On Wearing Black ;) - YouLookFab Forum

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On Wearing Black ;)

Deborah

Veteran

Hi Fabbers

As you know I wear black... a lot! I love it. I noted today on Laura's post http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....p-on-black that a small side conversation about wearing black developed. So as not to hijack Laura's post, because I could talk about the virtues of wearing black all day;) I thought I would start a new thread.

My choice to wear black (with little to no colour) is very intentional. It ties in with my post from yesterday http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....p-on-black and is one of the elements that makes an outfit feel like me.

Some time back Odyssey shared on her blog: http://www.odysseyhome.com/201.....-tank.html "My wearing of black is not "just a phase", as a few well-meaning but misinformed friends have indicated, but rather the summation of design philosophies, sartorial intellect, and consistent aesthetics that transcend trends and challenge the rules"

And GlassOrganelle responded with:
"I don't understand why (some) people find a totally black outfit so confronting. In fact, you could even say it's the opposite. Rather than assault you with the obvious, it stands alone and suggests something deeper. "

I really enjoyed this conversation between the two bloggers and it encouraged me to futher explore more specifically what it is I love about wearing black. Not everyone wears or loves black and I totally respect that. There is another blog I enjoy that very strongly believes women over 40 shouldn't wear black. That thinking makes me sad and prevents from participating freely.

I am suprised sometimes at the strength of conviction some people have about not wearing black, not just for themselves but suggesting others shouldn't also. May I say that I have not encountered that here on the Forum. Everyone here is just so incredibly supportive and accepting of one another's style preferences and for many here on the Forum, wearing black is simply not 'you' and your style is just so fab because it's a reflection of You.

If you don't mind me singling out one of our fab members, MaryK wears colour like nobody's business. It appears to be part of her genetic style makeup:) And despite my own love of black I would never try to suggest to her that she wear more black:)

I would love to know how you feel about black and do you have views about who should and shouldn't wear it. Do you have a passive opinion or are you more militant?

And if you wear black (a little or a lot), what does it mean to you and why do you wear it?

xxxDeborah

#1 Odyssey
#2 GlassOrganelle
- for reference

PS accidently ticked the yay nay facility. Didn't mean too. Just ignore

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General

89 replies

Latest reply was from Deborah

Echo

Veteran

I feel very much the way you do. I wear a lot of black, and I do so intentionally. I am over 40, and I do not feel it is aging or unflattering or inappropriate for me or anyone else due to age alone. Like you, I would never suggest someone else wear more black. Others need to make their sartorial decisions just as I have made mine, and my place is not to judge them, most especially not based on their colour/s of choice.

Sadly, however, you are right that there are many people who judge those who wear black. Indeed, I encountered it for the first time on this forum today. Regardless, I like the look for myself, and I will continue to wear black.

Gigi

Veteran

I don't wear a lot of black, but I do wear some. I guess I don't feel that strongly about it one way or the other. One thing your post made me wonder about, though: Why is black the only color that seems to be chosen by people who wear all one color (or mostly one color)? For instance, I've never run into anyone who wears only white or only red or only green (although I did run into someone who wears only purple!)...it seems like black is the only shade that receives this special treatment. Any idea why this is? Does black portray something that other colors don't? (I'm not being negative; I honestly want to know!)

Diana

Veteran

I love black and it's an integral part of my style. It's pretty effortless for me. I don't feel bad about it, nor do I feel judged for it. I can honestly say I've never experienced any negative judgment for wearing black.
However, I do have the advantage of having dark hair and being East Asian. Having naturally black hair means that black always looks natural on me, and the image of Asian girls wearing black is so ubiquitous and expected it's almost a cliche. So maybe that is why nobody really bats an eyelash.

Deborah

Veteran

Echo I am sorry you felt that way today. You know where to find me if you need some 'wearing black' cheerleading lol

Gigi, I think that's a really intersting question. I am aware of two blogs where the bloggers only wear white! However, one of them has recently had a style shift and now wears all black.

I did find an article once on a group of individuals who do only wear one colour (not black) will see if I can find it and link for you. It was quite intersting as I recall.
EDIT: here it is

http://nymag.com/fashion/08/spring/44210/

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I do all black occasionally. I feel for me, by not doing it all the time, it heightens the impact when done.
For example, Angie rated this outfit K2K
http://noscrubs.lookfab.com/po.....er-edition

I do have a lot of black in my wardrobe though.

Deborah

Veteran

Diana you do wear black well and looking at some of your WIW pics I find myself wanting to colour my hair black:) I find black often looks very 'cohesive' on girls with black hair.

