OT: A relaxing evening in - YouLookFab Forum

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OT: A relaxing evening in

Kari

Veteran

I'm currently hanging out on my balcony stretched out on a soft folding chair, blanket, and ottoman, glass of wine in hand, music streaming from the living room, surrounded by pleasantly scented candles and reading YLF. It's been a really stressful week at work and I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night, so I needed to lay low today. I'm wearing lounge wear and no makeup and do not look remotely stylish, but I'm feeling pretty good and am enjoying the nice warm evening. Normally I'd probably read a book to relax, but I don't have a porch light and the candles are too dim. And with the fun visuals on YLF, I'm enjoying the evening with all 5 senses.

What do you do to treat yourself when you badly need to relax, or to prevent yourself from getting over-stressed?

General

25 replies

Latest reply was from Aida

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

Sounds like a great day and a wonderful evening, Kari!

For me it's the couch, mug o' tea, lap full of dogs and a book or magazine. Alternatively, I might sit down in the grass in the yard and read under one of our big rhododendron bushes. Surrounded by dogs of course.

If the computer is on, I end up doing work related things.

Kari

Veteran

That sounds lovely, and I've actually been stretched out on the couch reading with a mug of tea all day. I'd love it if I could add a dog to the mix, but have to head over to visit my parents for some doggie love.

MNsara

Veteran

You sound like you're putting some needed separation between yourself and this past week

When I've been pushed beyond my limits, if possible, I'll take myself to a really good yoga class. Otherwise, I'll try to make myself take a short nap, hot bath, computer time (usually lots of YLF reading), or even mindless shopping.

Kari

Veteran

MNsara, yes, I am certainly trying! Work is really sapping my patience and energy lately, and I'm tired of being stressed most of the time.

Actually some of my coworkers take a hot yoga class together that I've participated in a few times, and they're trying to encourage me to start again. I like that you mentioned that yoga de-stresses you as well. For me, that particular hot yoga class is pretty intense - 90 minutes long and it's far from an introductory class - but you come away feeling so physically exhausted that you *have* to be relaxed. I should try it again.

Yeah, I think that my impulse shopping has increased along with my work-related stress for the past 6 months. And stress eating, too. I'm trying to replace those with healthier habits!

MNsara

Veteran

Hot yoga would be great (love hot yoga!!), but it doesn't have to be hot - just good IYKWIM. And a 90-min class should be more relaxing than a 60-min class.

You can borrow my line that I tell myself when I don't feel like going to a class: I've never felt bad after a yoga class, I always feel better

Kari

Veteran

I like your philosophy, MNSara.

At this point, I've been out of the exercise groove for so long and have been feeling run-down and exhausted for so many months that I just need a kick in the pants to get active again. I know I won't have more energy if I'm not working out... but I'm also really drained at the end of the day and am generally too tired to move. It's kind of a self-perpetuating cycle, but I'd like to get active again now that my health situation is starting to improve.

Elly

Veteran

Kari, I don't know if this would work for you, but when I am out of the exercise groove I always try to do one of two things:

1. Join a class or commit to be a workout buddy to a friend (even if it is just for a few times).

2. Hire a trainer for a couple of sessions spread out over a few weeks.

I can completely relate right now. I haven't exercised in several months after loosing my gym and then having my new one close for repairs for almost a month. I'm not feeling well and not sleeping well. Not having a job is getting to me and I have been having more problems with managing my health. On top of that, my current living situation isn't ideal because of the way duties are currently split and a complete lack of privacy. Your patio sounds like heaven! Can I come visit?

I just really need to get this job!

Kari

Veteran

Elly, pull up a chair! There's just enough room for two. (I live in an apartment so my 8" x 8" patio is the only outdoor space I have.)

