OT: Moving - YouLookFab Forum

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OT: Moving

Maya

Veteran

I need somewhere to vent about this. I HATE moving. I hate the whole process of packing, unpacking, shipping, shopping, and organizing. I am completely incompetent at designing spaces, so I don't even bother with decorating, which would probably be the most fun part if only I knew what I was doing.

Things never seem to go right, even when I have meticulously planned every detail. I always end up bringing too many things I don't need, forgetting things I do need, and buying the wrong kinds of things (furniture, storage, etc). I tried so hard this time to be organized. I even created an Excel spreadsheet of EVERYTHING I could possibly think of needing. I researched options on Ikea and planned out every piece of furniture and its placement. Didn't help.

This time around, I'm the only one doing all of the work. Most people have roommates or parents or boyfriends or husbands. I have no one else, which means this process is growing very long and tedious. I'm a weakling and can't do much heavy lifting, and assembling all of my Ikea stuff is taking an eternity. Of course my bed did not come with all of the hardware, so I couldn't even finish that. I was in my apartment putting things together until 10:30 last night, so I didn't get home until 1:00am. The thought of having to go BACK to Ikea to retrieve the missing pieces as well as the furniture I'm missing makes me ill. It's a major hike to get to that part of Brookyln.

On top of that, they did not even have everything I needed, nor is it available online...even though it is both online and displayed in the showroom (albeit in different colors, in some cases). Soooo now what? I can't afford anywhere else. I have to make things work even if it strays from my original plan, but how? I get so overwhelmed by all of the options. Finding a layout and creating a shopping list that worked for me was such an accomplishment for me. I don't want to start over!

I just feel like for all of the hours and work I have put into moving, I have shown very little in the way of actual progress and results. I'm already paying one month's rent for a place I'm not even living in. Now I think I may end up paying for April as well, while living at home.

I wish Angie could do double duty as interior designer and fly out here to be my personal shopper. If only!

General

17 replies

Latest reply was from Michelle

biscuitsmom

Veteran

oh, girl....Im so sorry to hear this....is there anyone who can do the heavy work for you? If not, could you maybe borrow some money from someone to hire movers? Not that they make everything perfect but at least you wouldnt get all worn out from that part of it. I wish I had better advice, but everytime I moved it was a major headache and I still have things I havent unpacked in 6 years!

MsMary

Veteran

Aw, hugs, Maya!! Moving is one of the most aggravating experiences there is, isn't it? My advice is to take the rest of the day off and just try and recover and regroup. Hopefully things will look better in the morning!

cheryl

Veteran

Do you have any friends or co-workers that could possibly help you? I know some of my friends love organizing and decorating and are very good at it so maybe you could have a friend come do that for you.

Scarlet

Veteran

I am right there in the trenches with you, Maya, except that we hired a moving company, thank goodness! However, we have been here three months and there is still so much to do. We have only managed window dressings for the bedroom. There are so many decisions to make. Think of it as a work-in-progress and just get the bare-bones you need to move in. Ikea often re-stocks--are you sure you don't just need to wait a couple of weeks for the things you need?

sinead

Maya, you have my sympathies- I am someone who loathes, just loathes moving and the only thing that gets me through is friends' help. And, I am on a really tight budget but when it comes to moving, I pay for help.

Is there any, any way you can get some help with this? The guys I hired to put my kids Ikea beds and dressers together did it in no time flat because they had the right tools and knew what they were doing. It was worth the money ten times over because I was so exhausted from the move I would've had them sleeping on mattresses on the floor. (a perfectly viable option, in my book). My very first apartment had a bed, desk, sofa and shelves. I understand if you don't want to do that- but it can be fun to move in, recover from the move, and then start the decorating process. Moving is just so exhausting that I declare victory if I have the coffee stuff set up for the first morning in the new place.

