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Office wear: no wonder I'm confused

Ann in New England

I work mostly from home, but go to our NYC office every month or two for meetings. Dressing for these trips is my biggest point of clothing stress. People's impressions of me are made largely by seeing me a few times a year. Yes, my work should speak for itself, but we all know how appearance matters.

Today I took note of how others were dressed, and it's no wonder I get so stressed. There is no rhyme or reason. Here are some outfits (granted, it was a winter Friday, but I think this is pretty typical:

CEO: (male) jeans and a ski sweater. He's European, so. ...
VP1: (female) dress pants, low heels, Eileen Fisher-type hip-length cardigan
VP2: (female) jeans, brown pullover (nondescript) sweater, cognac tall boots
VP3: (female) sweater dress, feathery scarf, black tall boots
VP4 (male): khaki-style pants, button down dress shirt
VP5 (male): jeans, dress shirt with v-neck sweater, sports jacket,hiking boots
VP6 (female) Skinny jeans, fur-trimmed stylish black suede booties,
fashionable tunic-length sweater
VP7: high fashion - black knit pencil skirt, suede knee boots with 4-inch heels, great jacket
Director 1 (male): distressed jeans, tshirt from client company, rag wool cardigan, hot pink socks, fur-trimmed ugh-like clogs, man-bun
Director 2 (male:) navy dress pants, dress shirt under v-neck sweater, sports jacket
Director3: jeans, rag-wool sweater with t-shirt type top underneath, sneakers

No wonder I stress out. WIW: gray BR Maddies, black suede booties, black wrap-style blouse, black BR blazer, black/white leopard print scarf.

ETA: VP 1's assistant (female): shiny Lycra leggings, silky hi-low blouse that did not cover crotchal area but did cover 1/2 of bum, gold lame wedge sneakers.

Dressing

17 replies

Latest reply was from Ann in New England

Jeanie

Veteran

Corporate dress is such a mishmash these days. I think everyone is confused. Culture is a big part too. I remember being told my jeans were too dressy for jean Friday. It sounds like you were dressed well. I would love to see a pic of the Assistant! Funny.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

The message here: You're in a creative field.

What is your role in relation to these others?

Meredith

Veteran

That does sound confusing! Playing off of Suz's question, what impression are you most trying to send when you visit the office?

rachylou

Veteran

Ok,now you have to tell us their divisions. That might reveal something.

Summer

Veteran

Ann, it sounds as if you have carte blanche to me; a perfect reason to dress impeccably in your style.

kkards

Veteran

gosh, i would have loved a group photo! this being NYC i'm also wondering if how they commute to work (especially in this weather) influences at all what they wear. and i 2nd rachylou, i would love to know what departments they represent.
but it sounds like they are all wearing outfits that reflect their own individual styles and personalities. so i think i would take care to make sure that i dressed in a way that conveyed a similar intent.

Anonymous

Ah, a typical publishing company crew Sounds like your choice of outfit was perfect. The creatives in the back offices can wear whatever they want , so can European Presidents, and the rest of them sound like normal people. In sales, we should be the leaders in how we present the company and ourselves to the world , and looking neither kooky , nor too casual is the goal. Was this a sales conference? I'm headed off to Calgary tomorrow for the Western Book Fair. Speaking of not having any idea what to wear......:)

trekkiegirl

Veteran

I was going to say what Suz did - sounds like a typical creative agency to me! I think you can wear whatever you want, within obvious bounds, and represent yourself.

Ann in New England

We're all in sales, and this was a client-free day. It is a creative profession, and I love that we have a culture where people can be who they are. It's part of why I love working there. My role is technically junior to these folks though we don't really hold to that kind of heirarchy too strictly unless it's needed. And in this particular case it wasn't. Kind of confusing, I know. I was one of the leaders of the meeting.

I am probably over-thinking how much people do or don't notice my dress, but since I see some of them only a few times a year or less, I do think it's imporrtant that I look my best. I'm not always clued in on what is happening outside of my meetings so if, for instance, an important client was in that day and everybody was in "full dress" and I wasn't, that would have been weird. But I also don't want to look like I'm trying too hard, and there is the practicality of travel as well.

