OT: this body image stuff can get crazy - YouLookFab Forum

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OT: this body image stuff can get crazy

Mochi

Veteran

Yesterday I was feeling a little wistful....thinking that whether I stay at this weight, or get smaller, I will never have those full hips that are so gorgeous and womanly to me, and balance out the overall body shape so well...I'll always have proportionately small, boyish hips, and I wasn't exactly bummed about it but wished it wasn't the case. And yes, at the same time I was thinking that this was ridiculous! But that's how it is.

And this morning we had a Pilates class of only me, another woman and the instructor. BTW this other student had the body of a ballerina (not overly thin--just lithe and toned and willowy and not an ounce of fat on her). And because we had the instructor to ourselves, she asked what we wanted to focus on, and both of us said, We need to have more of an ass! There's nothing there! Help us! LOL.

Signing off, from grass is greener territory....

Body Type

16 replies

Latest reply was from Mochi

Anonymous

Oh, no , I'm so sorry you feel that way. Your figure is lovely. And you know what is even sadder I Know a lot of those women with full hips that stare at them and their tights and think they should be more slimmer, straighter different.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

I used to feel this way about my shoulders when I was younger. I always felt like my shoulders were just so BIG, almost like a man or something. After I joined YLF and started learning about body types, I realized that there are certain styles I can wear BECAUSE my shoulders are very strong. So I focused on these items for a long time and I learned to feel really good in them. I'm not sure what your body type is, but maybe you could do a search on the blog and read all the posts about it, and find a couple items that really suit you BECAUSE you have this self-perceived "flaw" (although, I haven't ever seen any of your photos and thought you have boyish hips, for what it's worth). : )

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Ha! The grass is always greener, isn't it? All my adolescent-through-adult life, I wished for slimmer hips and thighs. Even when I was in high school and 115 lbs, I still had a "womanly" shape. Now I'm much more accepting of my body the way it is, but you're right, it's very easy to get caught up in some body-image craziness.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

ditto what Janet said.

Kappy

Veteran

Yes, we do torture ourselves don't we! And you would *hate* your full hips if you had them, LOL.

rae

(website)

Veteran

On my bad days, I wish I had a much straighter figure - smaller chest, booty, hips. Even though I know multiple other girls like you who wish for more curves. On my good days, I take this as a sign that *all* shapes are beautiful and enviable, and that there's nothing wrong with thining a different body type is gorgeous. Kind of a "that's another nice way to be" thing. Sometimes it's hard to have a good day, lol.

Andrea B.

You can have *my* full hips any time you want. Seriously, I know what you're going through. I'm losing weight, and even though I'm smaller, healthier and happier, there's part of me that wishes that I could have a 22" waist, boyish hips, and a tiny bust. Ain't never gonna happen. But I'm my own kind of gorgeous...and that's even better.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Mochi, I'm from the buttless club too, so I know where you're coming from. But do your best not to dwell on your perceived imperfections. Don't even think about it. For one thing, everybody's perception of beauty is different. Just because you think your rear view is less bootylicious than it could be, doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. For example, one of my husband's best friends has a wife with the tiniest bum imaginable, and he thinks it's beyond hot. He's just not attracted to hourglass types. And for another thing, it does your heart and mind no good to waste any energy wishing for something that is never going to happen, and it doesn't matter anyway, because your genetic inheritance is not something to be proud or ashamed of. It just is what it is. You have absolutely no control over it.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to dress your figure in a way that pleases you, and accentuates the parts of your body that you like; that's a big part of what's fun about fashion. And I'm certainly not saying that you (or any of us) shouldn't exercise to maintain or improve our health and fitness! But you know, there's a ton of women out there who would love to have your boyish hips, or lovely eyes, or pretty face.

Don't get me wrong. I totally understand that a little wistfulness can creep in from time to time for all of us. I'm just trying to say that it's not productive. Sally over at Already Pretty writes about this sort of thing a lot -- do you ever go there?

Apologies if this sounds like a lecture. It was kindly meant!

Mochi

Veteran

No lecture, elisabeth, and I appreciate all the posts. No, this is not a raging dissatisfaction (heh, compared to my wish to be taller, smaller-chested)...it's not even a big deal; I was just sort of observing myself toying with this fruitless desire and knowing not only that it will never happen, but that I would likely find some way of being dissatisfied if I were to get my wish for fuller hips! Kind of a meta-observation. I just think it's bizarre how that comes out at unexpected times. I don't even really care about the butt thing too much either, but was surprised to see the ballet dancer clearly having (a bit of) an issue with hers--her body was lovely by all accounts!

Ah well, glad to be here where I can play up my strengths and feel more self-acceptance all the time.

HelenInCanada

Veteran

Body image blues are awful, aren't they - and the sooner we stop dwelling on our perceived faults and look to our positive attributes, the better!!!

I echo those who said women with fuller hips often envy those with slighter hips, those with slight shoulders wish for broader shoulders, and the whole crazy chain continues! And if models' "ideal" body shape is what people are aspiring you, hate to break it to everyone, but many of these images are airbrushed, some of these young women have not eaten properly for days to get the "flat stomach look" - not to mention the benefits pros get access to such as butt-lifting panties, liposuction & other costly and dangerous plastic surgery procedures, miracle bras, you name it. (Must add - in some cases it is a fact of pure genetic crapshoot.) If we were getting paid millions to pose for a picture, we'd engage in this silliness (IMHO) also. Funnily, these things are rising in popularity. Obsessing over body parts at the expense of our self-confidence and right to a happy life isn't too healthy.

I think it all comes down to your inner self-confidence in what you can bring as a human being AND as eye candy...lol. Spending so much time "if only"-ing seems to be a bit un-constructive. Mochi, you sound like you are taking great care of your body and interested in dressing it to its best potential - and that is what matters!

catgirl

Veteran

I'd like to move some belly fat to the booty region. None of it has to go; it just has to shift. I so hear you!

Parsley

Veteran

Mochi, I think it's human nature to want what you don't have at times.
People with curly hair wish it were straight, people with straight hair pine for curls...
I wouldn't mind a little more of a "booty" myself, and a bit of a waistline, while I'm at it!
But it's good to realize that almost everybody wants what they don't have, and then do what we can to optimize what we've got, isn't it?

Turkey Vulture

I know the feeling. I think no matter what kind of a body you have, you will always be tempted to look at other people's features and think, "Dang...I wish I had that!" It's human nature. Don't be ashamed of it, but don't let it take over your attitude about yourself, either. Remember that somebody somewhere wants what you've got -- maybe you've got enviable skin or amazing hair or beautiful teeth, or maybe you can sing beautifully or dance gracefully...all things I wish I had, like crazy!

I hear you on wanting more of a butt, too! Ha ha...mine's like a pancake. I'm always very excited when I put on something that shows a little bit of butt shape. "Look! A teeny tiny amount of junk in the trunk! It's a miracle!"

The nice thing is that we CAN tone up our butts to make the most of what nature has given us, and we can dress to accentuate it. And your hips, too! You can wear clothes that make you look like you've got killer hips, and nobody needs to know except you and anybody you might choose to get naked with.

*HUGS*

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Mochi, so sorry that you are feeling this way. Please try to be kind to yourself, and recognize that you are beautiful, and worthy. Because you are.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

AG- you know they can do that!

Mochi

Veteran

I was going to say--it's absolutely been done! I think they do stuff like that in Brazil and Venezuela and places like that where getting cosmetic surgery is like going to the dentist for your six-month cleaning.