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OT: would you move to a different state to get more financial stabilit

Victoria

(website)

Veteran

I have been fairly happy living in Hawaii but for one thing-no career opportunities, low pay and high cost of living. DH and I have talked before about moving to another state but until now there was no opportunities for him. However, his company just posted several openings in several different states(it would be for the exact same position he is in right now). He told me they are looking for someone in Orlando, Las Vegas, Dallas and San Diego. He is very apprehensive to move away from here because he never lived anywhere else(I have lived in MN, NV and CA, and HI of course) and it means he would be leaving everything and everyone he knows behind. However, the benefits for us, would be not struggling from living from paycheck to paycheck and we could actually afford to buy, instead of rent, especially if we were to live in Nevada or TX. DH works for large national corporation so he has a career but in my case, ever since I came to HI it has been at standstill. Mostly because most jobs don't even pay enough to survive on(unless you are top executive) and you end up working for very small businesses who usually can't even afford to pay you more and not much in terms of any career opportunities. I have never been happy with it but the older I get the more I wonder if that's all I will ever be getting if I stay in Hawaii?
I guess my question is-would you consider moving to a different state if the benefits were mostly financial?

General

27 replies

Latest reply was from lyn*

rae

(website)

Veteran

My DH and I talked about this same thing recently. Our issue is more my job satisfaction since he works from home a lot now. If I was able to get a position I loved and that provided health insurance, we'd be ready to go. However, we are total homebodies and don't necessarily have that many friends, plus our families are already spread out across the country.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Yes, I have and I would.

Research the CoL in these cities. I hear real estate is painfully expensive in SD, by the way. And take weather into account as well - Orlando is super humid, for example.

biscuitsmom

Veteran

I had the opportunity years ago to move from Mn to Ohio for a *much* higher paying job and seriously considered it, but giving up being near my family and BF (now DH) was just not worth it for me. Never regretted it.... but if you are seriously unhappy, I would do it. Life is too short for important 'what if's' and feeling stuck. Good luck!

jayne

Veteran

yes. But then I moved halfway around the world to live in Norway. But it wasn't financial, it was romance. But I still know that I was the adventurous type and wanted to see more of the world than Ohio. The step away may be pretty permanent also. You have moved but your hubby hasn't and it is very true the saying 'you can never go home'. Oh you can move back but you won't be the same people that left when you return. All moves should be done with eyes open and pick the next place based on your likes in your freetime. If I would move to US, colorodo would the obvious choice for my current lifestyle. Hope it works out!

HelenInCanada

Veteran

I'd definitely look into it if you are very unhappy. It's ironic how many people DREAM of living in Hawaii - but the reality apparently isn't a bowl of cherries. Do some research on possible job opportunities for you in each of those states. Also - livability, climate, culture. Possibly pay a visit to each potential city with DH if you can...? I do understand DH's hesitating because of family/familiarity. Perfectly natural. It's important to have a support network if you can get it. Good luck -and try to keep us posted!

@Jayne - I'd just assumed you were Norweigan - and I was REALLY impressed with your English. LOL! You ARE adventurous - kudos on picking a great country (thanks to your love life)!

Sylvie

Veteran

Yes, assuming quality of life is equal in both places.

It really depends on your preferences re: culture, climate, proximity to family, cost of living.

I think most of us would choose a "better" location with lower pay and frugal lifestyle instead of a "poorer" location with higher pay and higher-end lifestyle.

My career is incompatible with my "dream" location so I am living in my "less than ideal but still very nice" location. The sort of career that would let me live in the "dream" location wouldn't let me have enough time to enjoy it, so I get a better overall quality of life in my current location.

In your situation, if moving to a different location would let both of you have careers, this stranger on the internet thinks it's a good idea. It's one thing to voluntarily leave the workforce, it's another thing to not have the potential to join the workforce if you want to.

