OT: Have you ever moved to different city without knowing anyone?

Victoria

I am curious if anyone have ever done that or how difficult it was to get settled. I moved to different state after I met my DH but i already knew him and his family so that's not exactly the same

13 years ago

Off Topic

18 replies

Latest reply was from Aziraphale

ramya

Veteran

i recently moved to a different country with my Dh and it was hard.

13 years ago

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I have not - and I think it would be both exciting and terrifying. You would have to be an outgoing personality and embrace everything a new city has to offer so that you can get out and meet people.

13 years ago

Caro in Oz

Veteran

My husband & I moved interstate about two & 1/2 years ago. We love the climate & lifestyle but have found the lack of really close friends difficult. I initially worked from home (now retired) so that really narrowed my socialising options too.

I've really put myself out there by joining everything in sight & while I have met some great people I haven't met anyone I've really clicked with; I still call my old friends for deeper conversations.

I don't regret our move but it has been more isolating than I would have hoped.

13 years ago

Astrid

Veteran

I moved to Berlin on my own without knowing anyone there, and I was also moving out at the time. Jumping in at the deep end! It went relatively well and I was lucky to meet some great people early on so that I didn't feel too lonely. I still have contact with some of my older friends all the same.

13 years ago

Kristin L

Veteran

When I went to do my MS, I moved to a city where I didn't know a soul. I'm not going to lie, it's hard. It took about 8 months for me to really start feeling comfortable. I think doing something like that is a good experience for most people because it showed me that I could survive on my own and start over in a new city. It may take some people less time than it took me, but I'm more of an introvert.

13 years ago

Astrid

Veteran

Kristin, I'm an introvert too - but I guess I was lucky. And you're right, it really helps me to know that I'm able to manage starting somewhere knew. Who knows if I'll need that confidence, but it's good to have all the same.

13 years ago

(website)

Veteran

I started doing this at 22 with my first serious BF (moved to Vegas) and then he and I moved to Tahoe and Oregon after that. He kept moving (to Hawaii and now Alaska) and I stayed in Tahoe.
After 10 years settled in Tahoe, started moving to FL and back with now BF of 11 years. Been to 4 different cities over the last 9 years (only this last city have we repeated, but I still don't know anyone here).
It's weird but good as well. I think if I'd never have taken the leap to Vegas in my 20's, I'd have been too nervous to make changes as I got older. I tend to 'roll with the punches' pretty well. And I don't freak out really at being alone 12 hours a day for a few years at a time. The other times, I'm bartending and see and talk to more people than the average person does in a month in the span of one shift.
I'd like to think I'm highly adaptable

13 years ago

Gaylene

Veteran

Exactly what Kristin and Ramya said. I've done this a couple of times in my life and, while it can be very lonely at the start, knowing that you can create a good life for yourself in a totally new environment can be liberating. You learn that you can do something that many people refuse to do but which can lead to exciting opportunities and new directions in your life.

It was important to me as a parent that my son learned this lesson when he graduated from high school. He left home to live in a large city 15 hours away to go to university at a very young age and then moved across the country because of the career opportunities that would be available in his new location. He has done very well in both his public and private life because he had the courage to move from what was comfortable to the unknown.

13 years ago

Gaylene

Veteran

Sorry, double post.

13 years ago

Anonymous

Yes, 5 times since I was about 30 and I am now 42. It was the result of work transfers for my husband, so we did have each other and later kids.

We have seen some other parts of Canada but you really have to get 'out there' and force yourself to do things you normally wouldn't do, in order to meet people. Some cities have been easier than others and several of our moves put us at least a dy's drive from extended family. Sometimes I think we are really brave and sometimes I think I might crack

13 years ago

Laurinda

Veteran

I moved alone from my home state to three different states in the US, and to Europe. The US moves were easier, with no language barrier plus I was younger and as a student I got a ready made set of connections. I had a hard time fitting in in Europe, many people had had the same friends since childhood and lived in the same city their entire lives and were already full up for friends. Most of my friends in Europe were other immigrants. Strictly my opinion here -- but I think Americans are perhaps more mobile, or more used to changes in their social circles. There may be regional differences, some places are more likely to have more or less of a changing population.

Since I turned 40 I have become very reluctant to move ever again. It is just too difficult for me to start over in a new place. I might work for up to a year in a new place, but I don't want to leave my current roots.

That said, I think everyone should live outside their home country for at least six months. First, it gives you perspective on your homeland from outside, plus it lets you see what it is like to be the foreigner.

13 years ago

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

I moved from Western Massachusetts to Denver with my dog when I was 27. I had never even visited anywhere near the Western part of the country and didn't know a soul. I requested a job transfer because I was moving every few months for various reasons (roommates getting married, the house I was renting got sold). I knew I didn't want to settle down and buy my own place in MA because I had never lived anywhere else and had to do that first. My Denver office was full of 20 somethings and I never had any problem with lack of social life. I actually met the man I married the first week I moved here, although it took us a couple years to start dating. Denver immediately felt like home to me, in a way that Massachusetts never did, and it was the best decision I ever made.

13 years ago

deb

Veteran

I have moved to several different cities and one country where I did not know anybody. I just treated it as a long vacation. I tried to get out and learn as much as I could about my new surroundings and soon I started making new friends.

13 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

So... I've moved around from town to town in my general area. I have learned something: the town can make all the difference. One place, I didn't meet anyone - NO ONE - until I got a dog and started taking training classes. The town I'm in now... immediately people were talking to me and suggesting dinner and coming over... It was just astonishing.

13 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I've lived in several countries throughout my life - in Asia, Africa, Europe, and the US. It's exciting and hard at the same time. The hardest part is leaving your friends behind. Making new friends was not a challenge - even when you know no one at first. I find the world a small place! And working full time has never left me feeling lonely or longing for social interaction. The culture shock has been tricky at times.

13 years ago

Veteran

Yes, when I was just shy of 21. New province, new language, new university... Technically, I knew two people in town, but I never saw them.

What helped me a lot was that I immediately got involved with a very vibrant, welcoming church. To give you an idea, I was there for only three weeks and someone threw me a birthday party. (She was later my maid of honour.) So I do think it is of utmost importance to develop a social network fairly quickly.

Fortunately, I am quite good at meeting people and adapting, but even so, it was a tough year. I think now it would be easier to stay in contact with people back home, which might soften the blow a bit more.

I've moved a couple of times since then (although with a family in tow) to cities where I knew no one else or very few people. And I might have to do it again. I have to admit, at my age, my enthusiasm for starting over yet again is waning. But at least I know I can do it.

13 years ago

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I moved to new places for both my graduate degrees. I too had a bit of a ready-made social circle in the other students, but when I moved to the UK I found that the culture here and the structure of my university made it more clique-ish and difficult to integrate. Many of my friends here are other American ex-pats, or my husband's work friends.

I don't really mind going places on my own, although sometimes I go to interesting places and hardly speak to anyone. Being a bit of a loner and an introvert helps with this, in that I am content to entertain myself.

13 years ago

Aziraphale

Veteran

My husband and I moved to California where we knew no one. But we moved so he could start at a big, well-established company that had lots of employees from not-California -- lots of Canadians, Brits, and people from elsewhere in America. Even quite a few from non-English speaking European countries, come to think of it. So the company already had a well-established culture, and many other employees who were new to the city, so we slipped right in. It helped that we joined the company softball league right away. Also, I picked up some geology courses at the local college, so met some people that way.

13 years ago

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