OT: Boys are dumb - YouLookFab Forum

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OT: Boys are dumb

Maya

Veteran

I actually find this amusing but I guess it's also pretty sad:

I got a text message late last night from a guy asking if I had any Valentine's day plans. Since I will be with Angie, I said I'm busy until evening but free after that. I didn't think it was necessary to ask why he would want to know if I had plans. I thought it was obvious!

His response: "Oh it's ok, I was just trying to unload a concert ticket but I found a taker already."

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28 replies

Latest reply was from marianna

Debbie

Veteran

What an insensitive idiot.

Christie

I'm sorry, Maya!

Good for you to see some humor in it though.

Have a lovely time with Angie!

marianna

Veteran

OMGGG. Not cool at all.

But, um, Angie is the BEST Valentine's Day date ever. How lucky are you!

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

Wow, he's got issues. But take heart, Maya, not ALL boys are dumb like that. I snagged a fabulous catch, but not until after I'd experienced a few losers.
You will have a wonderful time with Angie, and cats make great cozy dates too.

Maya

Veteran

It's not so terrible. I don't put much stock into Valentine's day and am not a really mushy or romantic person. It just would have been nice to actually go out and have fun. But I'm doing that anyway, so no harm done It was just sort of insulting...

Kristine

Veteran

Well, maybe he just said that! Maybe you crushed his hopes, so he thought of an excuse that didn't make it sound like he was going to ask for a date.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I wondered the same thing that Kristine said...
anyhow, it was insensitive of him regardless. I'm sorry that happened Maya- enjoy your time with Angie though... I'm so jealous

Louise

Veteran

x

Maya

Veteran

Ha, Kristine, one of my friends suggested that theory. But I can't be bothered psychoanalyzing guys. I know too many women who waste too much time considering all the "maybes."

My theory is if you like me, quit being a wuss and just say so! Otherwise, I'm not wasting my time trying to analyze your every little move. I've got better things to do.

joyinindo

I am with Kristine, when I read what he said I immediately thought that he was trying to save face and his fragile male ego.

I agree with you Maya, he should quit being a wuss and step up and say how he feels...but the male ego is a funny thing...far more fragile that I would have ever thought!

Hang in there!! It sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders!
Blessings,
Joy

judy

Veteran

"My theory is if you like me, quit being a wuss and just say so! Otherwise, I'm not wasting my time trying to analyze your every little move. I've got better things to do."

Maya, that is SO smart. Second guessing is such a huge waste of time. Live your life and pursue your passions. Living that way weeds out the clueless ones.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Yes Maya, that boy is very dumb! You deserve better!

Maya

Veteran

Ahh, an update:

He says he will let me know if the other person cancels. Then he said we should get cupcakes sometime and asked what days I work. Cupcakes are my weakness :\

marianna

Veteran

Oooh Maya, this boy likes you!

I love cupcakes. Red velvet is my favorite...

Anonymous

It sounds like he wanted a date with you during the day and when it became obvious that you were busy with someone else, he just blurted out something and unfortunately it sounded pretty dumb!

I'm trying to give the guy a break I guess. I'm just glad I'm done with the dating years. Things like this we just don't need, right?

It does sound like you have a secret admirerer though! Poor guy is probably shy.

Debora

Veteran

Maya, this is actually sort of sweet. He's either very, very clueless or got cold feet at the last minute. Go with him for cupcakes. At the very least, you'll have a pleasurable afternoon with a friend and get to know each other better.

Lena

Sounds like he tried to save face and backpedaled in panic. Oh boys, the stupid dumb insulting things you do when insecure.

Maya, good for you for not spending time and effort analyzing and second guessing. Have a wonderful time with Angie! And if he invites you for cupcakes, go if you feel like it.

Maya

Veteran

This isn't the first time this has happened actually. A couple of years ago he asked to do the exact same thing--cupcakes--probably because he knows what a cupcake fiend I am, and I'm not going to say no. Anyway, a few days later I got a message that I should consider them Valentine's day cupcakes! But we didn't end up going until April (I was still in school and very busy and so was he), and I figured he had just forgotten by then and I didn't care enough to mention it. He can't seem to say anything like that to me face to face, it always comes through a text or an IM or Facebook post. Perhaps I'm just mean and unsympathetic and he is just very shy.

Well at any rate, I told him what days I am in NY so the ball is in his court. We'll see how it goes.

Marianna, red velvet cupcakes are sooo good....but soooo bad if you're trying to lose weight! I figured if I end up going, I think we'll have to just buy one cupcake and share. How disgustingly cute, right.

Debora

Veteran

Sounds like the interest is definitely there on his part!

judy

Veteran

Oh that is cute! I do think he likes you. And it does sound like he's kind of shy. Let's face it, we're all a little clueless when it comes to this subject, aren't we? Shy guys are pretty sweet. Enjoy your cupcakes!

Kristine

Veteran

Mmm hmm, he definitely likes you. The question about Valentines day was probably to figure out if you were dating anyone.

Vani

Veteran

Aw, the boy likey you Maya! Most boys are shy and clueless when it comes to asking a girl out. Go get the cupcake and have fun! Us girls need disgustingly cute from time to time in our lives

Queen Mum

Veteran

aww, he sounds really shy and not sure how to go about all this kindof cute I think....

Ele

(website)

Maya, I love this thread. Mainly because you said that you think women spend too much time analyzing men's actions/motives, and I'm pretty sure the (now 24) responses to your story prove that! I'm not being hard on everyone- I just think it's hilarious

I agree with everyone else- poor shy guy chickened out.

Oh, and now you have me wanting to bake cupcakes today- thanks a lot!

shana

Veteran

Well, my question is - are YOU interested? I've never been one to sit around and wait for a man to ask me out. If he's shy, why don't you make the first move and ask HIM out???

Maya

Veteran

I'm not interested in any relationships at all right now. This is yet another symptom of unemployment. It cripples everything from my friendships to my love life. Thankfully I have never been one to feel lonely or depressed when single, but I realize it's rather abnormal to be single for as long as I have been. I'm sure one day I will be a lonely old cat lady and wonder why I didn't seize upon my youth to snag a nice guy.

I just always feel like I already have enough to deal with, and relationships are too much work that I frankly don't feel like putting in. I don't know why I think of relationships as work instead of fun like most normal people. I guess I am just selfish. If I lived closer and had spending money to go out and have a great time without being stressed out, I'd probably be more receptive. Right now, how in the world do I maintain this relationship? Let's go back to my parents' house in Tumbleweed, NJ and watch a movie? Commute to Brooklyn on top of my already exhausting commute? Uh, I don't think so. No point in dangling a carrot in front of him.

I'm not even sure I'm convinced he still likes me, although everyone else is. I don't know WHY he would like me--I rarely even see him.

Now that all of you are aware of my psychological issues, I shall conclude...

Maya

Veteran

And the verdict is: Insensitive and clueless!

(We went out this weekend and that is the conclusion I have made. Ah well.)

marianna

Veteran

I guess your subject line on this thread was spot on. Boys are dumb.