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OT: gving up naps

anne

Veteran

This is totally off topic but I thought some of you might have some tips.

Unlike our wonderful Angie, I can not survive on 6 hours sleep a night. I am caught between waking earlier to exercise and by our children, and at night by a night owl DH, and the fact that it takes me til about 9 to get the children settled down, the dishes washed, the last bit of of washing hung out. I am busy with 3 children and in some respects will be busier still next week when school goes back and other activities I am involved with start up.

But nearly every afternoon I collapse on to my bed for a nap! I often don't even clear the lunch table before turning in (the children either nap, or play quietly by themselves). I'd love to have that time to get more stuff done!

Any ideas how to give up mummy naps? I do miss them about 2 times a week, but then often find myself falling asleep while I read to the kids, or seriously weak feeling before our evening meal

General

23 replies

Latest reply was from Polly (thunalata)

Queen Mum

Veteran

Ann, give yourself a break and enjoy your naps as long as you need. I can't get by on 6 hours of sleep either so I understand. The lunch dishes do get done before dinner right? Your kids are clothed, fed and happy, right? There will NEVER be enough hours in the day to get everything done you think you need to so just do your best and enjoy your kiddos- they grow up way too fast

Isabel

Veteran

Ann, I am completely with queenie on this one. TAKE YOUR NAPS. If it makes you feel better, then it makes you a better parent, too.

Everybody's body is different, listen to yours .

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

I think that if you need the sleep, then you need the sleep. I am a 7 - 8 hr a night girl and often have a nap on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon to catch up. Some people just need more sleep.

Dusty

(website)

Take your naps and don't feel guilty. Think about it: if you had that extra hour or so in the day, how much more would you really get done? Is that little bit worth feeling tired and crabby (well, I can't really make that statement for you, but I'm always crabby if I don't get enough sleep) every day?

Jean Gray

Oh I'm with you! We have a couch I call the sleeping couch because if I sit on it (anytime of day) I seem to nod off within minutes...I swear it's the couch and nothing to do with me! Ha! But I'm also a nightowl. I'm tired while putting the kids to bed and then I catch my second wind while I'm waiting for them to fall asleep. Usually at least one child isn't "ready" to go to sleep yet!

I don't know how old your children are but if they are not infants you may want to check with your doctor just to make sure you're not deficient in anything or there is not some underlying reason for your fatigue. I would imagine if you're exercising regularly then it would seem you would have a little more energy to spare. And it's not a good thing to be so tired that you feel weak!

I'm not saying it's not normal and certainly acceptable to be tired as a mom...and certainly don't feel guilty about taking naps! I would just suggest you check into it and make sure you are as taken care of and healthy as you need to be! Otherwise, honor those needs and get the rest you need! BTW, I admire you for getting up early to exercise! I'm sure you will get lots of support and great ideas from the other moms here as well.

anne

Veteran

Jean - I can relate to your second wind. By inclination I am a night owl too. But my husband is MORE of one! And I am the one to get up with the kids (I don't get up to exercise every day - maybe 3 times a week at absolute most). They are 6, 4 and 2 BTW.
Thanks for all responses - I will read more in the morning. I am determined to go to bed before 10:30 tonight!

Becky

Veteran

How about sleeping later in the am and using the afternoon for exercise? I used to do that and the exercise gave me a boost of energy when it was low.

Kristine

Veteran

Don't give up the naps! Or try to move things around so you have less to do at night and can get more sleep. I could never get by on 6 hours a night. Don't feel guilty, you deserve enough sleep!!

shana

Veteran

Anne, I can empathize. I seriously need about 8-8.5 hours to feel my best. I usually average around 7 and sometimes feel like I am dragging through my day. I used to nap quite regularly whenever the children did but started to feel like my whole day was wasted and my nighttime sleep pattern was totally messed up. I also felt tired all the time! About 6 months ago, I decided to give up naptime and let me tell you, it was tough! I always get a little dozy after lunch so I try to do something active during that time - working out, dishes, ironing, talking on the phone. It's hard because I want to keep the house relatively quiet for my two year old who still takes a nap in the afternoons. The worst is sitting on the couch which is almost guaranteed to result in me falling asleep. Another idea is to limit yourself to a quick cat nap - just 20-30 minutes, which, if I recall Psych 101, would give your brain a refresher without disrupting your entire sleep cycle.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Oh Anne,I do sympathise and think it is so important to listen to your body. If you are sleeping at this time through habit you may be able to change but if you are simply exhausted please continue to nap.

My Emmy is a very early riser and Teah is a bad sleeper so between the two I am often sleep deprived. The following tactics have helped me a great deal:
1) Ben gets up with the kids on Saturday morning whilst I recharge my batteries.
2) I eat a large breakfast and lunch and have a small evening meal. I really need the energy boost in the day.

These may or may not work for you but may be worth a try.

I also second Jeans suggestion of a check up, I'm prone to anemia and a simple iron supplement can be life changing for me.

Louise

Veteran

Could your husband get the kids to bed while you do the dishes or vice versa giving you time to get to bed earlier x

cciele

Veteran

To echo Louise's point, try to enlist your husband so you have more time!

I'm going repeat everyone else and say, Get sleep where/when you can! If you need naps, take them. But not for too long, as per Shana's point. If you sleep much longer than that, you can screw up your nighttime sleep.

