OT - stress management - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

OT - stress management

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I normally hate May between Mother's day and it also the month of the anniversary of my mother's death.
Work has been extra stressful because I've been covering for co-workers on vacation. Last week I had a patient go code grey on me. He was so out of control that I had to call in the special team to hold him down and put him in four point restraints.
I was on call this last weekend.
Today I snapped at my lead tech. We were able to iron things out thank goodness.
I come home today and call my Dad only to find out he tripped and dislocated his finger.
I had a massage last week, but I think it's effects quickly wore out.
I try to go for walks on my off days.
I need some other suggestions for de-stressing.

General

29 replies

Latest reply was from

Maya

Veteran

I'm sorry Anna. That's a lot going on at once. No wonder you're frazzled.

I've been going through some rough times too, and found that meditation helps. You don't realize how cluttered and chaotic your mind is until you try to clear it. I have been feeling a bit more in control of how I react to things since I started.

I hope things settle down for you soon.

MsMary

Veteran

I find there's nothing like a good hard sweaty workout. I've been working with a personal trainer and taking small-group boot camp classes, and while it's kicking my butt, there is nothing like it for stress relief! I sleep like a baby these days! I know it's hard to find the time and the money and the inclination, but really... there's nothing like it. I'm so hooked I even go in at 6 a.m. on Fridays to get in an extra session.

And I feel for your dad -- I tripped over the laundry basket and dislocated by finger last fall and YOWCH!!

elpgal

Veteran

Anna, I am sorry you are having a tough time. Are you getting enough sleep? If you have the time and like watching TV, I highly recommend picking some show and working your way through it season by season. If you can get away for a bit, a spa retreat over the memorial day weekend will take you right out of May into, hopefully, a happier June.

Anonymous

Anna, it's hard to turn off the stress. I need silence, which I suppose is like meditation. No radio, TV, music, etc. At first it seems chaotic because all the clutter inside starts to surface. It usually takes over an hour with work for me to get past the point that constructive thoughts and ideas start to flow. This can be combined with walking or taking a long drive.
Remember the serenity prayer about accepting what you cannot change, changing what you can and the wisdom to know the difference.
It also helps to remind yourself that "this too shall pass"
big hugs!

Kate

Veteran

It depends on what's stressing me out. In addition to what's already been said (exercise, tv, silence/meditation, music) I like activities where I can be creative (knitting, sewing) when I feel like I'm in a rut. When I feel like things are out of my control, cleaning (often coupled with music but sometimes in silence) can help me feel like I am in charge of my life and my environment. Do you have a pet, or have a friend or neighbor with a pet that you can get some cuddle time with? Cute furry things always make me happier and calmer. I also try to make sure I maintain a healthy relationship with food. I may start eating more of my happy foods, but I also mix in more healthy foods and exercise and not overdue the junk food. I never feel good after the burger, fries, and shake are in my tummy

I'm sorry that this month has been so tough. It will get better, especially as it finally starts to get sunnier in Seattle! My thoughts are with you.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh, Anna. (((HUGS))). I am sorry that this is a grotty and hard month. May it pass asap.

You've received great advice already. If it were me, I'd ask for the support of my friends. There is solace in sharing and no need to go it alone. I know that you don't go out on work nights but perhaps you need to. Solicit a few friends, chat to them on the phone, take the train to Portland over the weekend.

Have another massage or facial. And at worst, we are always here.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Drinks with a friend (hint)?

Aziraphale

Veteran

I'm sorry to hear you've had such a bad month. It has got to get better, right?

When I feel the stress piling on, I run. As fast and as often as possible. Usually that means four times a week at most, but it seems to help with just about everything. I sleep better, I feel calmer, and I seem to keep my sense of perspective better.

As Jenava suggests, drinks with friends isn't a bad idea either.

Louise

Veteran

Oh Anna what a rotten few weeks (((hugs))). Make sure you're getting enough sleep x

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

So sorry you're having a rough time.

You've had some excellent ideas. The thing I've been thinking about quite a lot this year (not to do with stress necessarily) is 'mindfulness' (I'm not quite sure where or when that term came from), which is when you are 'in the moment' with whatever you do, and all of these suggestions have this in them.

I'm currently convinced that the reason many destressers never worked for me is that whenever I did them I would still be thinking about what I was stressed about! If I'm struggling with this I'll say in my head what I'm doing to help me focus.

