OT: Have you had a "second chance"? - YouLookFab Forum

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OT: Have you had a "second chance"?

April

Veteran

Could be in love, or career, or post-illness, or new house, or any other change that gave you an opportunity to alter your life's direction in a positive way.

For me, it was definitely when I got involved with SO. Before then, I didn't know what it was like to be in a romantic relationship with the person whom you truly consider your best friend, and that has been truly life-changing.

How about you?

General

39 replies

Latest reply was from MsMary

Mae

Yup and ditto.
Were you looking for more details?

April

Veteran

LOL As many as you care to share...

Srujana

Veteran

Ditto for me too

Maya

Veteran

...no.

Easy!

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Lots of chances in life ... 2nd, 3rd, 4th and more. Every new situation brings good stuff, and challenges too. Glad you are happy

MsMary

Veteran

I'm with Laura. I've had more chances than you can shake a stick at. I'm on my second marriage, my second round of grad school, my third career... as long as you're alive, life keeps giving you chances!

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

My greatest "second chance" came when I got laid off in the Dot Bomb.

I have an art degree and have always had an interest in working with animals (I've held many animal related jobs and even was accepted to pre-veterinary). However, when I moved away from the Eastcoast and in with my now DH I took whatever jobs I could get. That meant I ended up in call centers and eventually segued into software. I HATED it, but felt I had no other choice. The money was good and frankly, fairly easy. I felt trapped.

But then that choice was taken away from me and I got laid off. We've never really recovered financially, however spiritually I am so far better off. I became creative again. While I was unemployed I taught myself several new crafts and eventually found a new career. Losing that cushy job was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I will -never- work in another office again.

shana

Veteran

More than I can count. Life is full of second chances!!

Megan

I can't think of a 2nd chance story that is as poignant as my SO's story- he didn't get tenure at one of the most prestigious universities in the US then his wife left him because of it. He then got a job here in Australia and has had huge career success (plus personal success, even if I so say so myself :P) and is really glad that he didn't get tenure.

wilson

A resounding Yes! I am in the midst of creating a second chance right now. Almost two years ago a major crisis left me feeling like all the good and wonderful things in my life were snatched away from me literally overnight. At the time I didn't view it as an opportunity for a second chance but with time I have come to see that there has been a beautiful gift in all of it. I closed our business that was interesting and challenging, but had been more my husband's passion than mine and not something I was prepared to continue on my own. After months of consideration and counsel from wise friends I moved to a university town to go back to school for nursing. This will help me fulfill a long-time passion I have had since childhood.

marianna

Veteran

Hmm. Not yet. Still looking for a first chance, if that makes any sense.

Maya

Veteran

It makes lots of sense Marianna. I am too. Sometimes I think I avoid dealing with certain life experiences because I know things rarely work out the first time. It's a very bad habit of mine.

LeahJanes

Moving overseas was the biggest second chance I have had. My whole outlook, personality and luck completely changed. I never thought I could be so happy So many good things have happened since I moved here, some of them through my changed outlook and hard work, and others just pure good luck. I am very grateful.

I'm with the others, life is full of chances. Your number is never up while you're still breathing.

Lisa

Veteran

Second chances, hmm, on my first marriage, but it was my second engagement. Liked my first degree, but my second one helped advance my career further. Enjoyed my first career but my second one, I like a LOT more! I always thought getting older was a gift and while youth has it's pluses as I get more and more white hairs (nope they are bypassing gray and going right to white) I find the experience and wisdom are irreplaceable. I apply this to second chances too, you have the experience and knowledge to handle situations differently (and ideally better) the second time around.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

At first I thought that I did not have any second chances but then it dawned on me: I have moved across the ocean to another country! That was really a life changing experience and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Scarlet

Veteran

I am still riding wave number 1 but I really enjoyed reading other people's stories.

Sharon

Veteran

I'm in the "life is full of second chances" camp. I went back to university at age 30 to fulfill a long time dream. At the time my children were aged 6 and 3, and we had to move interstate for me to do it. So as impossible as it may have seemed before it happened, I got my second chance!

