On Angie's post this morning - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

On Angie's post this morning

Roxanna

Veteran

I found Angie's post this morning so interesting. Conventional wisdom tells us to dress more conservatively as we get older - shorter haircuts, darker colours, silhouettes that are 'more flattering' for our body type. Even if there is now a powerful positivity movement going on out there, I think older women are still portrayed as either elegant and understated or eccentric and flamboyant (and therefore outside the norm.)

I think I must have internalized this to some extent, as I think I unconsciously dress to flatter my figure and eschew trends as I get older in favour of 'timeless elegance.'

Well, screw timeless elegance. Angie is right, As we get older, we get wiser, we know more about ourselves, and we know how fleeting life is. Why *not* partake is more bold trends, try something new for a season, experiment more as we get older instead of less?

How do you feel? Would you try a new trend as you get older? is there a limit to this (trends that are 'too trendy' for aging women, cuts and shapes that are meant for younger women?)

Would love to hear the forum's thoughts.

Dressing

32 replies

Latest reply was from Jaime

Chris987

Veteran

I say do what you want. If timeless elegance is really your thing, go for it. If you want to "screw timeless elegance" (LOL) then do, and wear whatever you like.

I think it should be about what you feel comfortable in regardless of age. I do think most women probably feel comfortable in certain styles at young ages and others at older ages...due to body changes etc....but that's not universal.

Wear what makes you feel good. If you don't like wearing a certain style maybe it's just because it doesn't make you feel good, not because of some arbitrary age-rule thing.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am far more interested in trends now that I'm in my 50s than I was in my fashion unaware 30s and 40s when I was too busy and too poor to bother and felt I did not deserve to spend money on myself even if I had it.

I don't think there is anything that is by definition "too trendy" for an older woman in the abstract. It's all in the styling and how it works for this particular woman. There are many, many trends that don't interest me for a wide variety of reasons, but I don't see why I can't enjoy those that do.

I do think Angie's advice to ground the trends in classics is a sound one for any age. Otherwise we'd be replacing the entire wardrobe every year, probably not the best idea.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Interesting post, Roxanna.

Yes, I absolutely try new trends these days. I find myself getting both more and less conservative. On the one hand, I sometimes wear tailored button-front shirts and elegant pencil skirts (never woulda done that in my youth), but I also wear bold items that once upon a time I might only have looked longingly at. For example, on Saturday night I wore the Beetlejuice pants to the movies. My word, those pants are LOUD. But I love walking around pretending I'm on a Tim Burton film set.

Note on the shorter haircuts: I think a lot of women cut their hair shorter as they get older not out of a conscious (or unconscious) desire to look more conservative, but because of changing hair texture. Many women experience some thinning, and grey hair often has a totally different texture than the original colour. Many women find that a shorter style simply works better.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I do not see why body flattery should be opposed to embracing trends. I think they both can be married really well. What one really has a freedom in is to decide what "flattery" means to oneself and does not simply have to comply with "conventional rules" and what others think
As long as you stay true to yourself and your own sense of style I am all for embracing trends at any age. Just bring them on!
Life is too short to wear the same "timeless" outfits for decades, we need to have our fun with fashion and it doesnot have an age expiration date.

Roxanna

Veteran

@Shevia - you are totally right and I didn't mean to imply that taking on a trend means you can't flatter your figure. I guess I've watched too many What Not to Wear episodes in my youth (lol) and they were always so conscious about trends not being for every one, only choosing the trends that flatter your figure, etc. So JFE, man-repeller etc is a bit of a foreign concept to me but one I really love for the freedom of it. And this new dimension about experimenting more vs. less as you age is similarly less familiar but really exciting.

Though of course, as @Chris987 said, if timeless elegance is your thing (as it is mine cometimes), feel free to rock it -it juts teached me not to shy away from other styles/trends for no reason other than age.

Liz

Veteran

I don't think I've ever heard that people are supposed to wear darker colors and become more conservative as they age. I do think that many women -- after a lifetime of seeing trends come and go -- start to realize that they get to wear what THEY want, and start to become more discriminating.

A trend can look ridiculous on one 57 year old woman and great on another -- it depends more on the person and her personality, way of carrying herself, general style, etc. I'm thinking of a woman about 15 years older than me who wore "juniors" trendish items all the time -- and looked fantastic. I would have felt awkward and uncomfortable in the same items, and it would have shown. Thing is -- I would have felt awkward and uncomfortable in them when I was a "juniors" age, as well.

That said, yes, there absolutely ARE items that are cut for younger bodies; it's a simple fact that our bodies change, and we need to accommodate that.

Liz

Veteran

Also, regarding What Not to Wear, remember what they were doing on the show: They were correcting women who had gone really wrong somewhere -- a 50something cramming herself into her daughter's junior clothing, or a woman who had given up on shopping because "everything" in the stores just made her feel so bad about her body. They weren't making general commentary on already-stylish women.

