What laura65 said - the key factor is whether you feel like yourself when you're with someone, and do they bring out the best in you?

I've had the butterflies, and not had the butterflies, and I can tell you it's a completely random thing. Has not been a useful indicator to me at all - I blame pheromones. Perhaps they're triggered by some kind of genetic compatibility, but that's no use if you want a partner who is fun and caring and likes you just the way you are

Tam, this is not at all a silly question.

To echo Kristen -- for me, it was all about the talking: wanting to hear what S.O. thought about things, wanting to tell him what I was thinking about. It took me 15 years in a marriage with someone who never wanted to talk before I realized how much that meant to me. And now that I have it, I never take it for granted.

Also, as others have said, with S.O. I never have to be someone I'm not. I don't have to pretend that I love parties, stadium rock concerts, and football games. It's okay that I would rather read than watch the Superbowl. When someone actually appreciates the things about you that you have always thought made you "not normal," it's intoxicating.

Hmm so being comfortable and being able to talk is important too. Makes perfect sense Thanks guys!!!