So I got the job at the grocery store, in the produce department. It wasn't my dream job, but it's a good job: close to home, more money, permanent position, good company to work for, etcetera etcetera etcetera

Today was new hire orientation. There is a uniform: red polo style company shirts, black pants (our own), and slip resistant shoes (because I'm in produce, which has water hazards).

The red polo style shirts are a godawful polyester material. Like a technical fabric or something. I. Live. In. Texas. We need cotton here in Texas, because cotton breathes. But ok, it's a climate controlled store, so maybe it won't be so bad. So red company shirt, check.

Slip resistant shoes? Check. My Bates tactical boots are slip resistant. But I can't wear the same boots day in and day out, because that's not good for the shoes or the feet so I flipped through their catalog and saw some cute wedge heel shooties (pic 1) that I almost had them order for me. But I haven't worn heels on a daily basis for a lot of years, and it is a water hazard environment. So I flipped through a bit more and found the pair with my name all over them. See pics 2 and 3. The lady said if I thought I could work in them, then they were in compliance with requirements, so we ordered them. I had to restrain myself, because I have literally worked an entire week of "Disney on Ice" in non-slip-resistant 5" block heel Cole Haan boots ON THE ACTUAL ICE. I figured saying so would come off as rather insubordinate or something. So slip resistant shoes? Check and check. (Both are boots, and boots are a happy place for me; so we're good in this department.)

Now, black pants. Not a problem. I have AG black skinnies in my closet, and a couple pairs of skinny trousers on the way from internet orders just for this job. All set, right?
Nope. No skinny pants, no legging style pants, no jeans.
Wait, whaaaaaaaat?

I am the epitome of the opposite of grace. Wide leg pants, flares, and even true straight leg pants have all that extra fabric around the ankles. All that fabric? Yeah, my feet get tangled up in it and I trip. True story. Not a good idea for me to wear this type of pants to a job that requires a lot of moving around in a great hurry, which I learned the hard way as a stagehand.
So I ask about cropped suit pants. Nope. They won't cover the tops of the shoes.
(Huh? Like, I don't even understand that one, but ok). I asked about nice joggers with elastic around the ankles. I'm told we'll have to ask the store manager.

At this point, I gave up and told the training manager that I would see what I could find; and if I couldn't find anything I didn't trip over, we'd worry the manager at that point. I went to goodwill and found a couple pairs of slacks, then I went to Cato and got some slim-ish straight leg ponte trousers. I also got a couple of black long-sleeve t-shirts, because that & black jackets are the acceptable ways of staying warm at work. I'm so good in the black jacket department.

After I got home, I went in my closet and took out most of the button-up shirts & cute blouses I had been hanging on to for a potential job in a clothing store, along with many of my non-black pants and non-black blazers & jackets. I had to make room for the new work uniform clothes. Also edited out? A couple pairs of shoes that I knew I wouldn't wear since my job has a uniform that requires non-slip footwear. There is still a lot of variety in my closet, and it's all stuff I pretty much adore; so I'm really good in the off-duty wardrobe department. I am excited to get dressed on non-work days, at least

After that unwanted closet edit, I stewed in my juices for a while and realized that the goodwill finds would make me miserable because they were just pants that I bought to satisfy a requirement. I marinated in the knowledge that I had pants on the way that I was going to have to return (which is a total pain, as you all know). I simmered in the knowledge that another white kitchen trash bag full of clothes was sitting in my truck to be taken to the thrift shop.

Well, all that stewing & marinating & simmering had reached a boiling point and I went online and ordered more black freaking pants because I hated the idea of all that fabric trying to kill me at work on slippery wet floors. I dug around the old interwebz and found pants that felt like me, didn't have too much extra fabric around my ankles, and still met the requirements for work uniform. My credit cards & bank account hate me right now, but at least I've got paychecks coming to make them happy again in the near future.

On the bright side, I will be totally on-trend at work in my cowgirl boots :-). And even though the shaft will be tucked under pants, the pointy toe will look good poking out of my pants legs.

Anyway, I just had to regale you guys with my unwanted closet edit because y'all, I was angry about it. Now that I've solved the pants problem, I'm happy with what's left in the closet for my not-work days, and I have some wicked cool new work boots; so, in the end i guess it all worked out.

Except for those awful red shirts. Hence the base layers