Louise, I very much understand, especially since you are working around kids. I really have to wash my hair every day, even though it's short - I just feel greasy and my skin starts breaking out on the 2nd day without washing.
I rotate between a Redken shampoo for color-treated hair and a gentle Alba shampoo that doesn't cause too much dryness, and though my hair is short, I still use conditioner for color-treated hair a few times a week. I try to dry sans-hair dryer as much as I can - wrapping my hair in a towel to absorb water, sitting around and fluff-drying my hair with my fingers. I still have to apply heat to give it some shape, but I trry to be gentle.
A while back I tried to go every other day without washing while using a dry shampoo spray on the days when I didn't wash my hair. As long as I showered once a day and really washed my face well, that was okay - but I still feel cleaner & fresher if I start the day with freshly washed hair.