Sally

Veteran

I find it important to have a ritual when i get home to help me relax....e.g I change my clothes, pour a glass of wine and sit down. I also run a hot bath and try and give myself the signals to relax. Make your place a sanctuary to get some head space in. Walking is really good....I used to walk along and talk to myself. One of my friends told me that she found it good to go somewhere no one could hear her and give out a huge scream or roar.

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time Anna.

It seems like everyone has given you some wonderful advice. I'm taking a slightly different approach - I hope that you can understand where I'm coming from and that I'm not appearing like a total lunatic!

Have you given yourself permission to accept that these couple of weeks in May are difficult and it's likely that you may feel sad and stressed?

It may sound a little silly, but I have the same 'issue' with my own mother's passing. (She died right before Christmas - we buried her on the 23rd of December. Given that Christmas is a time of families and togetherness, it really sucks the big cahoona. Christmas in my family is also stressful time. Double yay. So I do 'get' where you are coming from.)

I've just decided that I've given myself permission that it is ok to feel emotional and craggy and sad and angry and hyper and depressed at any given time. However, and this is equally important... I've also given myself permission to laugh and smile and have fun at any given time. I've learnt you can feel incredibly sad and filled with incredible joy at the same time. (Having three little boys on Christmas morning brings home this fact.)

Otherwise, a good old scream at the top of your lungs in the car, hitting the steering wheel and wailing "It just isn't *fair*" has been unofficially known to help too. (Just make sure you have the windows up and the radio on. Not that I'd know about this.... ;-))

Seriously, I hope you do feel a lot better very soon. x

krishnidoux

Veteran

Anna, I am sorry for your loss and for the stressful times you are going through. I reply here because recently, this winter, I went through very stressful times myself which left me in a terrible shape and so ugly I couldn't recognize myself in the mirror. I am happy to say that I have recovered (still am). Here are the things that helped me:

1) Yoga or Body Flow. In which you breathe in, breathe out along with the movement. And: aqua-aerobics. I am generally just as MaryK about workouts, but this time, it didn't cut it for me! I couldn't find inner peace, and I would end my sweaty workouts so exhausted I often was crying, for no apparent reason, by stretching time. So I switched to slower movements. Still sweat, but not the same dynamics. The water exercise also provide an all over massage, very soothing. Helps tremendously. Not the same person at the end that I was when I started, ideas fall back into perspective etc.

2) Supplements: a doctor recommended a regimen and I followed it just to have a good conscience... I always took supplements but never paid too much attention. Well I was wrong. The supplements have been working as a huge calming, equalizing tool. I recommend you try a very good B complex (Sisu is a good one). Calcium-Magnesium is also a good one for stress. This is what I started taking which helped a lot: C, D, B complex, Calcium-Magnesium, Omega 3. Read the label. Respect the dosage: if two caplets are recommended, try taking them at different times of the day.

3) Digestive enzimes: taken with every meal (3 x a day). This stuff is a life changing discovery for me! It made me realize how much my stomach would become upset or sour from the stress, then it backfired with me becoming more tired and stressed from a bad stomach not knowing it, then I'd be bloated, then clothes didn't fit and I would feel depressed, and it affected my sleep... it took about a week before I started to really feel a huge difference. After one month my stomach was never bloated. Now I am hooked.

4) Finally, water intake. I upped it, had to force myself. Yes, had to visit the loo more often, esp. in the beginning. But what a huge payback I got all around for those small prices to pay! Water is free! I am no doctor and can't explain, but I can tell you: my skin became radiant, my mood became very calm, my energy increased, digestion is now easier, overall it makes me feel so good.

These little changes had a huge impact, and one of the best one for me is that it made me so much happier all over in my life. I hope this can be of any help to you.

Hang in there, June is just around the corner...

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I went through a really rough period at work a few years ago. I joined the running room and did a learn to run class. I find that there is nothing like running to clear the mind and open up the possibilities. I would start a run with my mind spinning and spinning about the day or a major issue. Within a mile, it would have slowed down dramatically, and another mile and it would no longer feel insurmountable. There is no other form of exercise that works as well. I found two or three runs per week was enough to take the edge off so that events that would normally have caused great stress instead resulted in laughter. I haven't run in a few months but know I need to get back to it soon.

I hope you find the right solution that works for you.

anna

I have very high stress circumstances in my life and my current life saver is Bikram Yoga. Try it at least 15 times. Then evaluate.

Debbie

Veteran

I recently went through a time like this. I went ot therapy as suggested by a good friend. It definitely helped.

