OT When Fashion Gets you into Trouble

It's no secret that I have strong opinions- about fashion as well as other things. This tends to get me into trouble, but this is ridiculous. Last week, one of the mom's in my homeschool group wore leggings as pants to the park. I wasn't going to say anything, but the subject of leggings came up, and I couldn't hold my tongue. I said that leggings are not pants, and they shouldn't be confused. She admitted that her 13 year old son has a problem with her wearing them that way, but as long as her shirt covers her butt she thinks it is ok. Now, our sons are the same age and good friends. If my son was legitimately embarrassed by something that I was wearing- enough to tell me I would put some serious thought into that. That was the end of that- or so I thought.
This week at the park, there were a couple of mom's wearing leggings as pants. I did notice and thought it a little odd since that is not the norm there. Well, towards the end of the day I heard a snippet from one of the other mom's. They were talking about things that had been posted on Facebook (where I do not have an account and most of the group does and they know this). What I heard was "The thing about the leggings was true....." and then she saw me looking at her and covered her mouth with a folder and leaned over to the person that she was talking to so that I couldn't hear. Now, this person that was talking is a huge gossip and also very snarky, so I'm trying not to let it bother me. But seriously- they are talking about a comment that I made on their Facebooks, and then hiding it from me?? Am I wrong to feel a bit weirded out about this?

16 years ago

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Oh Khris, I'm sending you a hug, that's awful.

Their behaviour belongs in the playground. Leggings as pants is something they will live to regret and when they cringe at their photos I hope they remember your wise words!

Queen Mum

how old are these women? 13?
good grief! I guess you have a choice.. either let it go or if your feelings are hurt and these are good enough friends to want to keep this from building a wedge between you, then you can be honest with them and let them know that you are hurt.

I willl say this... one thing I have learned in the past 20 years of having conversations regarding anything that stems from personal conviction (like discipline, media, nutrition/dietary stuff, working vs stay at home, homeschooling, and I guess fashion LOL) is to be very careful how I word my statements.... "I find it more comfortable to wear leggings as an accessory rather than pants, otherwise I feel too exposed". A statement like that might have left her mulling it over and coming to her own conclustions rather than feeling like you were judging her-- which is probably what she took it as and reacted out of defensiveness.

Ele

(website)

Active Member

Wow. My first thought on reading this was (and this is a really depressing sentiment), "I guess high school never really ends".

So sorry, Khris. Hold your head high and forget about them- at least you aren't wearing leggings as pants!

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

I'm with Ele, grown-ups should know better!

But I know that I would probably feel upset and weird as well, but I don't think you should take it to heart. The reason that she has taken offence is probably because she knows you (and her son!) are right.

rae

Oh dear! I for one am kind of glad that these women are excluding you -- I mean, who needs that kind of cattiness surrounding them all the time? If they can't handle a little honesty and constructive criticism, then they are the ones who will have to deal with the consequences (i.e. being an embarrassment to their kids).

Also, I think it's a GREAT thing to speak up about leggings as pants, even if you risk a negative reaction! I don't need to see anyone's booty crack, thank you -- not even through a thin layer of spandex!

I like queenie's suggestion, too... maybe something like, "it makes me uncomfortable that my son can see so much of your body."

Theresa

Oh my goodness... its like they were forming a silly high school clique and proving a point...

I think I'd personally see what happens - if next time everyone is back to dressing normally, I'd let it go and just know that at least you look awesome and aren't embarrassing your kids or yourself.

If they keep it up though, and the conversations keep up I really like Queenie's suggestion. But, if nothing more is said and they continue to wear them, then I'd probably just let it go too - they are the ones looking ridiculous.

Far Out, I've seen plenty of kids wearing them as pants, but never fully grown adult women - and to prove a point *shakes head*. (And I live in a regional town that is full of cowboys/cowgirls where the normal rules of decency seem to be bent... and they don't even do it!)

taylor

Khris,
I find this kind of female behaviour stems from jealousy...yes, these women must be very envious of your wardrobe and how well you are put together. You are impeccible and have a knack putting outfits together.
BEWARE the thinner you get the uglier women will be to you!!. Hold your head high and don't let them hurt you because we love the stylish fabulous Khris:)

Maya

Ugh, who has time for this drama?

Khris, I would just think of it this way: In their pathetic attempt to taunt you, they are actually making you look MUCH better by leaving their houses without actual pants! oh the irony.

Generally I do not bother advising friends about how they dress unless they ask, otherwise I would probably lose a lot of friends. But when it comes to leggings-as-pants, that's not a style issue, it's a decency issue!

Angie

Fashion Stylist

That's a shame, Khris. Hugs!

I have no words for this childish behaviour.

Kristine

Friends don't friends wear leggings as pants. You did the right thing.

chewyspaghetti

I decided to email both the leggings as pants lady, and the talker. I'm glad that I did, and I immediately felt better. I already got a response from the talker, and she was apologetic, so that also helped. I was actually really surprised by her reply.
The funny thing is that the leggings as pants lady is the *only* other woman that I know locally who is interested in fashion at all. She is gorgeous and very thin and usually has really good taste. I think that's why it bothers me to see her wear something like that. I expect it from the rest of the slobs around here, but I know that she can do so much better! She's actually a good friend, so I apologized to her if I had hurt her feelings, and I told her how I felt, too. I haven't gotten a response yet, but I feel better knowing that the ball is in her court.

Oh and Taylor- that is a really interesting point. I'm all new to that, but I can see that you're probably right.

Debora

Khris, nobody likes to be gossiped about and these women sound so childish! I'm so sorry that this came back to bite you, especially since we know that you were well-intentioned. At least you can rest assured that your picture will never show up in a "what not to wear" magazine article. Can't be so sure about the woman without pants! One other thing, I agree with some of the others that this type of behavior usually stems from jealousy and insecurity. Hold your head high because you are fab!

good job Khris- glad you took the initiative to make amends. I think all of us as women (at lease I'll speak for myself) have the potential to be caddy and hurtful at times and when confronted, hopefully have the maturity to make amends and move on.

julijuli

I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I'm glad you called out this woman on her behavior!

JuliaInGermany

It's actually quite funny when you think of it: They are deliberately dressing like slobs to give you a hard time? How stupid is that?

I'm sorry that they are talking about you, but it seems you'll get that sorted out. Good for you to have written them E-Mails.

Anonymous

It amazes me what some people will put on FB. The whole world can see it and if they are acting bratty it doesn't look good.
I am very glad you are getting it worked out so that you don't hold onto hurt feelings though. You did a good thing to bring it up and try to work it out.

elpgal

Khris, Good on you to solve this problem like a reasonable adult. I hope you hear from your friend soon and are able to move forward. And it is totally their loss if they can't take sound advice.

Louise

Well at least you can have a good laugh at how silly they all looked in their leggings as pants x

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