A lot of what you're going through resonates with me - when I've been unemployed my confidence and self-care tended to really spiral down the tubes. Rather than trying to find uplifting and interesting things to do, I've tended to sink into despair and withdraw from everybody. For nearly two years my boyfriend was either unemployed or working in very uninteresting contract jobs that he hated, and though he has a more upbeat approach to life and was more optimistic than I was while I was unemployed, it was hard to watch his confidence suffer. At different times, before we moved in together recently, unemployment or under-employment forced both of us to have to move back into each of our parents' homes for a couple years, and the lack of privacy (not to mention the sense of shame that I couldn't "make it on my own") was hard.
This year insomnia and depression have hit me especially hard, so I've spent the last several months feeling pretty crappy and drained and really relate to not feeling good for long periods of time, though I know you also have some other serious issues that you're dealing with health-wise.
I hope that things improve for you, Elly. Big hugs to you. Please don't give up on your wonderful self. We're all here for you.

cciele

Veteran

I raise my glass to you Kari! We all definitely need some de-stress time, and so glad you are able to take some for yourself.

Know what you guys mean about the exercise thing. I definitely need to get back into it (it's been, uh, several years?).

Kari

Veteran

I'm pretty disgusted at myself, because from January through March I was SO GOOD about eating healthy, working out nearly every day, and tracking it all religiously on Weight Watchers. Life (and health struggles) got in the way. But I'll get back on track.

Cathy, that pinging sound you hear was me clinking my glass against yours.

Kari

Veteran

(Awww, drat - now it's raining! Inside I go.)

Louise

Veteran

Hope next week is less stressful for you x

My favourite way to destress before bed is a Lush bubble bath https://phoenix.lush.co.uk/category/253 with a face mask and intensive hair conditioner. Then hop into bed, in which I earlier put a hot water bottle with my PJ's around it so they are snuggly and warm and watch catch up TV ah bliss, I know what I'm doing tonight x

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Cheers, Kari! That sounds blissful despite the rain. Autumn is here.

I really hope that your sleeping patterns realign. Life never looks as good when you are sleep deprived.

My #1 way to relax: tea, chocolate (or ice cream or cake), hubby and doggies all piled up on the couch with a blanket watching something thrillng on the tele.

Kari

Veteran

Louise, I haven't taken a bubble bath in a long time, but I'm a huge fan of relaxing in a warm bath with a good book. (I keep a towel on hand so I don't get the pages wet.) Alternatively I'll stream a movie on my laptop and place it on a table in view of the tub.

Angie, that sounds like a perfect evening, doggies and all! Sleeping patterns are mostly back to normal, but this weekend was a bit of a fluke.

MNsara

Veteran

Oh, don't forget candles when you're in the tub! (PSA about avoiding glass holders and watching for flames w/ shower curtain, etc.), but it is LOVELY to watch a streamed movie or read in the tub, lit by candlelight, with a glass of wine. (This helped me thru some tough times with DHs broken back.)

Also a little treat I like is to allow myself to fall asleep while watching TV (NOT in the tub!). Those mini naps help me make the transition from full-steam-ahead to a more normal pace.

I'd talk to your Dr for help with sleeping and depression. There are definitely circumstantial periods of depression and/or insomnia that we go through. Some help is better than none!!

Don't get casual about those things that are always key to feeling better: good nutrition, enough sleep, and exercise (and for me, -- vitamins).

nancylee

Veteran

Your evening sounds lovely. When I'm stressed, I relax in a nice long bath. Hope the week ahead is easier for you.

san

Veteran

My Dear Kari,
You are the most bubbly, caring, interesting, smiling, gregarious, fun, attractive, smart, motivated young woman I've ever come across. You inspire me tremendously. You've got it going on!

Elly

Veteran

Kari! Thanks!

Sending you a big hug and smile and hoping that you enjoyed your de-stress and are able to make some changes that might start helping you feel better.

