My thoughts are going to echo a lot of other people's:

If someone only posts their own threads but never responds to other people's I'm less likely to respond in theirs.

If someone typically responds to my threads, I'm more likely to seek out and respond to threads by that person.

I try to thank people who respond to my threads/push the appropriate appreciation buttons. I'm usually the last poster on threads I start. If someone posts after the thread chatter has mostly died down, I tend to just use the buttons and not post due to the fear of bumping the thread.

I agree that so long as you're making an effort to give back and maintain some sort of give/take ratio, then that's what matters.

In online life, as in real life, people are going to judge you by your behavior. If you're a veteran and have given a lot of advice in the past and suddenly have a flurry of threads, people are going to be gracious. If you were always asking for help and never tried to help others, even after being a member for several months, people will take that into account.

The time difference is an issue for me. I think I might be the most westerly forum member. Yesterday I posted, got a couple of responses and wrote my thankyous, thinking the conversation was finished.
Now I see I have more responses and I'm caught in that whole" I don't want to bump a new post off first page" scenario.
And I really wanted, today, to methodically work through each new post, meaning I won't get to mine until heaven knows when.
So I think it's best if I quickly say my new thankyous to my old post and then bump myself down the page.

I respond on my threads to people individually when I can because I like to acknowledge them and comment on their thoughts. That's conversation, no? It actually never occurred to me that this could be considered hogging the front page by bumping. It doesn't seem inconsiderate to me. I used to respond with group thank yous, maybe that is better etiquette? But I noticed some members like Kari and Aida who would leave thoughtful acknowledgements and thought it was really nice. My $0.02 on that point.

And I have no problem with post and run. Even if someone hasn't participated much (I'm not talking about you RandJ) and has initiated more conversations and commented on others' threads less or not at all, I tend to think, maybe that person doesn't feel confident enough to comment.

Well I'm guilty of not being on here as much as I used to be. I may have had some posts here and there that I just completely forgot to press the appreciation buttons. I always appreciate any comments I get and I try to comment on others when I have time. I have to admit that lately I've lurked more than I have been commenting. As others have said, real life comes first.

I adore this community and I'm glad that there always seems to be an influx of active commenters at any given time. I'm constantly learning from all you fabulous fashionistas whether I'm lurking or actively participating.

Julie you are the last person who should be worrying about this. You have always been so selfless, warm and helpful on this forum. You have always told us the reasons when you had to have a break, and excellent ones they were too! we cherish even the small chances that you have to write in to us

As for my own feelings, I feel like a post and run girl too, and try to balance any frenzy of my own posts with a lot of time inbetween. I don't read every post by any means these days (I did when the forum began) and spend way too much time THINKING about the posts instead of actually writing down my response. In fact I have decided to try to respond to posts straight away instead of reading them all and thinking I'll come back later to respond.

I'm a newbie here, so just thought I'd chime in to say that I sometimes don't comment on others posts simply because I have no confidence in my ability to determine what is stylish or not. I mean... I know what I *think* looks good. But I am pretty much a mess with my own style, so what I like may or may not be what actually is stylish.

Did that babble make sense?

That said, I am more likely to comment in other types of threads (i.e. When do you iron?) simply because I'm more comfortable in that area.

I am astounded by the responses to this thread, thank you so much for your considered thoughts and yes I am now fully aware of
a) how it has taken me 24hrs to get back to a thread that posted
b) I am now shamelessly bumping the thread to the front page in order to thank you all properly.

I guess I will try and moderate my urge to post conversations Every. Time. I. Stop. By. and also be considerate of why other members are unable to respond.

Bionda, I do agree with Angie, part timers and one time posters do enrich the diversity of the community, Pease post away.

