Tara, I second (or third, or fourth?) the advice to eat whole foods, lots and lots of veggies, lean protein and healthy fat, and to reduce simple and especially processed carbs.
Fruit is tricky. It's sugar, yes, but it is also loaded with vitamins, and can be certainly be part of a weight loss plan; however, it helps to confine sugary foods (including fruit) to the hour or so after a workout, when your body can handle the simple carbs more effectively.
FWIW, during the time I was losing weight, I did not count calories (except for a two week period, to see how I was managing with macronutrients and whether I needed to make adjustments.) Instead, I controlled portions (eating until I was about 80% full), and moved starchy carbs such as potatoes, sweet potatoes and grains, to the post-workout period. I continued to eat fruit, but only two to three portions a day, mostly stuff like apples and oranges or berries. I ate lots of lean protein and healthy fat—more than the macros on those sites recommend, by the way. And lots and lots and LOTS of veggies, especially green veggies.
I also continued to enjoy a couple of meals each week that included a glass or two of wine, a dessert, a rich sauce, a dish of pasta, or simply more food than I was typically eating. It helped me to know that I could still indulge in some of my pleasures and kept me on track the rest of the week.
I've been maintaining my weight for the past six months. I eat more fruit now; it has become my sweet of choice, because, as others have said, over time you can lose your taste for the things you stop eating so often. And also, my body handles it better. I am ABLE to eat more without it turning to fat, because my body's insulin response is much better. I no longer get those hypoglycemic swings I used to get. Enough protein and healthy fat ensures I don't feel "starving" all the time.
I am not following a paleo diet (I do eat dairy and grains) but apart from special occasions, I eat almost no bread, no pasta, no processed cereals—and I do not miss them a bit. What helped me was working in slow steps, as Heather said. Changing one thing at a time, letting myself get used to that change, and then changing something else. Trying to do it all can be really overwhelming, especially if you are feeding a family!
My weight loss was slow, especially at the start, but I averaged a pound or two a week. You'd be surprised how soon those pounds add up to a big difference. And congratulations on already having lost one!
