OT: gluten + dairy free struggles

cyan45

i've been trying out gf/df for 2 weeks now to trouble shoot some escalating skin issues and increased bouts of nausea. my sister has switched as well (her symptoms were much more severe, albeit not celiac disease). i have already started to notice some positive changes, which is a mixed blessing.

i have been reading blogs, getting cooking tips from my sister, visiting whole foods rather than safeway/foodmart...while there are so many options available here in the bay area--info, stores, accommodating restaurants, etc...--i still feel the most sad in
social situations when i am the only one eating something different, especially if all the food is everything i LOVE

tomorrow i'm attending a casual family lunch with my fiance's family. there will be pizza, cupcakes, peach cobbler, vanilla ice cream...i plan to eat my food before we leave, and bring a gf/df dessert just for me so i can feel happier (actually, as i type this, my fiance is attempting to make me gf/df chocolate covered peppermint patties. I LOVE HIM!!!)

anyway, just needed to mope a bit. i've gone from feeling hopefully to the verge of tears time for a scoop of dairy-free german chocolate flavored coconut ice cream (yummmm).

to feel better, i also plan to wear my absolute favorite jones new york leaf print dress that angie posted last month i was skeptical at first, but both angie and all of you convinced me that it was a catch! thank you so much.

14 years ago

General

12 replies

Latest reply was from cyan45

Fruitful

Veteran

Cyan, just sending you some empathy! I'm not GF but have experimented with not eating wheat, felt much better (need to get back on it in fact). I'm lucky in that eating plans I've tried lately, allow "cheat days" - you can't really do that if you're trying to clear up skin or avoid other physical ailments. But you're not alone, there's so many people in the same situation.

I know lots of people who are GF and/or DF and they have been doing it for years. I don't know how but they navigate social situations okay, and manage to find treats so they don't feel deprived. One likes to cook, so she gets to share food socially by having people over and being the one to cook it ;). Sounds like you could do with some company/support of people in the same situation, so it seems more normal.

You can do this! And it will get easier. Enjoy the DF ice cream, and the happiness of a comfortable tummy!

14 years ago

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Man; gf is hard! I am lactose-free; but I sneak in an ice cream now and then again; luckily that and cheese I am still able to have.

It sounds like you have a plan to make the family meeting a little bit easier; have you considered going to see your doc to get the tests done? It is very difficult to go gf if you don't "have to" ...

14 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

Cyan45 I emphathise with you. I eat gluten free and this is a new thing for me (since June this year). I do find it challenging at times, but it is worth missing out on the yummy food to feel as good and well as I do. I think its all in the planning, but it takes some time to get a hang of it. Doing what you are doing for the family event sounds like a good idea. I am sure as time goes on too, friends and family will become quite sensitive to your dietary needs.

14 years ago

Sona

Veteran

Cyan: I am completely lactose free ( but can tolerate goat's milk which has been a god send!). I tried both gf and df for a while and actually found my GI issues were just as well controlled with going completely cow's milk free and it opened up a lot more possibilities for me. I'm also veegtarian but started eating fish during my gf days and continue to eat it to get more protein in my diet. Going out and etting together are the hardest when you are both gf and df . thinking of you! wear the awesome dress and smile to yourself!

14 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oh - sympathies! It is tough to go GF/dairy free, especially at first, and especially both at once! My daughter was on a GF/DF diet for 18 months (and stayed DF for several years after that). I joined her for the GF/DF months. It WAS a challenge. No question.

In our case, it turned out the diet did not need to be permanent. But I did feel quite a lot better without so much wheat in my diet and have continued to sharply limit refined grains (though I no longer rule them entirely out). But my cousin is celiac, and the difference the GF diet has made to her life has been astonishing. She is SO much healthier and happier now that she has made the change.

I'm sure you know about gluten free girl, who was a discovery of mine when we were GF.

Hang in there, and take comfort in looking gorgeous, as I know you will!
http://glutenfreegirl.com/

14 years ago

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Lisa, hugs to you...That does sound like a challenge, and feeling isolated on top of that can't be fun. May I make a suggestion for future gatherings? Offer to bring a dessert or other course that you can eat and that is also delicious. This gives you a way to take part fully while allowing others to experience another way of eating. It may even inspire others to research more recipes and make them more accommodating of you next time! This happened to me. I went to my friend's New Year's Eve party and while there tasted a gluten free citrous cake that was absolutely delicious. I've since made it myself and generally made a point of becoming more conversant with gluten free options. It benefits a lot more people than I originally thought!
Best of luck with your skin challenges. If you're ever feeling stuck, all the amazing cooks on here could probably offer up some great recipes!