Anonymous

My DH and I have moved several times for that very reason, so yes I would. It all started when my DH finished college (got his PhD) and there were no jobs available in his field anywhere in the U.S. We moved to Central America and lived there for 8 years before finally finding a job in the States. After moving to TX in 1998, we moved to NM in 2003 and then to GA in 2008. Each time was for better pay and for better educational opportunities for our children. We also considered cost of living and quality of life in general. The only thing I really don't like about GA is the lack of style. We're in the middle of farm country, and the clothing styles loudly and clearly reflect that.

Victoria

(website)

Veteran

Helen: I think the reason why so many people dream of living in HI is because its so gorgeous here and the weather is great. And if that's all you want, then this is a good place. However, there are very limited job opportunities, and living here is so expensive is crazy(although I am sure NY is worse) and as a matter of fact, half of the couples I know live with their parents for that exact reason. After a while all that takes a toll and you stop caring about scenary and want something better out of life.
I actually read an article recently in a local magazine that talked about same topic-what is good and bad in HI and why some people move here and love it and why some locals can't wait to get the hell out. they profiles several people and all these stories had same thing in common. People live here if they have families and they want to be close to them and they like the weather and relaxed lifestyle. The end.

MsMary

Veteran

I would definitely consider it.

I would caution you about California, though. I'm a third-generation Californian and I am here to tell you the Golden State is not what it once was. The cost of living is hellishly high, including very high state income and sales taxes. And the state government is in a severe fiscal crisis. The economy does not look to improve for quite some time so if you have other options I'd suggest exploring them ahead of California, all other things being equal.

Victoria

(website)

Veteran

thanks, Mary. I actually told DH that CA is out of question because I don't think we are going to be better off there due to very high unemployemnt rate and real estate prices so to me places worth considering would be TX and FL

Kristine

Veteran

Yes, I would and I have in the past, but there are a lot of factors to consider.

I would move if it was truly a case of financial stability (you're struggling to make ends meet or can't save for retirement, etc.). But so much depends on how you both feel about moving. Owning a house won't mean much if he's miserable in it. So the tradeoff of not knowing anyone and spending money to travel back to Hawaii frequently might not be worth more income. But if your husband can really embrace the idea and you can both see it as an adventure, then probably.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

The only thing that concerns me is that almost everyone I known that were from Hawaii wanted to move back there.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Victoria, for WIW, I find living in Austin to be very reasonable. It has gotten a bit more expensive than it was 4 years ago, but that's the same all over. I am not sure about Dallas, but so far Texas has not been hellish, at least not in Austin.

Anonymous

So many factors to consider -- if you start a family, will you miss having relatives close by? If you have aging relatives, do you need to stay close to help care for them? Moving to a new place could put a lot of stress on a marriage. On the other hand, it could be a wonderful new beginning!

Victoria

(website)

Veteran

Alicat: actually we are not planning on having kids(because I have too many health problems) and his parents are in good health and are very independent so that part is not an issue but I know what you mean about stress on the marriage. I have moved before with my ex husband and it was tough but he had different mindset from DH.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

As we moved half the world away - from Europe to Canada - I say resounding YES. We never regretted it! Of course we miss our friend sand relatives but we got new friends here and I brought my parents to live In Canada as well. It is a big step but it is totally worth it if you plan it right.

rae

(website)

Veteran

My mother is originally from HI and although she could move back easily and live with our family there, she says it would not be the same now that she's gone mainland and gotten used to the variety and price of items/food/entertainment.

Victoria

(website)

Veteran

Rae: I think its precisely why(because I lived on mainland US most of my life), I can't get used to the prices of everything in HI. Take price of any item on the mainland and double or triple it, that's what pricing here is like:(

DonnaF

Veteran

It sounds like you are on board for a move, but that DH needs to feel it. If it is a national company, it sounds as though a move would not necessarily have to be *forever*, even if it would most likely be forever out of Hawai'i for your working life. Any chance that a promotional opportunity would open up in the foreseeable future? Or would a lateral move to the mainland make DH a more appealing or visible candidate for a promotion?

I know a number of ex-Hawaiians left the Islands for the opportunities on the mainland. They left for college or grad/professional school, so I think the culture shock and adjustment was probably easier. Your DH may find a bit of a HI network in many places.