Love this place

*air kiss*

Being someone who is a several times a day lurker, a comment when I can, hardly ever poster I wanted to throw in my $0.02 worth on this. Like lots of you I wish I could spend more time here and contribute more. I have a different perspective in that I feel I should post more. I feel that those of you who do post are doing all of the 'heavy lifting' on the forum. The time it takes to set up photos, take them, get them to the computer from the camera just so I can admire and learn from you guys is admirable. By simply commenting and not posting and asking for your input, I feel that i am doing a lot more taking than giving. Also, by not having the time to post photos, etc I worry that people might wonder 'well who does she think she is? Offering all her comments but never letting us see what .she is wearing or asking for our input.' Maybe I'm just weird with this point of view.

Gosh--I don't think I'm that deep when it comes to posters--you answer when and if you can---what ever your time or style is--no sweat. I NEVER even thought of most of what is listed here!!
I reply when I can, if I have the words, if it's not a blatant repeat of others (I wish I had different words/ terms to use) and if I thought I was making sense ( I have deleted tons of stuff coz of this) and for fear of misunderstanding and making a dumb reply.
Personally--I usually post fluff and feel like I've poisoned myself for replies and am backing down again but I love reading and seeing peoples efforts and evolutions. I do feel like I am educating my eye.

I do love this place. I echo some of the comments made. I was wondering about this too. Great topic, RandJ. I love that this is an inclusive place and that there are no *rules* about this sort of thing. I know that I too am able to spend more and less time, depending on my schedule. Sometimes I don't comment on others' posts because I am not confident in my knowledge and don't want to give inappropriate feedback. And I really enjoy that people can pop in and out based on their availability. It seems like the other *ill-willed* stuff is weeded out, but maybe I just haven't been much exposed...

Great topic. I love YLF but because of time restraints due to work, I usually post outfits in the evening. Occasionlly I'll pop in during the day if I'm not busy and will reply to posts if I have time. I don't consider myself to be a professional fashionista by any means but if someone posts a beautiful outfit and it looks fabulous on them, I will say something. Otherwise, I tend to keep mum unless they were asking for advice on how to wear an item. (I'd like to think that people have their own ideas of fashion and what I fancy might not be someone elses cup of tea.)

This has been a very interesting and informative post for me to read. I am always humbled by how many responses I get from my posts, being that I don't participate in other conversations much.

I'm a bit ashamed, really. You all have been so fabulous to me, and for me, and I see so many awesome outfits and beautiful women, that I really should reach out to them (you) and let you know how impressed I am with your style, instead of just thinking it. My excuse is that I don't feel I can offer advice in fashion, but that's just an excuse.

Your comments have so positively affected me, and I don't know why I haven't felt the need, until now, to give back. It is in my nature in my personal life to make others feel good about themselves, but for some reason I haven't shared that with you all. I have just been a taker.

Thanks again for this conversation, you really have given me pause.

RoseandJoan, this has been a fascinating discussion.

I think we as women are a bit too worried about pulling our weight or taking up too much space.

I'm a little concerned that people are worried about boardhogging? If people didn't post, there wouldn't be a board! Post away!

If a post gets bumped down so it's not seen, there's nothing wrong with bumping it up! Sometimes I do this for myself, sometimes for other people.

I don't care if you bump your post just through thanking people. It is a forum, it will get bumped down again

Secondhand, we'd love to see you post but I have never gone through your profile to realise you don't do the "heavy lifting"! Don't feel guilty. Just post if you'd like to.

I love that there are frequent posters like AlaskaGirl, my only frustration is I'm not able to participate in the conversations as much as I'd like!

There is only one forum etiquette thing I would like to see addressed on this forum. It is PLEASE USE DESCRIPTIVE SUBJECT TITLES. Sorry for shouting. If I see a forum thread with a title like "Help!" or "I've lost my mind" or "what was i thinking" it tells me nothing at all, nothing at. all. about whether it will be a reasonable use of my time to click on the thread and read it.

I usually don't open these threads unless I notice nobody is replying to them, then I feel sorry for them. If they're by a member I "know" and like, I may indulge them :). But overall, if I click a "help" and it asks where to buy X when they live nowhere near me, etc etc insert any topic I know nothing about, I have wasted time, when forum time is limited enough as it is. So I don't.