14 years ago

rosee

Veteran

sympathies!
...can't really comment about it yet as I'm still learning (mostly about Specific Carbs diet and GAPS -- both are gluten free but minimal dairy is allowed like yogurt and some cheese). This is the direction I want to follow with my eating due to health issues but it does seem like an overwhelming change.
Thanks Suz for the link!

14 years ago

nicoleb

(website)

Veteran

Hugs for you. I grew up with A LOT of food allergies when i was young and it was always frustrating because people didn't really "get it". However i think there is much more awareness out there now days. My husband is head chef at a restaurant and gluten free requests are pretty common. I love Michelle's suggestion about bringing something. I think this is a great idea and like she said, next time they may even ask YOU what they can make that you can eat. Hang in there!

14 years ago

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

Cyan, I've just finished writing big response and then my browser crashed

Which leaves me trying to mention only the gist of what I was lamenting about:

Seems to me that for some reason you feel one of the following: either that you'll miss out on many treats because of your new diet (true) or that you'll cause inconvenience with your dietary needs (possible, but irrelevant) or you'll be left out without any choice (possible, but irrelevant) or that you'll be some sort of outcast at any social event (not true, unless you chose to feel that way).

You are new to the diet and probably haven't fully experienced the benefits of it, it's early. Although, with GF diet, the effects should become very obvious very quickly.

I can only speak about GF diet, I've been diagnosed 6 years ago and have never looked back.

Yes, it's hard to ask for GF and yes, many places haven't heard of such requests, but look at it this way - you have full control of what makes your body work at its best. You are blesses with the diagnosis and - to be honest - very, very easy guidelines how to go about that. There are alternatives for almost everything nowadays.

My social life never suffered. Family have been very understanding, so did my friends. When they invite us over, there's always something especially for me if the main dish is not suitable - I appreciate this and I also know I'd do exactly the same for them.

I often offer to bring something as well, just to ease the burden on the hosts.

Being GF is relatively easy if you approach it that way. For me it definitely was, as I cook everything from the scratch anyway.

I am even considering to try DF purely to try what effects that might have on my general well-being.

As I said, you are new to the whole special diet thing but give it some time and you won't even think about it. Especially when you start feeling true effects of the change.

If you need any info, feel free to PM me. In my case GF diet has been nothing but a blessing.

14 years ago

Saretta

(website)

Active Member

Cyan, I totally understand what you are going through.

I am genetically gluten-intolerant and, as a result, have developed an intolerance to lactose, so I have been living GF and DF for about two years now. At first it can be very confusing. You want to eat, but all of your old favorites are suddenly no-nos. Food is very much tied up in comfort, habit and love, so it's not easy to make such a radical change in your diet. Not easy on a practical level - like, so what am I going to eat now?! And, not easy emotionally. It's no fun being "different" at the table, it's no fun having to explain it over and over again to everyone, it's no fun watching others eat your fav foods, while you can't.

I have also found that people's reaction to my food needs has a strong emotional impact on me. I am always so touched and amazed when friends take the trouble to prepare things I can eat. On the contrary, although I know it is a bother to think about and accomodate special food needs, it still hurts that when my sister-in-law invites me over she always says, "bring your own food."

Know that it all gets easier with time and will become your "normal" after a while. There are lots of great sites online with recipes and support. Check out http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/ and http://realsustenance.com/ to start.

Hang in there!

14 years ago

bran888

Active Member

Hi Cyan,

I also eliminated dairy from my diet for quite some time in an attempt to clear up my skin...it did help quite a bit in my opinion. What I find works for me now (which may or may not work for others) is to just not worry about it when I'm out with friends, but to keep my refrigerator (and pantry and cabinets) dairy free. For instance, last night, I had a total binge of pizza and ice cream while out with friends. In my experience, there won't be major repercussions for my skin unless I eat dairy daily for several days. So I'll be a little more careful than usual in the next few days because of last night's meal. That keeps things reasonable for me.

Another thing to think about is that if you're not actually lactose intolerant (as I am not), staying 100 percent dairy free for a long period of time might mean that your body stops producing dairy-digesting enzymes and you will effectively become lactose intolerant.

I also personally don't find that gluten has an impact on my skin. I eat all of the wheat that I want with no noticeable effects. Have you been officially tested? I think with elimination diets, it's best to eliminate one thing at a time. You have to give it 2-3 weeks to see if it's working (and probably best to stay 100% off of whatever you're eliminating initially). These days, avoiding dairy isn't that hard. Lactose intolerance is extremely common.

Good luck and don't worry It will get easier!

14 years ago

cyan45

Active Member

thank you everyone so much for your encouragement! yesterday went very well, and
my fiance's mom made roast chicken, rice and steamed veggies for me (and it satisfied a craving she was having, lol).

my laptop battery is about to die, but just wanted to express my gratitude and apologies for whining. i am still adjusting to the lifestyle...

many thanks,
lisa

14 years ago

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