I know you do. That's why I'm withholding them if you don't go to the cocktail party!

I don't think that the potential new employer will think that. The event was pre- planned and you need to keep your options open. Also, you could arrive late.

You must attend!
In all seriousness, find a way to go to this thing. It's perfectly reasonable to explain to your new employer that you had a prior commitment and request permission to leave a little early, while also volunteering to make up the time by staying late or coming in early some other time. That demonstrates your commitment to the new project and enables you to make this crucial function. Nothing may come of it if you do go, but nothing is guaranteed to happen if you stay home.
Angie, you withhold the cupcakes and I'll withhold Revie-play-time if she doesn't go!

Please go Maya!! Coincidentally, we just had our museum volunteer dinner last weekend. I know you don't feel you know anyone, but I bet you will by the end of the evening.

Maybe you could confide in the person you feel closest to there (maybe your new boss)... "I'm going to go, but honestly I'm a little nervous that I won't know anyone!". Hopefully he or she will take the hint and either stick by you or put you in good hands.

I find it helpful to ask people about themselves, "So, are you a volunteer? Which area are you in?". I'm shy also, but I've found there's rarely an awkward moment if you just make an effort at a little conversation. Many people will be just as nervous as you and will be busy worrying about themselves! You don't have to be a rock star networker at this thing, just go and see where the evening takes you.

Push yourself and go, it's a little painful but the best way to grow. You never know what could come out of it!

Oh and by the way, I don't drink either and it's a non-issue at a cocktail party. Just grab a seltzer water with lime and you're all set.

Shiny, I loved your list of tips! I'm going to make a note to come back to this post and review them the next time I have a cocktail party to go to!

I don't drink alcohol either and it has never been an issue.

Good luck, Maya!!! I'm rooting for you!

Maya, nowadays employers respect people who are smart enough to look out for their own careers - and that includes attending networking events and keeping up with potential new employers and past employers.

The reality is that few people go from graduation to grave at a single job. Employers don't expect loyalty like that. Neither should employees expect it from employers.

In some ways this is bad, in some ways it's good.