

Veteran

No, definitely not. It has taken me a long time to live with my imperfections. I'm sure if I traded in my leg length for a more defined waist (which is something I have wished for in the past), then I'd just complain about my legs. Grass is always greener, right?

Aziraphale

Veteran

Annagybe -- it's true. Variety is the spice of life (to trot out a well-worn cliche). But I'm not asking to be perfect, and I've learned the hard way that it does not pay to dwell on unattainable wishes. Plus, I've had experiences that showed me that how I look matters little when it comes to how attractive I actually am. That may not make sense but I'll do a post about it at some point. One of those experiences in particular was a revelation.

BUT if I could choose ONE "perfect" feature, it would be skin!

MsMary

Veteran

I wouldn't trade my best feature (my legs, maybe?) for anything else.

But I will say I was very happy to have been able to trade a big pile of money (and a moderate amount of discomfort) to solve my weight problem, and another big pile of money (and a bigger amount of discomfort - yowch!) to get rid of the turkey neck and eye bags! I never thought I'd turn into That Woman, but I am a fan of Modern Beauty Science! LOL

Aziraphale

Veteran

MaryK, I was going to ask you about that. I'll probably never have plastic surgery because (a) I'm a big baby -- I panicked last year at the idea of having a mole removed from my eyelid, and in the end it was TWO DAMN STITCHES -- and (b) my husband would freak right out. He's totally against it. I'm not, but I think it should be treated with caution, because we all know how addictive it can be, and who wants to end up like Kenny Rogers?

So hats off to you for going through with it! I'm sure the results will be well worth the pain. Keep us posted! You're the first person I've talked to who's actually had the facial nip and tuck. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts once the healing is done.

I knew a girl who had a nose job, and it definitely changed her life for the better. Her confidence soared.

MsMary

Veteran

I swear, elisabeth, I can't imagine going through multiple procedures! Srsly, it is NO JOKE. I mean, REALLY no joke. I had 85% of my stomach removed last March, and that was totally a walk in the park compared to having my FACE sliced and diced. Yikes. Not to mention the mental aspect of the moon-faced stranger in the mirror. Double yikes.

I was telling my friend that based on the available physical evidence, it seems like they took my face OFF and then sewed it back on, only tighter! I'm lucky I didn't end up with Nicolas Cage's or John Travolta's face! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119094/

Aziraphale

Veteran

HAHAHAHA you're so funny, MaryK. I sure hope they didn't take off the whole face! Now I'm going to have nightmares of psychotic masked surgeons chasing me around the house with a face-shaped chunk of skin.

Di

(website)

Veteran

"How I look matters little when it comes to how attractive I actually am."

I couldn't possible agree more. Right on.

catgirl

Veteran

I'll chime in here for the breast reduction. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself in my life. After having my son I got so big I couldn't run comfortably or do anything beach-related without feeling self-conscious. Insurance covered it completely, since I was not even a pound overweight. The cosmetic benefits were wonderful too, but the ability to RUN again - priceless.

ETA: Sorry, didn't address your question but the plastic surgery issue. I don't even know what my best feature is. I guess thinking about this question, like the one about trading years of your life for a perfect body, just leads me down a path I'd rather not tread, KWIM?

Aziraphale

Veteran

Yes, Una, as Angie pointed out, this is a question I probably shouldn't have asked. She's right. Dwelling on what will never be does us no good (whether it's our bodies or anything else that is truly unattainable). I was just laughing at myself because I never leave the house without my under-nose concealer on, which I posted about, and then I got to thinking about how much I'd love to have perfect skin...sigh....and it reminded me of this conversation that my mom and I have had for about twenty five years, which goes like this:

Mom: "Oh, you have such lovely, thick, wavy hair. If I can't have it for myself, I'm so happy my daughter has it."

Me: "Mom, you've never had a zit in your life. You've got barely any wrinkles and you're XX years old. Want to trade? My hair for your skin. Done."

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Aside to MaryK, my best friend is a general surgeon and just this weekend described to me the procedure that would alleviate my jowl concerns. It is INTENSE. I think i'll hold off a while. You are a brave lady!

Of course there are things about my appearance I wish were different. However, I've played that mental game with myself before, and no, I wouldn't trade away what I have for what someone else has. It's all going to fade with age anyway, so I'd better make peace with what I have -- the so-called negatives as well as the assets!

MsMary

Veteran

Honestly, Janet, I didn't do all that much investigation into what the surgery actually entailed before I signed on the dotted line. I knew I wanted it, I knew I could handle whatever it was, and I didn't really feel the need to be super-educated about just how gruesome it was going to be. But yeah... I figured that if they could remove 85% of my stomach in 40 minutes, and they were going to spend FOUR HOURS cutting and stitching on my face, it was going to be a pretty big deal. Which it, uh, was. LOL

taylor

Veteran

Hang in there Mary. Most of my clients have said "Glad I did it...wouldn't want to do it again" The worst is over...soon you will look FAB!!