Anonymous

I've made a pact with myself to always wear at least one fairly trendy item with every outfit. I figure if I do this, then I can let my hair go grey naturally and gain some age-weight and I'll still look "with it".

Sporting trends is very invigorating! Much more so than other forms of self-care (other than exercise).

Anonymous

I think more than anything, at any age...one should feel at ease in one's style, be it very trendy or very classic. As for myself, well, since over the last few years I have added more on trend items to what I wear, but I also still love huge amounts of classic in my style too. I do feel more at ease with myself now as well and I find that I'm definitely more adventurous than I was.

Funnily enough Roxanna, your post comes one the day when I saw myself on a video taken when my son was 2.5 (he's 12.5 now) and I laughed out loud at myself...IMO I looked way older and very frumpy, both in what I was wearing and my hair...neither did me any favours in colour, style, shape.... Thanks to YLF things are vastly improved!

Anonymous

Wanted to add:
I do feel the pressure of "timeless elegance" ...mistly this comes from blogs and magazines more than the real world.
I think it's just a matter of completely ignoring all the noise and just doing what's right for you (sorry to be so trite).
My main example of "doing what's right for me" is continuing to wearing shorter shorts and shorter skirts in the summer. I think some people might think these items are too short for me, given my age, but I still feel like they look good enough and are super-practical.

catseye

Veteran

I always thought when older people embrace colors more. You can get away with being cute in all blacks in your twenties but generally more colors look better as we age. No?

Anonymous

This is an interesting subject - and I was actually thinking a bit about this this past weekend. I'm always trying to find that place between classic and reserved elegance - and the flamboyant eccentric look you mentioned. Neither are me and I am not striving for either look. But I have been thinking about how some of the things I like either in hair styles or clothing and accessory styles were "picked" for their youthfulness. I'm thinking about my occasional wearing of a faux-hawk, or my choice of skull motifs and ripped jeans.....as examples. I never felt "forced" to choose those things because I honestly like them aesthetically, but I am wondering at what point will I want to phase that part of my style out and start looking for a less trend-driven look. I don't know - it's a tough one. I don't want to become a caricature of myself, but nor do I want to get all boring either It's a slippery slope, isn't it? What image do I want to present? And does it reflect how I see myself or how I feel about myself?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Liz raises a really good point about WNTW. They were not profiling the "effortlessly stylish" people, just the ones who definitely needed help. So meanwhile, there could have been lots of great-looking fashionable older women sporting the trends of the time with finesse.

Author Linda

Veteran

I'm definitely an older woman now (dang it) and remember looking at my closet a few years ago and wondering when I had started dressing like I'd given up on life. Part of the blame certainly falls on the shoulders of my hippie youth when I could dress in cutoffs and a peasant blouse and look adorable. But what's the point of missing that?

Age is a gift. "If you're lucky," my grandmother used to say, "you'll live long enough to realize what other people think doesn't matter." Only dementia robbed her of her sense of fashion before she died at 98.

Not every trend will be a winner for every woman, but I think older women can and should be fashion forward if that's their preferred style. Dressing with an eye to current styles helps a gal look not so much younger but a kind of "ageless." People see a vibrant woman who wears her age as part of her look. I've really started to *like* being older. (Except for old knees...don't get me started on those.) This year I'm rather liking cropped pants. For summer. It's a good look for me and I can show off my ankles. All ages can show off ankles! [Ben Franklin knew this. "...knowing what is only below the Girdle, it is impossible of two women to know an old from a young one."]

I really enjoyed Angie's post. Made me think and made me smile.

catgirl

Veteran

Well, I've managed to incorporate peacock hair and sequin shoes into the aging process, so I say do what makes you happy!

deb

Veteran

I am 62 and purchased white frame specs a few months ago. I do keep my wardrobe colors to a minimum, it is easier to mix and match. But shoes? I will try most trends.

Gaylene

Veteran

Lisa said it perfectly!

Figuring out how one wants to dress an older body is just as interesting, and frustrating, as dressing at any other age. We older women are a diverse group even if the advice we are usually offered assumes our years will define our appearance. Not every senior woman wants to be elegant, or kooky, or modest, or "ageless" (whatever that means!). We strive for the same things as we did when we were younger, but in a way that accepts who we are NOW, not then.

Roxanna

Veteran

What interesting perspectives and wisdom...I love hearing all your comments!

smittie - I've never thought of wearing trends as a form of 'self-care' - I think that's such an insightful perspective. One of the purposes of self-care is to give you energy and vitality; sporting trends certainly does that, and as you said, can be a great counterpoint to greying hair (which I am sporting almost a full head of now)

author linda - I love what you said about 'ageless' vs. timeless:

Dressing with an eye to current styles helps a gal look not so much younger but a kind of "ageless." People see a vibrant woman who wears her age as part of her look.
That's such an important point, to wear our age as a part of our look, as we do our hair or our makeup.