Deborah

Veteran

Anna agreed. If it's not your everyday norm, a black outfit can be particularly striking and standout.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I wear a good amount of black, although rarely head-to-toe. I love it and have no intention of banishing it from my wardrobe, although I'm not exclusively tied to it. I like all shades of grey and blue, white, and some brown and taupe neutrals as well, but black has always been my favorite.

It really grates on me when anyone makes a blanket statement like "any women over x years of age should never wear y." For one thing, when is the last time you heard that argument about a man's style choices?

But anyway, I enjoy wearing black because 1) so many interesting garments are made in black, 2) it helps ground an outfit and balances my dark hair, 3) it is easier to work with than many other neutrals, 4) it doesn't show dirt and stains so easily, 5) yes, it *can* be slimming, 6) it can add some edge or sophistication to a look, depending on how it is used and what you're going for, 7) it can be a great canvas for interesting accessories, and 8) I just plain like it. It is definitely part of my style persona.

I would never tell a woman who doesn't like black that she should wear it. We should all wear colors we love. I feel strongly that black is right for me, but respect that we all have different style goals.

I love Odyssey's style (hasn't seen the other until now). I think it suits her really well.

Adelfa

Veteran

I wear a fair amount of black and I love it. I "discovered" it as a high schooler and it felt so amazing, after growing up with a lot of browns. I feel chic in black and yes, like myself.

That said, one of my style goals when I came here was to wear fewer black tops. I wore one every day and I suspected I was in a rut. I no longer have a huge collection of black tees and sweaters, just one or two of each.

The other thing I discovered is that I don't live in NYC, and in the cultural contexts I've been a part of (agricultural, somewhat unsophisticated), wearing lots of black sometimes sends messages that I don't want to send. I got feedback that my clothes were depressing. Or that they were severe. I didn't really agree--I thought I looked good, and I didn't trust the judgment of those making the comments--but I had to listen to what these clients and colleagues were telling me.

It doesn't really work to be treating lower socioeconomic people for depression and anxiety if they think your black clothes are a downer (they specifically objected to the color). And it doesn't help develop relationships with colleagues if your clothes are so far out of the mainstream that they feel uncomfortable. I decided that an attitude of "I know what looks good on me and I'm going to wear it" was not the attitude I wanted to adopt.

Thus began my never-ending quest to find a way of dressing that makes me seem warmer and more approachable, while still feeling like me. I have mentioned this many times on the forum.

Now I'm in Los Angeles, but again, in the circles I'm in black isn't big, except for workout wear, so I don't expect to be adding a ton of black back in. I still wear it. Sometimes charcoal

Gaylene

Veteran

Ah, BLACK, let me count the ways I love you:

You make me feel sexy, powerful, and very female when I wear you in silk and lace.

You make me feel edgy and slightly dangerous when I wear you in leather.

You make me feel sober, reflective, and a bit austere when I wear you in wool, especially paired with white.

You make me feel playful and happy as a cotton top that goes with every pair of shorts in my wardrobe.

You make me feel elegant when I wear you in cashmere.

You make feel polished and in control when you emerge unfazed as the perfect little black jersey dress from my suitcase ready to take on a day of sight-seeing or a evening at a restaurant.

You make me feel bold, dramatic, and avant garde when I wear you draped, cut, and textured in a vest or asymmetrical shape.

And, last, but not least, you are perfectly willing to serve as a backdrop for other diva items who clamor for the spotlight.

I couldn't live without you.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I wear a lot of black. I like how graphic, stark, and simple it is, and how that can showcase texture and structure. I tried color and quit. Not to say that I don't wear any color - I do, and I especially love Liberty prints (which always make AGybe gag) - but unless you consider black, white, gray, and denim to be colors, my wardrobe is mostly color-free.

Deborah

Veteran

Janet, thanks for outlines why you enjoy wearing black. Definitely so many interesting garments and stylings seem to be created in black. I like how black contrasts with my blond hair:) On the poin of being slimming, I am wearing a column of black today with a touch of navy and I bumped into someone I know today who insisted I had lost weight:) I can only attibute it to my outfit. The question of edge is interesting as I find very few colours bring edge to an outfit like black. If you have time scroll through GlassOrganelle's blog. She is a fellow Aussie and she has some leather jackets that you will just love.

Deborah

Veteran

Adelpha, IK and Gaylene I will be back. Cross posted. Finishing work and out for a couple of hours but will check in when I get back. Really enjoying your thoughts.

rabbit

Veteran

I wear a lot of black and always have, often with grays, sometimes with brights. It's interesting, because in my field (sculpture), there are a lot of iconic looks from women way over 40 wearing black. Louise Bourgeois left a legacy in many ways. For me a part of it is that conventional attractiveness is far less important than the beauty of strength and self. Louise Nevelson's work shows how black is the ultimate playground of shadow, when you remove color, than form and surface texture become all important (I work in almost all white for the same reason).