(Lisa's, this wasn't sales conference -- that's an entirely different challenge that I need to tackle in the next two weeks! It's in Florida and I don't have many spring casual/biz casual clothes to speak of).

Adelfa

Veteran

Ann, I love your detailed description. I feel like I was there! I am in human services in Los Angeles, but the vibe is somewhat similar.

I think the male outfits are mainly useful for determining that you are not in a business formal environment. Beyond that, I would ignore them. My closest counterpart--my age, my title but male--wears jeans and bright Converse every day (he has a collection of 40 pairs) and I couldn't possibly get away with that.

The biggest trend I see is very fashionable footwear! So I recommend wearing shoes that have high fashion impact. As for clothes, it seems like most of the women are covered up but have a "cool" factor going. Not fashion-victim cool, but enough to look current or a little edgy. I think that's important in creative environments. When I moved to LA, I found over time that I needed to look less corporate and more hip--obviously not ridiculously so, but a little.

It sounds like you looked great! Looking forward to more observations and pics.

Anonymous

Ann, this is kind of fascinating, I can see why it would be challenging! Your description made everyone sound pretty well dressed, not dressed-up, but styled with intent. Different looks, same thoughtful execution. Many people in NYC are so exposed to fashion and trends eventually they can just exhale "looks" and look like it just happened that way.
You have a good eye for the details that make outfits, when you see someone you think looks great, really look at what they're wearing.
I like your fundamentally practical approach and I think there's not much risk of you looking like you're trying too hard. I'm think self doubt might be more of a problem, so maybe don't try for a huge change, just more polish?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am freelancing now. But my last job was for an online company. We mostly met via the internet but there were always a few in-person meetings per year. And my experience was just like yours here. Everybody wore what he or she wanted. The overall vibe was casual but with varying levels of fashion awareness/ interest. I wanted to be comfortable but also professional looking and I wanted to make an impact. I was among the oldest at the company and I didn't want to come across as a fuddy duddy. So I usually dressed in my own version of business casual or smart casual depending on the day. Jeans were not "out" for me but I usually tried to avoid them. Fab footwear and jackets were my friends. I became known as "the stylish one" so I must have been doing something right.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

Does this company subscribe to Casual Friday? Perhaps that would explain the mix with some participating and others not???

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Was there anything about your attire that gave you pause, in relation to your co-workers? If you had carte blanche, do you have a vision of what you would like to look like in these settings?

Ann in New England

Oh my, there is so much great stuff in here that you all have given me to think about. Thank you!!
Shoes!! Adelfa and Suz, thank you for pointing out that footwear is key I do think that great shoes can elevate an outfit. There are some practical considerations to be taken into account (20 city block walk from train to office, hem length, etc) but those can all be worked out. I've just done some shoe shopping this morning...
One other thing. I read somewhere that while most of the world "peacocks" their status through their cars and homes, New Yorkers do it through their clothes. I believe this is very true. That, coupled with Isabel's observation that most of these people are immersed in a world of fashionable people so that it just becomes second nature, probably makes me overthink it all.
But yes, I have just ordered some shoes. So we'll see.
Thanks to all, too many to thank individually but you've all contributed greatly.
My next life will have me pursuing a degree in "The Psychology of Fashion."

dashielle (Ann)

(website)

Veteran

I'm following this thread with great interest, as corporate dress norms are a subject that fascinates me. My company was bought by a much larger company Friday, and I'm spending a lot more time wondering how things may change in many areas, not to mention in dress culture. I will probably pull out more conservative skirt/jacket/pump combos for any integration meetings, assuming I'm retained and until I can read the culture changes better. Thanks for the great descriptions of meeting dress...did you take notes or do you just have a great memory?

Ann in New England

Dashielle, I have a pretty good memory when I actually pay attention, and I do confess that I was making mental notes during the meeting because I was specifically interested in what people were wearing.

Good luck with the integration. I have been through several and know how stressful and also exciting it can be.