Victoria

(website)

Veteran

Donna: yes, he is hesitant and its because he lived here all his life.Its possible that there would be opportunities later but you just never know with these things. this is actually something that we were talking about for months but he is still uncertain even though he agrees with me about lack of opportunities here

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

Most certainly IF my hobby/sport life would not be negatively affected. We moved to Idaho to give things a go there - it looked like we were going to have a great financial opportunity so we went for it. Didn't pan out, plus I was VERY unhappy with the state of my hobby, so we moved back to WA. That said, I would consider moving back if the incentives were great enough (and I could afford to travel more as a result).

Meredith1953

Veteran

This is such a tough decision and it is good that you continue to talk and make this decision together. My first husband and I were born and bred in CA and moved to Seattle right after we married. It was a wonderful adventure for both of and and we had to really rely on each other. We did ultimately divorce 17 years later due to other issues but I still look back on that time as very special. My DH (second husband) is also from CA and has lived in Montana and now in Boise which is where we met. Not trying to hijack this conversation but this could be good for BOTH of you. Not just you and your opportunities but also for him and you both as a couple.

Deborah

Veteran

Victoria, 18 months ago my family (DH & Master 9) moved 2 hours away from Melbourne where I have lived all my life. We now live in a busy regional centre and have no plans (at this time) to return to the 'city'.

Admittedly we are only 2.5 hours away from my family and our friends but it has been a major change for us (particularly me as I am quite a relational person) as I can no longer drop in at my girlfriends for a coffee, plan impromptu meals out etc.

We moved mainly for two reasons. One was that my husband's mum and dad live here and need support (dad passed away 5 months after we moved) and the other was financial and the desire for a lifestyle change.

We were able to sell our home in Melbourne at a time with then market was down and still make a very nice profit from it. We were able to pay out our mortgage and ALL our other debts. We moved to our new location DEBT FREE. We bought a newly built house, a little bigger than our home in Melbourne for just over half of what we sold our original home for. We have a much smaller mortgage and a much freer lifestyle. We are essentially both community workers (DH is a pastor), so while we are reasonably paid we are not highly paid people, and we both work part time with DH slowly building up a sound engineering business from a home.

Was it worth it? I would have to say yes. I miss my friends very much, but I still talk to my best friends daily by phone. We email and have very regular contact. And I visit on weekends when I can and we do seem to have a steady stream of visitors in our new home. We were able to afford our first overseas holiday last year too. We have become involved in our new local community, made new friends and enjoy the lifestyle here SO much.

So, I guess this is a very long winded response and I hope you don't mind me sharing all these details, but I would say YES as it could turn out to be the best thing you have every done. And when we were considering our move, we considered the worst case scenario being if it didn't work and we weren't happy... we could always return 'home'.

Wishing you well and you worth through this together Victoria.

Victoria

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Veteran

Thank you, Deborah, your post is very inspiring!

christieanne

Veteran

Yes and Yes.
I am like MaryK though - a third generation Californian that would say choose elsewhere right now. San Diego is about the best place in SoCal in my NorCal opinion but too expensive in real estate.
Colorado is on my radar as potential place for my family to move. We had that opportunity in 1997 but I wanted to come back to Cali to be near family. I would move again in a second except that my parents and great aunt are here and approaching their 80's - I feel like we should be here when they will need us and kids can spend time with them.
You have to do what is right for your family (meaning you and DH) and look at the big picture of long term - 20 years from now do you want to own a house or have a Hawaii lifestyle?
Lots to consider I know so best wishes to you.

CK

We have moved several times for my husband's career, so my short answer is yes, you should probably consider it. However, make sure you research the places you are thinking of very well, visit them, etc. Some of our moves have been very good, but the last time, we moved again within a year because we disliked it so much. Make sure your husband is completely on-board, too, since he has never lived anywhere else. Ironically, I recently returned from a vacation to your state, and how I wish I lived there.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I am free like the wind in terms of my family and personal life right now - I'm moving provinces for better job prospects, so i guess it would definitely be a -yes- for me!

I think that if a significant other was involved though, a visit to the new region for at least a week would be a good idea - so everyone would like it