OT: gift giving and receiving situation

let me explain my situation. My DH has known this couple for number of years and he is, while not best friends, fairly good friends with them. We have gone out number of times with them over the last few years and their little girl was flower girl at my wedding. There is one fly in the oitment. DH had always given them a Christmas gift(usually something for the whole family) and individual birthday gifts(not anything major, usually a GC or something) but they have NEVER given anything to us, nor have they ever thanked me or DH for anything we gave them or even mentioned it for that matter. I can't help but feel that this is a rather rude behavior. DH sort of shruggs his shoulders about the whole thing "well, that's just how they are" but I am starting to have an issue with why should we bother give them anything if they don't seem to care?

I guess my question is what is the appropriate etiquette regarding gifts? Do you think I am overeacting here or not? I am not expecting anything material in return from them but I think at least them acknowledging a gift would be nice

13 years ago

Anonymous

I think they should be sending some kind of thank you but has your DH ever thought that perhaps they don't want the gift??? I think they sound uncomfortable with the gifts and don't want to reciprocate? Therefore he should end it, my thoughts, FWIW

missvee

Veteran

I think it's clear that they do not wish to exchange gifts, so I agree that you should end the practice. You might still like to give their daughter a little treat for Christmas, but otherwise, I think the wisest thing is to say nothing and just stop buying gifts.

MsMary

I think that if your DH is doing all the work of actually picking, wrapping, and delivering the gifts, and if the cost isn't much of an issue for your household budget, then you should let him knock himself out and stay out of it. If he is expecting you to do the work, then you should politely explain that you are not feeling it and he is free to do it himself... or not.

And yes, of course they are being rude. But that's not really the issue.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

I agree with MaryK. Why make it a point of contention in your relationship. They are being rude but if your DH doesn't mind that and they have other redeeming qualities that give the friendship value, then let him run with it.

Easier said than done I know.

Aziraphale

What MaryK said.

christieanne

For the next year, see if DH would be ok with giving the little girl a gift for her birthday/Christmas and maybe some kind of family treat at Christmas such as a tin of cookies, etc that isn't so personal. They may be uncomfortable with the gifts or just oblivious to the situation. I wouldn't want to hurt the friendship but cutting everything off altogether or making a big deal out of it.

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