Please remember it takes a long time to get things set up, From what you've written, it sounds like you want things put together and in place right away- but I don't know anyone who is able to do that. You usually have to live in a place for awhile, with some chaos or bare walls, before the decorating ideas really come together. And by taking it slower,you might be able to find some interesting pieces at flea markets or vintage shops.

Anyway, hope things can go better and that you can find some help with your move. Good luck!

Anonymous

Oh, Maya. I feel your pain. We have moved 4 times in 3 years....giant house full of stuff for 4 people. And one of those moves was to a different state. I now have such a HATE on the whole idea of moving. I did have movers and a handy husband on my team and it was STILL a nightmare. I guess the only sure thing is that regardless of how much planning and help you get....things still go wrong. And its always upsetting. I have NEVER heard of anyone having a good experience with the process. The silver lining is that you might as well just accept that things are going to go wrong and you are going to be upset. Its just that simple. Once I accepted that concept I could just roll with all the weirdness and annoyance. And move on. Just get yourself and your stuff into the new space and deal with the rest later. Break it all down into manageable bits and then move onto the next one. It will all come together at some point. *deep breathe*

Kate

Veteran

Maya, moving is indeed a pain. But it is completely worth it. I would advise getting the basics (mattress, blankets, toothbrush, some clothes, something to eat) to your apartment and moving in ASAP. The sooner you start living there the sooner you will know what you need. You might not actually have a use for all of the furniture that you can't get right away, and you can buy things as you realize that you NEED them, rather than trying to plan for every possible item you might want in your home. By moving things from your parents' house as you decide that you want/need them, you will keep yourself from bringing too much stuff. It's never going to be perfect before you start living in it and making it your home.

Lisa

Veteran

I had a span where I moved 5 times in 3 years, among 3 states, so I can sympathize. It's a pain in the tush! And I agree with Kate, do the minimum to get yourself settled, which is really sleeping and the bathroom. Then you can take your time doing the rest as you have time and money to do so.

Maya

Veteran

I think I'm already doing the minimum. Actually, the minimum is all I will be doing. I have neither the budget, time, or interest in doing more than that. But the minimum is still a lot for one person with a full time job, and when things go wrong, I can't do anything about it. I can't get the additional hardware from Ikea until next weekend now, so my bed is just sitting there half done in my apartment. If I had THAT much done, I'd at least feel like it was somewhat liveable.

I could tough it out and live on a mattress on the floor with boxes and eat takeout every day until I get some dishes and cookware, but why would I do that? There isn't really any benefit. If anything it would be even more problematic because I would be buying things out of desperation rather than really thinking them through.

Frances

Maya, I moved into a new apartment last weekend and you have my complete sympathy. It's an exhausting process, and I still have a small mountain of unpacked boxes in one corner of my living room. Progress is incremental. I spent all of this weekend trying to figure out how to make the bathroom work better for my morning routine, shopping for a functional showerhead and installing hooks for towels. I just finished buying and putting together an expandable shoe rack for my (sniff!) slightly smaller closet, but I have no idea where to put my handbags or half my bathroom supplies. Then there are the books--5 boxes of them I still haven't unpacked because I've run out of shelves! And next weekend I'm headed out of town for a conference, so I won't get much done then. Though it drives me crazy to live in such a mess, I am just accepting that I will be living out of boxes for a while. The good news is, the more I live here and absorb my surroundings, the more ideas I get for improving the space or making creative use of it for all the things I have yet to unpack. But there have been many times in past several weeks when I've just wanted to toss everything into a dumpster and sleep on a mattress on the floor.

Good luck to you. It will come together in time. (Humor me on this--my belief in this is getting me through this.)

AJ

Veteran

Ugh that does sound frustrating...especially since you have to do it alone.

How about this idea for your bed until you can get the parts you need?
http://www.apartmenttherapy.co.....ok--083166

yublocka

(website)

Veteran

Maya I feel your pain, moving sucks!!! I slept on a mattress on the floor for a few months last year before I got organised and bought a bed. So trust me you wouldnt be the first one to do that. As long as you have water, electricity, a mattress and a fridge, any place is liveable! (assuming you can borrow a plate, cup & one set cutlery from your parents place). Can you not bribe your dad and/or brother to help you? That's what family are for!!!