I like baroque painting, and how in Caravaggio's chiaroscuro paintings, figures emerge out of velvety darkness, and the light focuses and gives form to their features, so when I wear black, I'm very aware of my skin, and like how it's presented and showcased in a way. I like how a black neckline creates a portrait or cameo painting above it.

I find black itself hard to photograph if I'm looking to reveal its surfaces. My black kitten is full of glossy velvet texture and amber and blue tones in real life, but in a photo is a cutout with two green eyes. I like that black clothing is kind of one of those things you need to see with the naked eye (without professional lighting). It's part of it's magic for me.

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annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Deborah, what I want to know why as of late you have become more strident in your defense of your look?
And it's not just this posting I speak of.
Are you getting more negative feedback in real life or on here?
When I get fixated on a look, I just forge ahead doing my own thing.
For example right now I'm more interested in setting up my outdoor WIW's shots than the actually outfit itself. Even though they generate far less comments.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

People who like black and feel great in it should wear it, and wear it intentionally. And with pride. That is my militantly held view.

People who don't like black or feel horrible in it, should not wear it, is the corollary.

And people who like it in carefully calibrated doses, or who prefer other neutrals, should be able to find the fab clothes they want in those neutrals. (Or colours). Which sadly, can be quite difficult when designers make everything good in black!

Gaylene, I loved your tribute to black. It's true -- it has all those properties and more. That is why it is so hard to banish it even if it doesn't always flatter, I guess. Then again, maybe "flattery" is not the most important quality in a constant friend or lover. Maybe we want those we spend most time with to offer something deeper.

Gigi, Tom Wolfe used to wear only white suits.

Deborah, I remember that link about wearing one colour - it was a fascinating story!

I will not be wearing an all black wardrobe any time soon -- or ever. But you will be interested to learn that one of my "refinement" experiments is going to be towards more uniformity in outfits and an even more restricted palette. Not that I will banish colour -- I won't -- but I'm going to get even more selective for a while and see how that feels. So I understand the pull.

Catnip

Veteran

Black. I love it and I hate it. It makes me look tired, old and sick. It also makes me look chic, sophisticated and like a true New Yorker.

Some years ago I decided I could take advantage of both points of view. I wear black, especially black pants, but I always wear bright, flattering colors above the waist. I wear black coats, but with beautiful, flattering scarves. And I always wear dark sunglasses (as advised by my eye doctor). Black, but not totally black is my solution.

Anonymous

Until I was over 40 I can't remember wearing or owning black. I can wear it better now that my hair is grey and am enjoying it. However, it also took decades to realize that, like any color, black comes in many different tones and mine is a soft black or warm toned black rather than a deep black with blue tones.
I liked Suz's way of putting it. I believe that anyone who wants to wear black should wear it happily just as anyone should be able to wear any other color in the way and amount that suits them best. I admit, though, that I am I bit taken back at seeing a baby dressed all in black but don't know why. Still, I'm passive about it.
A large section of my wardrobe is black and it is the backbone of any travel capsule that I use. It is practical in that it is less likely to show stains and wrinkles, although white pet hair is another story.
I feel best wearing black in hot weather. It seems cool and shady.
Blacks seem easy to put together in an outfit...more so than greys, navy, browns, or even taupes that often don't work together. I'll probably come up with more reasons why I like black later, but this is a start.

Lyn D.

Veteran

First a confession to you ( and Janet) - I checked 'Nay' just for fun o)

I wear less black now than I did in the past. This is because I know more about what colours I like and suit my complexion, and it just used to be easy to only buy black footwear, bags and coats to 'go' with everything.

I believe there is a real 'art' in wearing black as you and others do. Texture and interest need to be used to make it 100% chic as opposed to looking funereal and frumpy.

Greyscale

Veteran

Anna, I don't think Deborah has sounded strident or defensive in the least. Rather, I read these posts as reflecting an arrival at something that she's very excited to have arrived at. We're all on style journeys, and it sounds to me like Deborah's been thinking a lot about hers and has realized she's at a waypoint where she can hang out happily for now. I've been feeling the same recently, so I've been enjoying the conversations.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I do relate to the notion that we feel more ourselves in certain colours & I understand that you feel that way about black

My problem with black is purely personal - it doesn't look as good on me as navy or ink. For me black, or any other neutral or colour, on its own does not a great outfit make. Fit,style & the elusive melding both physically & emotionally with the wearer need to be considered too & I just don't meld with black any more

Odyssey's quote is interesting. I don't find black confronting or artistic or avant garde in & of itself & I feel puzzled when people attribute these characteristics to it. I don't see how black "...challenges the rules.." either, well not since the Beat Generation anyway.