Kari

Veteran

Yup. I went through a very devastating breakup several years back that kind of derailed a lot of the plans and beliefs I had in my life. Once I realized just how much of my life had become centered around one person, who turned out to be incredibly dishonest, passive-aggressive, and disloyal, I was completely disgusted with myself.

After some time trying to re-orient my life & core principles, I decided that I did want to meet someone romantically and gave internet dating through personal ads a try. I figured that at worst, I'd probably have some hilarious bad-date stories to laugh about with friends. It turned out that my first date and I totally clicked, and I've been dating this completely open, honest man who constantly makes me laugh for nearly 3 years now. We get each other, but we also give each other room to have our own separate lives & hobbies. I still think it's uncanny that two individuals who typically are VERY shy about approaching strangers would find each other through internet personals ads - which you'd think would be the last place people like us would turn to.

In terms of everything in my life that kind of halted at that point several years ago - uncertainty about careers, loss of faith, lack of self-confidence - I've tried very hard to make the most of my second chance(s) this time around!

April

Veteran

@ Laura, MaryK, and Shana -- of course you're right that we all have lots of chances in lots of areas all the time. But the thing is, we mostly don't pursue them. That's not a bad thing, since not doing so can be an indicator that things are good as they are, and since it would be hard to create any kind of coherent life if we constantly changed course.

But the ones I'm asking about are the major forks in the road where we've deliberately chosen (or had thrust upon us) a completely different direction. More specifically, I'm asking about the ones where that other direction turned out to be surprisingly wonderful.

@ Maya and Marianna -- in your twenties, it makes perfect sense to be creating your initial path.

@ Mae, Srujana, RT, Megan, Paige, LJ, Lisa, Sveta, Sharon, and Kari -- group hug! So glad you also found good things on the other side.

MsMary

Veteran

I guess I didn't make myself clear. YES! Yes, yes, and yes! I have had major forks in the road where the other direction turned out to be surprisingly wonderful!

In particular, I left private law practice some years ago to go into a government setting. At the time it was a gigantic pay cut, a gigantic cut in prestige, and basically I thought I was committing career suicide. But it was worth it to me at the time because I was totally burned out and wanted to have some time with my family before my son was completely grown up and out of the house for good.

Lo and behold, not only did I get the benefits I'd been hoping for when I gave up The Big Career, but it started me on a whole new career path and now I have an amazing dream job and have regained all the money and prestige I gave up, with interest!

rute

Veteran

Couldn't agree more.. sometimes we say that life doesn't gives you second chances but that's not true! But you have to look for them, to work for them!
My second chance was my second marriage, truly a second life: new house, new city and a love I never tought it could even be possible!

April

Veteran

And Rute, your happiness shines on your face in every photo... You have one of the most joyful smiles I've ever seen.

cciele

Veteran

I'm at a major fork in my life right now and I really hope a second chance will work out for the better. Because if it doesn't, there's a lot at stake. Sorry to be so vague; will post in a separate thread later.

Meanwhile, I'm glad to read of the successes you have had with your second chances. It gives me hope!

wilson

I am really loving reading these posts! Keep them coming!

April

Veteran

Cathy, although I don't know what you're dealing with, there is plenty of reason to be hopeful. Wishing you the best in making the right decisions for yourself!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I redid my entire life starting at age 29. Still an ongoing process.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

@ April, so happy you have made the most of your second chance. Bless yours and SO's heart.

Barbara

Veteran

For me it was the decision to move to Europe with my husband and then-toddler son and live there for 12 years from 1988 to 2000. It was incredible and life-altering.

Kari

Veteran

Hugs to you, Cathy. I hope that all works out well.

I appreciate this thread, April, and all of you who shared your experiences - it's hopeful to know that great and joyful things can emerge from second chances even though it can be terrifying to be right in the middle of that process.

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