OT-To cheat or not to cheat

Carole

I love my hairdresser. She is like a good girlfriend. But I'm not that crazy about my hair cuts lately, and would give anything to try something new, fun and stylish. I've tried to communicate what I'm looking for but always end up with the same look. To try a new stylist would feel like I'm "cheating". Have you ever felt that way? How did you handle it?

15 years ago

General

12 replies

Latest reply was from taylor

Debora

Veteran

Ha ha! Never mind cheating, as sweet as he is, I think I'm ready to divorce my hairdresser right now! Seriously, he is also very resistant to change.

15 years ago

Stacey D

Active Member

That's hard! The gal who cuts my hair has become a friend and our daughters go to school together, in the same grade, so we have a lot in common. I see her often outside of the hair salon, so it would be very awkward to see her after someone else had cut it.

If you don't think you'd run into her outside the salon, I'd go ahead and try someone knew.

Have you tried, right after she cuts it to tell her it wasn't what you were looking for?

It's a hard situation, for sure!

15 years ago

Srujana

Veteran

Carole, for the first time in my life I'm "going steady" with a hairdresser...we've been together for about 3 years. I've never had that before! She's awesome and imaginative and spunky in her own style and yet listens and follows my relatively boring requests to the letter (I won't allow her to dye or perm or cut massive amounts off or give me an edgier style)...and she listens and commiserates on my life.
With all that said, she moved to another salon that's across the street from her old place, but now her price has gone up by $10. That may not seem like a lot, but with hair my length, haircuts are pretty expensive. That $10 used to be her tip, and now I'm wondering if I should just suck it up and go in every six months rather than every three months...or try to find someone new.
In your shoes, I'd say try someone else out...because when it comes down to it, you're paying her for the style you want, not to be your friend. Then, when you have the look you want, debate on whether its worth it to go back to her and ask her to maintain it, or stay with the new hairdresser.

15 years ago

Maya

Veteran

My mom used to see this darling woman from Afghanistan and they would bond over their mostly shared culture practices and love of Bollywood movies. It got to a point where she would give my mom discounts on products and serves.

The problem? She did a horrible job. I only went to her once but she butchered my hair. Her way of cutting layers involved pulling a squared off section of hair upwards, holding it in one hand, and snipping off 4" straight across with the other. I was too traumatized to add layers to my hair again for another 5 years. Even my dad, who hasn't changed his hair in probably 25 years and doesn't even have that much hair left, didn't think she did a good job. But my mom kept going to her, because she felt they were friends.

Long story short, I finally managed to dragged her off to just TRY someone new, and she hasn't been back in years.

Stylists are not friends. This is their job and they need to stay within their professional boundaries. It's great to be friendly and put your clients at ease, but I don't like it when my stylists take it too far. It's weird to me, like being best buddies with your gynecologist. No thanks…

15 years ago

Anonymous

You aren't the first or last client of hers (or of any stylist's) who will decide to go elsewhere. Sometimes you outgrow your stylist and you shouldn't feel guilty about that. Just don't schedule another appointment. If she realizes she hasn't seen you in awhile, she might contact and ask you why ... but most stylists I know *get* why they haven't seen a client in awhile.

I've known my stylist for 12 years. For awhile, I stopped going to her because her salon moved further away and she was expensive. I was also growing out my hair and tried a few local places to "see" if she was worth the cost and the trip. Eventually, I showed up again and she was just as welcoming as if I'd never left.

A stylist who can't handle you moving on in a professional manner is not worth going to in the first place. It's part of the business.

15 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Tricky stuff.

Can you get someone to give you a gift voucher to another salon?

15 years ago

Misia

Veteran

As a stylist myself, I say you shouldn't feel bad and see someone new if you like!
I'm very open minded about this, turn the page and think maybe she doesn't want to see you either, did you ever think like that?

15 years ago

Isabel

Veteran

Boy, have I been there !! I almost left my husband ( in MA ) and moved to Florida with my gay hairdresser. I just LOVED him so much..... I can't stand the memory.

I have done what Angie suggested and said that I got a gift certificate, so I went. The other thing I did ( another time ) is to say that unfortunately the hours just no longer worked for me.

This one is tough because one does develop a relationship with a hairdresser. It is very intimate.

15 years ago

Carole

Veteran

Well, you have all given me some great food for thought! I really like Srujana's suggestion, finding a style I like and then giving her an opportunity to maintain it and a "gift certificate" is also an excellent idea...I realize this is probably a common dilema, and I realize that this is "MY" problem! By nature, I'm a very loyal person, and tend to "hang on" too long....My priority should be my hair, not feelings!

15 years ago

Queen Mum

Veteran

Carole... I have the same loyalty issues. I feel bad changing grocery stores but I would say that if she is good at what she does and has a good client base, you won't be leaving her dry. I know my hairdresser is next to impossible to get in with at the last minute and so I wouldn't feel as bad about leaving as I know she certainly isn't hurting for business. I"ve been with her for about 4 years and have toyed with the idea of "seeing other people" just to see what else is out there. I've even thought about making the hour drive to see Taylor just for the fun of it!

15 years ago

cciele

Veteran

Boy, I would love to see Taylor too!

I think most stylists are like Renata -- they've seen it all, and this switching is part of the business. It probably makes you more uncomfortable than the stylist. I could see it getting tricky though if you want to see another stylist at the same salon.

In my case, my stylist is my friend (and next door neighbor)! It has its pluses and minuses -- she does house calls (heh); sometimes she'll give my girls a trim if they're having a playdate with her daughter. But I shudder to think what will happen if I need to switch stylists, ugh. So far, she's been great though.

15 years ago

taylor

Veteran

I would love to see you ladies!!!

Carole, this subject has come up before, an d my stand is the same.
As stylists we face this time to time. It is inevitable no one stylist can be all things to all people. If your needs are not being met you MUST go elsewhere. We are usually realistic enough to realize it isn't always a perfect fit. She will still get new clients so don't worry, if you see her out and about be friendly and honest. "I am sorry but I have found someone who is just a better fit for my style" No hard feelings.

Kim, unfortunately I think we are closer to 3 hrs. away:(

15 years ago

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