Oh, The Places You'll Glow! - YouLookFab Forum

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Oh, The Places You'll Glow!

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I was in Chicago right after Memorial Day Weekend, and my baby sis and I went to Second City to see the show 'Oh, The Places You'll Glow!' It was a comedy sketch show, and I laughed so hard, my entire face felt stretched out and saggy afterward. Highly recommend this show.

One sketch, in particular, has stayed with me: A mother and teenage daughter are shopping for clothes. They are in a changing room, and the daughter is trying on super-tight jeans. She can't even stand up. The mom asks (skeptically) "can you stand up in those?" and the daughter says 'NO, but the popular girl has the same jeans in that same size, and I AM NOT leaving without them' (I know I'm paraphrasing). She'll just stand like this when she wears them. Then she trudges across the stage, hunched over, and we all howled with laughter. We've all been there, done that.

There is all the classic eye-rolling, giving-mom-attitude, and cheerful-chirpy-annoying-mom-replies that just sets the daughter off.

But right in the middle of the dramedy of wearing too-tight jeans, following your peers, and next-level eye-rolling, the mom tells the daughter...

"Someday you will look back on this moment, and realize how great you looked".

The daughter is aghast. She shrieks, in that teenager semi-hysterical way...

"ARE YOU TELLING ME I WILL ONLY EVER APPRECIATE MY BODY IN RETROSPECT?!"

And the mom says "Yes!" in an annoyingly perky manner, and then they are immediately back in the rapid-fire comedy dialogue.

My sister and I were laughing hard right up until that moment. Then it felt like the wind had been knocked out of us. We both looked at each other and mouthed, "What?!" Minds = BLOWN.

I don't know who wrote that sketch, but talk about a moment of clarity.

Nearly two months later, my sister and I still talk about that sketch. We, and most women we know, tell ourselves that we aren't happy with how we look: our bodies, our hair, our skin. We feel lumpy, dumpy, invisible, not enough.

We've decided that we are not going to 'only ever appreciate ourselves in retrospect'. We want to enjoy how we look now. So we have both actively committed to getting rid of this negative inner-dialogue when we look in the mirror. We are changing our inner (and outer) narrative about ourselves.

If any of this resonates, I hope you will as well!

And if you're in Chicago, go see a show at Second City.

Body Type

19 replies

Latest reply was from Joy

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

This:

"We've decided that we are not going to 'only ever appreciate ourselves in retrospect'. We want to enjoy how we look now. So we have both actively committed to getting rid of this negative inner-dialogue when we look in the mirror. We are changing our inner (and outer) narrative about ourselves"

YES!!!! Please shout it from the rooftops!

You rock, Mary Beth! Thanks for sharing your important and meaningful epiphany with us. This was a gift to us today

We are in control of how we think, and can change our narrative by being more positive. Sometimes it seems impossible to do that. Yet as Nelson Mandela said: It always seems impossible until it's done.

April

Veteran

Goodness, MB - it's like the comics were living in my household of origin!

Actually, as a kid and teen, it was the opposite. "Someday you'll develop interesting hollows beneath your cheekbones if you could just lose the chubbiness."

At my first wedding, a tiny living room affair to which my mother was invited, it had morphed into this version. At the reception, she told me that in future, when my children saw my wedding suit (an off-the-rack tiny junior size), they'd say, "Mom! How did you EVER fit into that?" And my retort was, "Yes, Mom. They'll say, 'I mean, it must have just HUNG on you."

Be careful what you wish for, my mother.

Runcarla

Veteran

Nothing provokes my ire more than women disparaging their bodies or the bodies of other women. We are our bodies. They are not the enemy or some ‘other’ that needs to be manipulated to conform to one standard. We are all beautiful!

Thanks for sharing this story Mary Beth.

Laurie

Veteran

I'm such a fan of improv. I still remember a Second City skit from 1993, believe it or not! It was the summer before I got married and my husband and I had a romantic weekend in Chicago. The skit had to do with the game Pictionary, 2 sisters and their husbands playing "boys against the girls". The sisters killed it, and the guys couldn't do a thing!

I love your telling of this story. As I cleaned out my parents' house over the last year, and reviewed my whole life in letters and photos, I had many occasions to realize that all the years I hated my appearance I had, for most of them, looked fine. So young! And healthy. And sometimes even pretty.

I'm acutely aware at my age now that there is never going to be a day I look or feel better than today, so carpe diem. It's a daily exercise to fight that inner voice, for sure.

Peri

Veteran

Love this, thank you!

ChristelJ

Veteran

It's insane that we have had to live with the negativity for so long. Thanks for the reminder to look at ourselves with appreciation right now.