MsMary

Veteran

Another vote for therapy. I've been going for years and it's very, uh, therapeutic!

Lynne

Veteran

Oh, Anna, sending hugs. I feel for you.

You have so much good advice here.

Something that worked for me was this: to imagine a symbol of your core, inner, most steadfast self. The part of you that would do whatever was neccessary for those you love the most. For me, that is a small grey stone. I visualize it, inside, and know that I have the strength to do whatever it is I need to do. It's like going down into a still, deep, quiet place within yourself and connecting with that strong core. And when you need, to, let the tears flow. They need to bubble up and come out. Bless, hope this helps, if not, just discard xoxo

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for all the suggestions I really appreciate it. I signed up for a seven mile hike on Saturday, going here:

http://www.wta.org/go-hiking/hikes/lake-serene

I think it'll be very good for me.

On June 9th I'm going to Ocean Shores, WA for three nights. The place we're staying has a hot tub. I predict lots of time in it.
I also checked the schedule of my local yoga studio. I haven't done yoga in 5 years, but I think it would be good for me to restart.

Heather

Veteran

Anna, I am so sorry for the chain of unfortunate occurrences. Tons of awesome advice here (making notes, too!). I am thinking of you and sending you warm hugs. <3

p.s. Hope your Dad heals up quickly, too.

nancylee

Veteran

I second all of the above as needed (exercise, yoga, nature time, therapy, massages, talk time with friends, meditation) and add another: acupuncture. My sister has been using it for stress/anxiety relief and she says it really works!

Debora

Veteran

Anna, I don't think I can improve on the advice that you've gotten above. Just wanted to send you a hug and let you know that you are cared for deeply in this community. We are here if you need us.

Lynne

Veteran

Anna, I've just logged on to say that it's absolutely normal to be stressed given what you're going through, so do be kind and gentle with yourself. I'm not sure what a 'code grey' means, except that you were probably in danger, and that is scary. Take care, and we're all here for you. Enjoy your hike!

Inge

(website)

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time, Anna. I really don't have much to add to the excellent advice of the other ladies here, but I'm loving the sound of your trip to Ocean Shores. I can't explain it, but being near water (the sea, a river, a lake) often has a calming effect on me (and that hot tub isn't going to hurt either:-).

Best wishes for your Dad, and we're here for you.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Nancylee this is true! I didn't believe it but I tried it last summer for only one session and was so surprised at how much it worked. It's no wishful thinking. But it is so expensive!

Aida

Veteran

Sorry this month is so stressful for you Anna That hike looks great, and so pretty! And a hot tub at Ocean Shores sounds delightful. I'd also like to offer my services for the drinks-with-friends option if it's exercised and you want some more-the-merrier(EDIT: I can bring the black crackle polish!)

catgirl

Veteran

Anna, I twenty-fifth all the advice here, and I'm going to add yet another (if someone didn't already say it): keeping a journal. In looking back at my journals, I've realized that they all are full of misery in retrospect, but at the time they helped me work through my issues and spill my thoughts out of my head where they were clattering around.

I would suggest buying a cheap notebook, rather than a beautiful handmade journal - I have stacks of those that I collected and never used, fearing to ruin them with my ramblings.

Hugs to you.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Anna, I'm so sorry. Believe me, I can relate to some of what you're going through. There are lots of great suggestions here, and I've been trying to take many of these things to heart -- meditation, exercise (my running is helping immensely), and like Katiepea said, acknowledging that this is a stressful time and allowing yourself to feel and process the emotions so that you can move *through* them rather than get stuck in them. I hope that makes a little sense. I find I handle things much better when I simply allow myself a little time to feel what I need to feel rather than stuffing it down, which is what I learned to do growing up.

Most of all, I just want to let you know I'm thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way. I hope this passes soon!

Anonymous

Wow I can totally relate to this post. The only thing I can say is hang in there, it will get better. I was put on the drug Claravis ( accutane) after 16 years of failed attempts to control a persistent cystic acne problem. Although the drug seemed to work, in late february I experienced a panic attack, which led me to be unable to work for about 2 weeks. I am still battling drug induced depression but I feel I'm getting better without medication. On top of it, my grandma got diagnosed with an unoperable stomach cancer in early April, that sent me further into my abyss. It has been a very, very hard year.

What has helped me is to remain positive and to think that what I'm experiencing now is just temporary. One day i will overcome this!
ETA: I also found a very good therapist who has helped me rationalize my thoughts and work thru my bouts of anxiety.