Thanks Sal. It’s very frustrating, like being in quicksand. If you struggle to get out; you just sink in deeper. I have no desire to pick a fight with anyone, but the more I say that’s not what I want to talk about and try to back away, the more she comes back with it.

FI, this may not be your intent, but the bulk of your posts in
this thread seem aggressive and hostile, from my POV. They come across as if you are an attorney with a witness in the witness stand, and you are cross-examining them and trying to catch them in a misstep or trap them into admitting they are guilty of something. And then when the person tries to defend herself against this “cross examination,” you somehow try to twist it so that you are the injured party. This dynamic really sours a conversation and does a disservice to the OP. I've noticed this pattern repeating itself across multiple threads with multiple posters, over the past several months that I've been more active here.

Again, this may not be what you are aiming for--and this kind of aggressive style may be normative on other forums you frequent and/or how you typically converse with people, so it might seem natural and comfortable to you—but I’m sharing with you how it can *feel* to be on the receiving end of it here on YLF. Presumably you don’t want to come across as openly hostile towards people here?

Thank for this Jonesy . I have been on the receiving end more often than I care to think about .

Thank you, Synne, ophelia, Sal, Lisa p and Jonesy and others for your support and understanding. It is hard to receive such baseless accusations and seeing your post completely derailed.
I have never experience anything like it in my 6 years on this forum but certainly witnessed it happening here lately.

Still perplexed about this. Perhaps the questions I was reading as requests for information (“where did you get that?” “What do you mean?” etc) were intended as rhetorical and I didn’t pick that up. So then faithfully replying to each one, even as saying the same things yet again got tedious, would be seen as pursuing instead of as cooperating with the many repeated requests for info. Sorry about that. I could tell you were upset and was trying to cooperate by telling you what you were asking for. But if I assume that you meant to be simply exclaiming as a way of disagreeing, not as requests for info, then I see how you wouldn’t realize i was doing what I thought you wanted (explaining where I saw you say x). No harm was intended, and I am sorry that you perceived it differently, Irina. As I have commented on several other posts, I enjoy hearing your perspective on things, because it is reliably different from my own.

I accept you apology, FI.
I understand, perhaps our differences run deeper than fashion.
As for my requests for information, those were requests for accurate quotes of what I said, like “copy and paste” actual sentences I wrote. I want to be accountable for my words. But I didn’t not request that you provide me with more of your interpretations of what I meant in my post.

Irina, thanks for accepting the apology. I do enjoy interacting with you, precisely because of our differences. But as you and I likely both experience in our daily lives (although I think you’ve lived in Canada much longer than the 10 years I’ve spent in Germany & nearby countries), the same cultural difference that can make things interesting can also be a pain at times.
I understand now that you felt I was jumping to conclusions and making assumptions; I assume you see now that I find you were doing exactly the same. What you intended as explanations came across to me as questions.

Because you seem to still want to see it, here is what you wrote “tight, cropped tops worn with high waisted jeans/bike shorts/very short denim shorts and cute, short dresses with puffy sleeves” and how I shortened it “ “tight” crop tops (although as I mentioned, my guess is that the tops you were looking at are not actually tight, just fitted), short shorts, bike shorts, short dresses, etc.”.

I post that only because it sounds like you’re still trying to genuinely figure where I got what I said. If my shortened version is inaccurate, I apologize. I’ll discuss it as long as you need to to reach a peaceful conclusion, but no further. I’d rather have a relationship with you than press a point. I have no intention of twisting your words. As I think you (or anyone who’s seen my WIWs) know, chasing after trends or racing off to buy what I see on another person wearing are anathema to me; I think that’s what your original post is about.

FI, I think we both reached an acceptable conclusions at this point.
I see now that my choice or word “tight” was unfortunate and I should’ve used something like “fitted” instead. Thanks for pointing it out.

Thanks Irina.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!