Dee

Veteran

Where has the time gone? In some ways I still feel like a 20 something inside but I’m happy trying to simply be the best version of myself at whatever my current age happens to be. Thanks for this great message.

Jenny H

Veteran

This is a great message, thank you for sharing your story!

It's interesting too because I think there are some people who shy away from getting into style because they don't like the way they look. But this morning, as I put on an outfit consisting almost entirely of new purchases (thrifted top, NAS jeans) made since I recommitted myself to this effort, I felt a lot better about my body than I have in a while and I also felt grateful that my look reflected my personality so well.

Jules

Veteran

Great line and inspiration story Mary Beth, thanks for sharing!

cat2

Veteran

My confidence has been lagging a bit. I think all the attention we give to the Ozempic-thin is eating away at the small amount of body positivity that existed in our culture for a moment there. That, and the middle aged woman’s new curse of not being able to stand up for myself at all without being called a Karen.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Thank you for sharing (and bringing fond memories of Second City which we went to in Chicago a few years ago).
Anyway, so, so relatable. I have looked back on my old pictures and thought the same thing so many times that I have already started reminding myself that future me will do the same if I don't wise up.

Joy

Veteran

Embracing my aging body has been hard. No more of so many things, like travel and swimming. Covid has taken it out of me.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

Angie and Runcarla... RIGHT ON!

April ... I don't understand why someone would ever say that to a child or teenager. Or to anyone, at any age. I would like to think it was coming from a place of love, but all the same, those kinds of words can shatter a person, particularly in a society that places such value on appearance. Big hugs and love to you!

Laurie... I did a local pageant (part of the Miss Florida/Miss America) franchise when I was 19. The pageant director shamed everyone about weight, and encouraged us to crash-diet - which I tried, but couldn't not do. (Which was a good thing). When I look back on photos of myself during those years, I think, "Wow, I look so thin, WHY did I ever think I was too big?"

I know you were beautiful then, as you are now!

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

@Peri, CristelJ, Dee, Jules... thank you! Spread the word to someone you know who needs the positive message. I wish I knew who wrote that sketch, I'd shake their hand and buy them a drink.

@JennyH... I've been following your posts, and you look great

@cat2... Oh-oh-oh-Ozempic has really seems to have gotten out of control. I have friends who use it for weight loss, with mixed results, and unhappiness, because when they've come off it, they've regained some weight. And there seems to be a subculture of shaming and poking fun of folks who do take it.

I'm over society praising people for "being thinner" and "looking younger". I think maybe this is just a North American thing? I've worked with British actors and singers, and nobody seems to care, particularly about age.

The "Karen" thing deserves a post all its own.

@Jaime.. I hear ya! Because I have to constantly remind myself that I want to enjoy now, and not be caught up in not being "whatever" enough.

@Joy... I know this, and I see it with my dad. He has had COVID twice, and I've watched him slowly give up bicycling, very long walks (he does shorter ones now), and less swimming. He still keeps at it, but I can see how he sort of draws himself in, and guards his energy. Both of my parents, and many of my friends speak of "COVID fog". I don't know how long it takes to clear, but I'm hopeful.

Joy, I hope you will get back in the water. There's a lot of joy (ha!) in just paddling around with a boogie board. Or floating around on a raft like a queen For travel, if you're ever feeling the itch, but not the energy, maybe do a day trip or just an afternoon and experience something in your own town that you haven't visited in awhile? You might recruit a friend or family member, and tell them you want a small adventure that includes lunch.

Runcarla

Veteran

Funny story…

When I was in uni, I supplemented my part time minimum wage earnings with occasional work as a model for artists and college life drawing classes. One gig was for a collective of professional artists, and while I was on break I overheard one of the artists say to another with a heavy sigh: “another dancer.* Why can’t we get anyone interesting?” My artist friend told me the group loved it when they could hire a pregnant woman or older men and women! LOL! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…

*I wasn’t a ‘dancer’ though I had taken some adult ballet for fun. I was a runner.

Aquamarine

Veteran

Mary Beth, GREAT story! Thank you for the reminder.

DonnaF

Veteran

Believe it or not, I feel more positive about my appearance at age 71 than I did when I was young. But I am also cognizant of the things that really matter with DH’s cousin and my friend both fighting Stage 4 cancer. I think it took until age 65 or 70 to get to this place, however.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Thanks for sharing this experience, MaryBeth. What a great moment to share with your sister. And now with us!

Joy

Veteran

My best friend stopped swimming every day when it caused her to not be able to lift her hands above her waist. At about the same time she fell down a few stairs. She has not been swimming for years and took lots of suffering…not able to wash or fix her hair or makeup. Not able to get dressed and more. She is also going blind. Her dad died of a heart condition and her mother of encopresis.