OT - Another update - YouLookFab Forum

Hi all,

Sorry to disappear again. I'm now a couple of weeks short of going home, and I'm in such a flurry of last minute projects and adventures and packing that I don't know where my head is.

The truth is, I've never felt so unsettled and uncertain in my life. First of all, I'm going "home" to a home that hasn't really been mine for the past 6 years. I've been a transient visitor, and the last time i truly lived there I feel like I was still a child. Now to think that I have to push the reset button and recreate myself in that space, as who I am right now -- well, it's a weird feeling.

The second thing is that while I'm happy to be going home to my family... my boyfriend and I will face a long-distance relationship for the first time in over 3 years we've been together. I hate to sound clingy, but I've been in two long distance relationships before, both of which left me dumped and devastated, and while it oversimplifies what I have now to say he's just the same as the others -- he's SO not -- I am a little freaked. That, and I'll just flat out miss him.

The third thing is that I still don't have a job. I've sent out countless resumes and jazzy cover letters for the past couple of months, and yet, nothing. I know I should be patient, but I suppose I was cocky and thought my overseas degree and work experience would count for something when clearly, I'm just like every other candidate. And that SUCKS, because I can't remember the last time I was so consistently and constantly rejected or just IGNORED.

I know I am not the first person to have these woes on the forum (I certainly hope I'll be the last though!), but combined with this big move and all these changes happening in my life, there is somehow this feeling that I'm losing my mind slowly but surely, and I'm trying to anchor myself to...well...myself, somehow. I guess I'm hoping typing all this up will help.

Thanks for reading the rambles. I will get back to posting probably once I am home in Malaysia, and hopefully when my life is not quite such a mess.

15 years ago

Srujana

Veteran

Wish you oodles and oodles of luck with EVERYTHING, Hanna! Just remember to breathe and believe that the best will happen...its amazing how much a positive frame of mind can affect the things around you! *hugs*

Maya

I'm sorry you're going through such turmoil times Hanna. That's a lot of chaos to deal with for anyone. How long do you think you will be staying in Malaysia? How is your mom doing?

It seems like a lot of us on the forum are or have been going through difficult times. You, me, Marianna, Jean, Tanya, Shiny...just to name a few. But I think all of us will emerge better off and stronger for it. I totally sympathize with the feeling of being ignored and rejected, and it really really sucks. I wish I knew what to say to make it better. You me and Marianna all seem to be in the same boat. Let's stick together and support each other...

Tanya

Oh Hanna, I am so sorry to hear all of this. It is really a lot you are dealing with and I can only imagine everything you must be going through. Sending you a huge hug and thinking of you.

Lena

Active Member

Hanna, hang in there. I can easily imagine myself in a similar situation (I easily forget that my "official home" is another country).

I really don't have any wise advice. I think global economy is a totally new animal now. But if you stay persistent (which is REALLY hard, I know!) and get your foot in the door somewhere, you'll end up in very good position later. Really, hang in there, I'm sure there's an employer in Malaysia who will value your skills and experience. You just didn't meet each other yet.

Thanks for updating us, Hanna. Best wishes to your Mom, too

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Long distance relationships are hard and I can't sugar coat that for you, Hanna. Moving is also a very stressful process and unfortunately there's only one way to get through it - and that's to just get through it.

But I'm pretty sure that your flair will shine through on the job front once you're back home, especially with the support of your loving family. Keep that pretty little chin up and never say die. Good luck and keep us posted. Hope that Mum is doing okay. She must be so excited to have her baby back home :0)

Just wanted to wish you safe travels and I hope the job front will be favorable when you get there. Take it one day at a time. When the days seem tough, remember why you made this decision in the first place and have a cup of tea with your mom. Hugs to you, Hanna.

marianna

Long distance relationships *are* very very hard. My boyfriend and I are on-and-off long distance and when we're apart we fight a ton and it's bad (when we're together everything is great). Would your boyfriend consider moving with you?

Let me know if you feel up for the Chicago meet-up... I'm back in town and unemployment leaves me very bored.

Louise

I can't add anything hanna just wanted to send (((hugs))) x

Kristen

Oh, hanna. Big hugs headed your way!

LoP

Hanna, so many changes are happening at the same time in your life and it sure is a hard period. Just think that it is going to come to an end and like everything things will reach a steady state. And breathe deeply as you tackle one thing at a time!

Hugs and positive thoughts from San Diego!

Anonymous

More hugs! It's not easy to go back home because you will always be the child to your parents. You and your boyfriend both have Skype, right? It has saved my sanity with a son living in Japan. The time difference is a problem, but make a "date" with your boyfriend to chat every day. Best for your relationship might be your morning, his evening, unless he's talkative in the morning.

Dawn

I'm sending a ridiculous amount of hugs your direction, Hanna. Best of luck with your move and finding another job.

Long distance relationshop are tough but they are manageable. Find little routines such a time you talk at everyday or one night a week when you can spend two or three hours on Skype as a date. Emails, IMs and letters also work quite well. Just remember to talk about your feelings with each other and work through problems together. Making plans for your next meet-up will also help you through the initial pain. *hugs*

chellebrate

I'm sorry. Good luck with the move and all that entails. Smooth transition & relationship vibes coming your way.

Debbie

Lots of hugs to you. I hope everything works out well for you and your Mom. Joy is right Skype is a wonderful tool in keeping in touch. Its not the same as being there but it does help.

I think you need to stop and think about why you made the decision to do this in the first place. Try to refocus.
I wish you the best of luck, and a good beginning. You are a shining star that a jazzy cover letter just cannot show. To know you is to love you.
You are indeed leaving behind your life to begin again and will have the same trials as other beginners, only you have the edge of having experience and being such a special personality who people like to gravitate towards. I know you will do well in your new place in life.

yublocka

Oh Hanna you have so much going on! I hope you make it through the next few weeks ok!! What are you and bf planning on doing eventually...is this a temporary move back home? Will he come visit? I'll have everything crossed for you in your job hunt too!!

hanna

thank you so much to everyone for your comments! it is so nice to have a cheerleading section :).

in answer to some of you, bf has been working as long as i have here, but doesn't feel like the position he has held so far has really been a test of his qualifications. so he's trying to get a promotion. if he does get one, he'll stay until the beginning of 2012; if he doesn't, he'll stay until the lease on this apartment ends, at the beginning of 2011. i don't want him to feel like his time has been wasted, so i hope he gets it -- but a terribly selfish, teeny, itsy-bitsy part of me hopes he doesn't. i try to squash that part hard though!

AND IN OTHER, MOMENTOUS NEWS -- i woke up this morning with two email requests for interviews in my inbox. yippee!! and not to jinx it, but one of them is for a fashion writer position at the malaysian arm of a big magazine -- as in, big enough for you to recognize if i mentioned it. I AM SO EXCITED NOW! you guys must be my good luck charms :).

Wonderful news! Sending good vibes and fingers crossed for you.

Alecia

Oh, Hanna! That is wonderful news. What an amazing opportunity. Do you need references about how engaging and creative your writing is? I'm sure a bunch of us would be willing to attest to that. I know I would. I hope you'll keep us posted. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I'm glad there's a bit of light in the process now. You still have a quite a bit to tackle but I know you're up to the task. Glad you have a place to vent and get hugs. And I'm sending you some, too!

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