The irony is, I think these vague titles are the result of female politeness striking once again. People might feel it's rude to state upfront what they're going to talk about. Please understand, it's (unintentionally) rude not to.

Fruitful, I completely agree about the titles. On a similar note, I'm more likely to read threads that make it clear that they're asking for advice, and skip ones that are simple WIW and the date.

I also assume that there is a lot more reading happening than posting. I can spend a good half hour pouring over threads and not post anything because I don't have anything new to add. And other times I spend a half hour writing a book of a post. And some days I can't find the time to come on YLF at all. It's a natural ebb and flow, and as long as someone posts on occasion I assume that they're reading a lot more than what they're commenting on, and thus are still participating in the community even if they don't post.

I sometimes do feel like I shouldn't be posting WIW or questions because I haven't been very active at the time. Sometimes I have time to read YLF, sometimes I don't. I might only have time to read the blogs on some weeks, other weeks I have time to read loads of posts. Wether I reply to posts depends on a) did I have time to read the posts in the first place b) do I feel I have someting to contribute and c) do I feel confident I am using the right language - English is a 2nd language and at times I feel I don't have enough vocabulary to say things in a kind and thoughtful way. Especially when I have the feeling that this particular clothes or this specific combination is not my favourite for someone. But I do try to invest in other peoples threads when I have time to post my own outfits or questions.
So thank you for asking, from the answer I think I am doing all right

I second what Kate said (esp about which threads she chooses to look at)

I guess I never really thought about this before. I know I have asked for advice, and many of you have taken your time to give it to me. I have never given advice , and I'm not sure that I will as I don't have a lot of confidence in that advice! However, I certainly can find other ways to participate such as complimenting all of you on your fab outfits, and I am going to make an effort to do that!

Fruitful, I guess I'm guilty of not adding descriptive titles all the time. I'll try to change that!

I always try to respond to conversations I started in a timely manner, but I'm not always successful. I don't have a problem with bumping threads to the first page and thank people later on, I think this is just the way the forum works. And I agree with Kate, I assume many people read way more than they comment. It's the same for me! I try to keep up to date, but I don't have the time to comment on everything, especially because English is my 2nd language and I have to look many words up when I write a longer post and not just a short comment on an outfit post.

Regarding *my* comment about not always wanting to bump a thread back to the front page. I'm not suggesting that this is "hogging" at all. And I don't find it rude. Usually I just feel that my thread has had plenty of time on the front page, I've gotten the feedback I'm looking for, and so I don't necessarily want to bump it back up for another day or so. Honestly, often it's a K/R post that I realize later I should have known the answer myself, so quietly let it die so I can regain my dignity... LOL

I am amazed at those who faithfully acknowledge each comment by name, and specific words of thanks. When I try to do this, I feel that I'm just droning the same words out over and over... I guess I don't have the gift of words So, while I have read every comment and *try* my hardest to remember to click the appreciation buttons, I usually offer a blanket, "thanks for the input" unless someone has asked a specific question or given a specific unique compliment (like specifically complimenting my hair, shoes, whatever...) if that makes sense....

Everyone has a different approach to how they handle theirs and others threads, and nobody's method is anymore right than anyone else's. Comment on those you want to, and ignore those you wish to ignore. It's all good. Bump if you want, let it die if that is your preference. Variety is the spice of life!

What a fascinating conversation! I had wondered about some of these questions but it never occurred to me to ask about them. I read far more posts than I actually comment on. I'm not a shopper (and there's no Nordstroms in my state) so while I'm curious where people bought stuff and what they're looking for, I can't really respond to their posts. Also, I enjoy viewing WIW posts but if there's already 25 responses and I don't have anything original to add, I don't comment. I always assume there are others like me who don't have time to comment on every post, even though I read quite a few of them.