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Ugh! IKEA furniture is really hard to assemble, at least from my viewpoint (especially when the furniture has drawers). Give yourself credit. It once took my parents 4 hours to assemble a small nightstand and it nearly cost them their marriage

rae

(website)

Veteran

<winces> I remember the last time I moved... I think the bf and I slept for two months straight afterward, and our bodies felt depressed on top of if. Bleah!

What kinds of items are you missing? Although you might have to go to Ikea to get the missing parts, it might be worth calling and asking if they could ship them, since it's their fault the parts were left out. You could have someone call other stores - maybe even out of state - and see if the right items in the right colors can be shipped in as well.

Maya

Veteran

Ok, I am freaking out a little bit less today. I replanned my space after looking at some inspiration pictures, and I actually like the new layout better than the old one. I ordered a bunch of stuff, including:

-New quilt and shams
-Fuchsia chenille rug
-Dresser and nightstand
-Shower curtain, liner, and rings
-Turquoise ruffled curtains

I guess I am more of a decorator than I thought. Somehow I instinctively ended up with a black/white/fuchsia/turquoise color scheme, although I hadn't planned it that way. That makes me feel better because I love those colors.

It also makes me feel better about not being able to fully assemble my bed. I want to put the fuchsia rug under the bed, which would be considerably harder if it was fully assembled. Since it isn't, I can easily slip it underneath and build my bed on top of it.

I still need to get blinds, bed sheets, a couple of benches, a bar table, storage baskets, and shelf dividers. But aside from the blinds and sheets, these are not essential right now. Other than that, it's just little things like cooking and cleaning supplies, towels, etc. And of course all of my possessions, which are mostly clothes and shoes :p

I guess my thinking is that if I get things as right as possible from the start, it will make life so much easier in terms of future moves. I know SO MANY PEOPLE who just perpetually live out of boxes and never seem to get things together because they didn't have the opportunity and just never got around to it. Their lease was up or they were coming from out of state, and they just had to suck it up and do it quickly without thinking too hard about it. I'm lucky that I don't have that kind of pressure, so I'm trying to take advantage of it and make the most of it, but I guess I'm also impatient.

Thanks for all the empathy. I see I am not the only one who loathes this process.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

having never lived anywhere more than 6 years my entire life, including all through childhood, moving is another part of life to me. I have gone back and forth from CA to FL 4 times now in 8 years (that's 8 drives across the country in a Subaru with cats!). And you can expect to lose or break something pretty much every time even with professionals(cracked tip of my surfboard for starters) .
I once slept on the floor (not a mattress, just piles of blankets for padding) for 6 months in Las Vegas with a BF. And wouldn't you know the day after I finally bought a brand new bed from Penney's I got laid off when the restaurant that I worked for closed. STRESS!
So, moving is never a seamless affair but I think it's good for the soul in the sense that you decide what you really need and in a way you find your inner strength when dealing with adversity.
And your color scheme sounds lovely. Do we get pics when you are all moved in a decorated?

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Maya, it actually sounds like you might be ahead of the game when it comes to moving. You have a colour scheme figured out, you've already identified some key gaps and taken steps to fill them. Believe me, you're light years beyond those people you referenced who live out of boxes continually, and even some of those who don't! Corey and I had our placed fully set up and unpacked after the first weekend (though we had both movers and family members pitching in), but six years later we're still refining our colour scheme and picking out the optimal pieces. Native impatience is my moving downfall, too, but you'll just have to keep it at bay as much as possible. Moving takes time for anyone, and that's just the end of that. Keep plugging away, a little bit every day (or week, or whatever time frame makes sense right now), and one morning you'll just wake up and realize you're done.