If you can, go to sleep earlier or wake up later. Try to incorporate exercise in smaller chunks (e.g., 15 min) throughout the day.

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

Guess I'll be the lone voice of dissention.

I think you should give up your naps...

TO ME!!!!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Although everyone needs varying amounts of sleep, it's also the quality of sleep that counts. I do only need 6 hours of sleep, but it's a great 6 hours and I feel totally rested even though I wake up in the middle of the night. Napping actually makes me feel absolutely AWFUL and very tired. I'm not saying that it doesn't help you Anne if you're not getting enough sleep - but with all my heart I believe that too much sleep is not a good thing either.

I guess I'm with MPJ - give up napping :0)

Steph

Veteran

Anne, everyone has an ideal amount of sleep they are supposed to get, and that number varies for each person. There is very little that is more important than getting enough sleep, and if you're pretty much falling asleep on your feet without a nap, then your body is 100% telling you that you need those naps. If you could get more sleep at night you might not need the naps, but if that's not possible, don't drop the naps.

Scientists, researchers, and experts in the field all agree that getting enough sleep is not a luxury, it is a necessity. However, for some strange reason being able to get by on a small amount of sleep is considered a positive attribute in our society, and people who need more sleep somehow think they are lazy or not as strong.

It is generally accepted that the average person needs 8 hours of sleep, and recent studies have actually stated 8-9 hours of sleep is optimal for most people, but that some people may need less or more. Most studies also show that getting less than six hours of sleep is not enough for the large majority of people, and most people suffer significant impairment when they consistently get less than that.

Maya

Veteran

Even 6 good hours of sleep isn't enough for me. Everyone is different. I see no shame in naps and think it's much worse to force yourself to stay awake when your body tells you it needs sleep.

To clarify, I only get 6 hours of sleep most nights, but most nights I am exhausted. On the weekends when I can get 8 or even 9 hours, I feel much better. But it is just not practical for me during the week. I need some "me" time. Otherwise I just become a robot that goes to work, eats, sleeps, and repeats the cycle.

And what Steph says about our *$&ed up society. Those who skip lunch and stay 10 hours a day at work like machines are treasured while those who lead normal, healthy human lifestyles are ridiculed as lazy. What a world.

taylor

Veteran

Anne, I just could not have functioned without a quick 15 min. nap when my children were small. Often broken sleep at night was worse for me than no sleep at all.
Enjoy your naps...mothers are so often sleep deprived...no wonder they are in sweats:(

anne

Veteran

Hmm, just wanted to clarify that my naps are fairly brief - 20-45 mins. Just the act of abandoning myself to sleep seems to be the important thing.
I don't have 6 hours everynight - often more ( I just mentioned Angie to make it slightly less off topic.)

I have made it through the last 2 days without naps! However it is now 11pm here in Aus and I am tired ( that is what comes of reading a number of threads before responding to your own)
I'll get back to you guys....

Thanks very much for the thoughtfulness of your replies

jessica

I don't have kids so I can't relate exactly, but I have always LOVED naps when I can manage them. Usually, a power nap is the way to go for me, 20-30 min. I have heard that anything more than that makes you more tired (unless you are able to get in a full sleep cycle of four hours). Anything in between, like a two-hour nap, makes me feel like a total zombie and I just can't seem to feel awake after that.

What I wanted to pass on though is this article about women being more sleep deprived than men and that it is holding us back: "A nation of sleepy women is even less capable of greatness." It has really stuck with me every since I read it. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....09973.html

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I can't understand why on earth you would want to give up naps. There's only so many hours in the day, and your body needs a certain amount of sleep to function. If you give up your naps, then you will have to go to bed earlier, sleep in later, or become a zombie.
I have the same issue of a night owl hubbie. I just go to bed before he does. He knows that I am in bed by 10 most nights because our son has to be woken up at 6:30 am, or he won't sleep at night. The kids lights are out at 9pm, so he knows to take advantage of that hour we have alone.

shana

Veteran

Oh Anne, when I was talking about me taking naps, I meant 2 hour ones which of course are totally disruptive to night time sleep patterns. But a quick 20-45 minute nap - why worry about that???

I have to say, over the past 6 months or so, I have made the effort to make my life easier by incorporating certain routines into my day. I know that I need alot of sleep and I have made some changes so that I can get it because I am so much more productive and happy when I am well rested. 8pm is bedtime for the kids & I try to be really strict about this. This gives me enough time to get chores done and still have some "me" time to wind down before bed. We don't have a TV in our bedroom and I try to read before bed rather than spend too much time on the computer where the light can interfere with sleep patterns.

anne

Veteran

Sorry Jessica, Shana and Khris for not getting back to you earlier and thanking you for your encouragement!
Khris, I usually also go to bed before DH!

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

Just thought I'd mention that I've read a bit about sleep patterns etc, and really agree with what I've read about 8-12mins sleep being the optimum amount for a nap when you feel that dip in alertness. I find that having a nap in a chair can stop the whole afternoon disappearing... or setting an alarm.

I need 8 hrs of sleep a night. When I've been much below that I've found a nap helps. Now that I mostly get 8 hrs a night I don't feel sleepy in the day and, if I nap even for that short time, I find that I'm wide awake at about 2am - my body's telling me I've had too much sleep!

One more thing - are you drinking enough water? A pint first thing in the morning and a pint at lunchtime stopped me having after lunch dips in alertness too.