I appreciate your commiseration. Unemployment is really a pain in the behind. I've dealt with it before, but usually only short term because of various student-employment options. In October I will be done with my year-long house sitting gig since the owners will be returning and I will probably be moving in with mom and dad unless I can find something soon. Rent is just too expensive in my area without a good income (900-1200 for a studio or one bedroom, 500 for a room in a house with 4-5 roommates). That is ok because I am grateful for my parent's generosity and we generally get along, but even living in a separate house they do pretty well at destroying my sense of privacy and space-- which can be hard after living 800 miles away for a good 3 years. I completely related to feeling low confidence right now.

You are welcome to come enjoy my big back yard (both the house I live in and my parents have an acre with trees and fruit trees) but you might have to put up with nearly naked neighbor sightings or my father coming crashing through the bushes after climbing my fence while pretending to be a werewolf.

Take care!

Kari

Veteran

MNSara, thanks for your concern. Fortunately, my doctor (and counselor too) are already well involved, and our plan for recovery seems to be working pretty well - but it's a long haul, and work has not been restful by any means. Kind of hard to keep balanced with the wellness things that I know I need to stay/get healthy when I'm frantically spinning my wheels during the day! But little by little, it's getting better.

San, those are some of the kindest, sweetest compliments I've ever received. Thanks a million, and huge hugs to you. I'm so sorry we won't be seeing you at the next YLF gathering. It's been too long since I met up with you in person!

tarzy

Veteran

Just checking in to see how you're doing today. I hope your relaxation session worked a little bit of magic. I agree with the others that you are a very special, wonderful, interesting person. And quite fashionable, of course. Hope you are doing well!

Kari

Veteran

Tara, you are so sweet. I am doing very well so far this week. Cooked meals both nights for me and my boyfriend, and ate dinner by candlelight with wine and music, which is another good way to relieve the tension. I'm not the handiest person in the kitchen and haven't had energy to do much cooking lately, so I'd say I'm feeling pretty good!

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

Kari, the description of your evening sounded divine. I like to sit outside in a covered area on a warm day and watch the rain. The smell is so refreshing and it feel cathartic. I hope you have a few beautiful scented plants scattered around to add to the mood.

I sympathize and empathize with you. Sometimes it feels that the stress builds up starts to feel insurmountable. I have been running off and on for about 5 years and find it helps immensely when I am dealing with high stress situations (read as a difficult person at work). I remember one particular day a few years ago that my mind was racing at an unbelievable pace and I felt consumed by the issue at hand. I went for a run and within 15 minutes I had a plan and my mind was calm.

I have been thinking it is time to start again. I am the world's slowest runner (5.25 mph) even though I am a very fast walker but I don't care. I use the Running Room run/walk program which is easier on the joints and muscles. I like to follow that up with a soak in a tub with a book or magazine. Love my new soaker tub.

I saw an inspirational speaker years ago who suggested giving a big smile to everyone you see if you are feeling down or blue. He said it is the natural response for people to return a smile and that seeing all of the smiles naturally improves how you feel and your attitude. Try it and see how many smiles you get back. It may be fake initially but will soon turn to real enjoyment.

Hang in there and please keep posting those awesome outfits because I get a pick-me-up feeling every time I see your beautiful outfits and your infectious smile.

kimlee

Veteran

Kari, I am sending you big hugs and healing thoughts and prayers. I hope that work is less stressful for you in the coming days.

Carole

Veteran

Kari, so sorry you are going through a rough patch ( why does life have to be so hard). It sounds like you are getting the help you need and finding ways to cope. Wine, music and covered decks in the warm weather; doesn't get much better than that, I know because that is exactly my happy place, too.

I have struggled on and off with insomnia and know how exhausting and stressful that is. Depression has been an unwelcome visitor too. I firmly believe that these are signals that something needs to change within or in our circumstances. Sounds like you are making progress. Thinking of you and sending you a big HUG.

Aida

Veteran

(*hugs to you Kari!* Glad to hear you are finding ways to relax. If you ever want to go out for tea or dinner or anything, let me know! ^^)