SandyG

Veteran

Trends keep things fun because they remind us to change and stay flexible, bring in the new. Shifting my focus and reading what Angie and others are doing jolts me into 'doing more, overthinking less' when it comes to wardrobes, hair, sometimes Life like today's post. Can't get stuck will all your examples here! Knowing others share my struggle to, say, grow out a wavy bob is cheerily empowering and helps quite a lot every morning

Anonymous

yes, I agree: ageless is a great word here

Anonymous

wonderfully phrased and true to the bone thinking here. I think at 69 I am more discerning about what to wear than I was in my career days as in some respects what I wore then was easier to decide and I didn't often go out on a limb with bold colors, trendy styles, etc. I needed quality and professional items that intermixed well. Now, I am more mindful about "grounding the trendy in the classics" and being more open to color, different styles and just having some fun and playing with fashion. Ageless is a good word as that embraces the challenge to learn and experiment with design and styles. I'm a rough draft in process and the final draft can always be revised.

Style Fan

Veteran

I always say I missed the memo that told me what to wear at my age. If I want to wear something I wear it.

DonnaF

Veteran

I think my (lack of) style pre-YLF might be described as oblivious, clueless, and outright frumpy. When I was a youngish professional, it was all about Dress for Success which was a uniform but not really *me*. I came to YLF in my late fifties, so call me a late bloomer!

I think I am firmly planted in the Eccentric Camp; elegant never feels authentic on me and I struggle to understand and recognize trends. Plus, I prefer to purchase on discount so that means being a little behind. But, at age 63 I probably dress more trendy than I have at any time in my life. Since I need mostly Petite sizing, the trendiness is rather tempered since not much is available.

I actually think there's not any styles I wore in my 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s, barring their datedness, that I wouldn't wear now. I've never worn miniskirts, revealing clothing, or 3" heels in my life so that's not a change.

Gaylene

Veteran

Style Fan, I don't think anyone TELLS us what to wear when we are old, at least not if they have any sense.

But there is a not-so-subtle implication in society that an older woman can't go too far without looking like a caricature--the "too Xxx" syndrome. It's not always easy to know where to draw a personal line in the sand, especially if a trend is one we'd have adopted enthusiastically in our younger days. The "there are no restrictions" philosophy is liberating, but not without pitfalls--and our sartorial mis-steps can be judged rather harshly by others.

rachylou

Veteran

Well, I love the exclamation 'screw timeless elegance,' because I'm from a preppy family and there was a lot of that even when I was young. I look terrible in timeless elegance - tho I really like it in home decor. I'm pretty much in the screwball, madcap eccentric camp. For others tho, who for *some reason* (hehe) don't want to join me in clown clothes, I think Angie is so right: even classics need updating. Stylishness requires some sense of the now. It's like, you're old, not dead. Wait until you actually die to go into a cryogenic freeze. *Ahem* Hehe

rachylou

Veteran

Oh but wait. With all my work children, I do feel it's nice to let them to have their own identity. They're so cute. So my hair is green, but purple hair girl can be the only one with a side shave. And I wear colourful stuff and leave them to their black t-shirts. God forbid they should feel I want to try and hang with them. They need to believe I'll break up their parties, keep them safe

Gigi

Veteran

I find that as I get older, I am more willing to experiment with something new. I agree with the posters who have said that what you wear won't look silly if it matches how you carry yourself and portray yourself.

I find too that I don't shy away from silhouettes meant for younger women (I am over forty but wear quite a lot of miniskirts), but I am very picky about buying a more sophisticated version of such garments. For instance, with the miniskirts, I don't buy the clingy ones but look for heavier weights like wool, corduroy, and denim. I guess I don't mind dressing younger than I am, but I don't want to dress like I am in my early twenties either.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

This post is great really enjoyed reading the responses. Mthe answer to your question is yes I do. The older I become the less I could care about what others think of how I dress. So I try what I love even if it is a conventional fashion fail at least I tried it.

rebekahphoto

Veteran

I certainly feel "as we get older we get wiser." And I feel so much more confident in my skin, in knowing what I want and not worring about what anyone else thinks.

With fashion there are so many new trends I find all of the options exciting--And I sense overall a much more experimental attitude towards fashion in society. I never felt the need to get more conservative as I aged, in fact probably the opposite. Only dealing with the aging body (poor feet) has limited some items I can wear comfortably

And my 70+ year old mamma is a great influence! Her style is so much more fashion adventurous now that when she was in her 40s. Her statement jewelry, leather skirts, trendy tops and jackets attract compliments where ever she goes. And I think the freedom to express her creativity in her fashion choices is inspiring

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