OT: DH always being recruted into network marketing

there is a person from my DH's family who always joins various network marketing things and pushes my husband to sigh up too. We are not talking about asking but pushing over and over, until he says yes. Incidentally, none of these things ever made money for anyone and last time he approached my DH, it was an actual scam that someone recruited him for(this relative had no idea, he thought it was legitimate but I did some research on this and even called BBB and various consumer protection agencies and they all told me that it was a scam and they are aware of it). At the time, it took a long time(and lot of arguing) for me to convince DH not to join this scheme(and not to pay a large amount of money towards it)

However, DH has a hard time saying no to people and especially someone from his family. Just yesterday, this relative approached him again with yet, another pyramid scheme. I am really tired of it and upset quite frankly and don't know what to do. Yes, its up to DH to say no but it always involves large amounts of money being invested into these things. I know that not all network marketing is bad and some of it is perfectly legit but I am just tired of him saying yes to this person all the time(mostly because he feels bad saying no).
I want to say something to this person, to the tune of "please don't push my DH to get involved into these things anymore" but I don't want to create some conflict. I would really appreciate advice

13 years ago

MNsara

Veteran

Yikes! Family and finances are both tricky, potentially sensitive areas!

Does your husband really *want* to say 'no'? If he does, then it might be a matter of coming up with solid wording AND repeating it over and over to the persistent relative.

If he doesn't, then it sounds like you're fighting an uphill battle and you may need to put together the hard, cold numbers that show the history spent on past "ideas", and sit down with DH to calmly, rationally discuss.

A few real numbers on $$$ spent to date and no $ to show for it should probably go into the prepared wording for the relative also. The wording should be supportive of their entreprenurial drive (or some other postive aspect of it), yet very firm that you can no longer afford to be part of these great 'possibilities'. Supposedly you don't need to divulge a reason to people, but IRL that's sometimes hard to do, so practice this in front of a mirror if needed.

So, I agree that your husband should be the voice of reason to his own relative here, unless he specifically turns that over to you :-\

Anonymous

Been there a few times! My hubby has lived and learned. Sometimes when we have said all we can say we just have to bite our tongue and let them make mistakes - and pray that they learn from them. Sometimes it's painful to go through the consequences, but he has to learn for himself how to say no and mean it.

I think if it is joint money you have the right to 'put your foot down'.

Also, the older I get, (41) or maybe the longer I am part of his family, the less I worry about causing a ruckus, especially if it doesn't work for me. This person is targeting your DH as they know he will say yes.

I think it is the same as any other "hobbie" and should be budgeted for. If you and your husband agree that a certain amount of money could be available for these schemes then you wouldn't have to worry about it any more. It is also possible that it would relieve your husband feeling obligated because he would have an excuse of "that isn't in our budget right now". or "I have already met my allotted amound for investment this year".

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