It looks good. I don't think the red is too "out there" especially going back and reading what you said about the area you work in. I think the difference in "edginess" between the pic you posted asking for suggestions and the cut and color you have rests on a few key points.
1) the cut itself--- the pic has bangs (not that that necessarily makes it edgier, but it adds another level and more interest/less smoothness to the cut), the model has a more dramatic transition from the shorter layers in the back to longer in the front-- her front layers are much longer than yours and she has a few more shorter layers in the back to help add fullness and creates a more dramatic "stacked" wedge cut-- although you can't see a full frontal shot of the model, I doubt she has the fullness around the jawline that your cut has
2) the styling--- the woman in the picture either has very, very thick hair and/or the back is teased/blown out into a pseudo-bouffant to provide the lift and roundness at the back , which the different layering helps achieve, also the hair from behind and just in front of the ears appears to have been blown forward to achieve the angle below her jaw-- finally the hair framing her face has been blown-dry or straightened with a flat iron to give it that "sharp" look and to direct it and keep it out of her face, where your hair looks very soft and styled "round" in the pic-- the model has more roundness and fullness at the crown and less at the jawline, creating less width there
3) the color-- instead of the thinner stripes of color you have, the model appears to have just two large sections of color, her bangs/the hair framing her face has been colored completely, and the maroon/pink area appears to be only the top layer of that section-- generally this technique is called bayalage--- but i know a lot of the younger people have started referring to the much wider sections of color like those in your inspiration photo as "chunking" -- I have seen many people put one dramatic "chunk" of color an inch or two wide in the hair right behind the section that frames their face. That way they still get the edgy factor, but their natural color is near their skin
The cut and color looks great as it is, but if you are willing to style it more and want to edge it up I think you could with a few tweaks!