Hil

(website)

Veteran

I loved Gaylene's ode to black as it encapsulates how I feel about wearing it. But it is one of those colours that draws a lot of hate mail which has often made me question my love for it. People often assume that I wear it to look thinner or hide away when that is really not the case. Not now, anyway.

Gaylene

Veteran

Hmm, unlike Anna, I don't find Deb's threads defensive; to me they are interesting because they make me think about my own choices and preferences. I also think it's tricky to infer things about a person's real life from comments made on this forum; unless someone specifically mentions a personal issue, I like to think that we are all just having fun talking about fashion and style on this forum.

Debra

Veteran

What a great thread I really like wearing all black, and black and white and often grey. I wear very little colour and don't feel comfortable when I do.
I love the simplicity and ease of black and am somehow drawn to it.
I used to dress to please others,and have tried to add colour, but not any more.....it's all about me now and what I like

Deborah

Veteran

Adelpha, I think your considerations about wearing black makes a lot of sense. It is wisdom to take into account how people respond to you in any given situation, especially in what you desrcibed as your work environment.

Gaylene, permission to print and stick in my wardrobe? I so wish I had written that:)

IK I must have admit I have always found your love of neutrals AND liberty prints fascinating. The beauty of this ofcourse is that we are all different and individual in our style.

Wow Rabbit, thank you, your comment was incredibly informative for me and I now I have some homework.

Anna, I must apologise if I seem defensive. I certainly haven't meant to and I am unsure of which posts/threads you might be referring to. I genuinely love to engage in fashion talk and this a subject of interest to me and I hoped others. The members (including yourself) have done nothing but encourage me in a style journey that is true to myself:)

Suz, I look forward to seeing your 'restricted colour palette' and I just don't think you would be you in head to toe black:)

Catnip sounds like you know how to make it work for you.

Joy, I also love wearing black in summer. I think it's the contrast of pale skin (we are all sun safe now) against the black that I find attractive.

Lyn you are so naughty lol. The last thing I want to look like is my Italian grandmother in mourning (no disrespect to those who follow this custom)

Greyscale, you must be in my head. Yes I am excited as I do feel like my personal style is starting to consolidate.

Caro I knew you would be the one to pick up on what Odyssey said:) I thought the same but wondered what is her environmental norm. For some her look could be as she described and I suspect her own perceptions must be factored in as well. If I were to adopt Odyssey's style and walk around down town Bendigo... people would look. It's not the norm here. My style is very mainstream and people stare at me in the street and at the shopping center?? My style is not the norm here either.

Hil, this is what I find sometimes... people make assumptions about why you wear blackd:)

Gaylene, thank you. I assure you I am here to have fun and engage with you amazing ladies about all things fashion.

Debra, the simplicity of it is definitely something I am attracted to also. You have a well honed style and I think black works for you, the greys and whites often add a softness.

gryffin

Veteran

Deborah - You know I feel so much as you do. When I was in my teens, I did not wear black - it was too sophistocated. I bought my first black boyfriend blazer in my mid 20's (I wore only cardigans before - again too chic). I never went back. My friends have pleaded, cajoled, teased about too much black - so I know where you are coming from. But I have light cool skin with rosy undertones and dark brown hair and eyes and am a slim 5'3" rectangle. I have small features and black literally gives me a long slim line and gives contrast to my skin to bring me center stage. It makes me glow. But it's more than that. Black is my soul mate colorwise. I can't explain it but I respond to it's depth, texture, drama, mystery, and power. If white encompasses all colors, black is absence - it is the negative to my postive. Black is the night sky, the velvet of the jewelers tray - whether alone, with pops of silver or shades of gray (only acceptable when I realized gray was "black lite!!") I am me when I wear it and I am happy!!

Deborah

Veteran

Gryffin I wondered when the 'princess of darkness' would chime in here:)
You articulate so well here.. I also didn't wear black as a teen but once I tried it, that was it! We have been wedded to one another since. I am still thinking we were separated at birth

gryffin

Veteran

Deborah - you knew I would be with you!! Can you imagine if we were on the same continent!! There would not be any black left for anyone else!! We need to form our own black support group. I told you when I first started to read YLF forum, I immediately bonded to your aesthetic. You are a gorgeous candle in black, greyscale is flame and I'll take point as the princess of darkness!

Momo

Veteran

There is a woman at my workplace who constantly questions my wearing of black and gives me two thumbs up if I am not wearing black. It is rather annoying
I have worn black since I was a teenager..I tend not to wear all black and I do try to use texture in my blacks ..but truthfully am outfit doesn't feel like me if there isn't at least a touch of black somewhere !

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