Observation on "middle aged" fashion advice - YouLookFab Forum

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Observation on "middle aged" fashion advice

Mander

(website)

Veteran

I was just reading some random article about fashion advice for middle aged women, and it occurred to me that much of the standard advice -- don't wear crop tops or micro mini skirts, avoid things that are too tight and revealing, etc. -- is much the same as the advice for us fat folks. In that sense I don't think I have to worry about looking age appropriate because many of the styles that are prone to being read as juvenile are not things that I would wear regardless of age, because I would not feel that they flattered me in the first place.

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18 replies

Latest reply was from Lisa

ironkurtin

Veteran

Dignity, Mander, always dignity.

I think that there's an assumption that youth can get away with looking dumb. It's not always true!

Anonymous

Heh. I'd like my teenage daughter to follow the same advice you listed as well, because it's modest and in good taste.

Thistle

Veteran

I agree with Claire and IK. I think we forgive youth for foolishness whereas we expect people to have learned by middle age.

Honestly, I don't think too tight or too short looks good on anyone, even those with the figures for it. Think how much nicer they would look in clothes that fit them.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

What Thistle said!

Isabel

Veteran

Yes, I agree with the other ladies !! Especially Thistle in saying that we do forgive youth quite a bit. I think that one should dress for one's body, no matter what one's age. ( When my children were newborns, a cocktail dress and tux would have just been weird on those Butterball, spitting up bodies, LOL )

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

But what about "fat" and "middle aged" people?

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

What is "middle aged"? Please don't say 40! ;P

Gaylene

Veteran

Hmm, 45, GP? That is, if you plan to live to be around 90 or so. I used to think I was "middle-aged" until I realized that I don't really think I'll make the 120 mark

Age is such a funny thing; I don't think that anyone ever "feels" old, unless they are ill or unable to do what they want. I was laughing at my singing along to ABBA's "Dancing Queen" on the elliptical the other day--

"You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only"...Whoops--sixty-three?

Maybe that's why "age appropriate" is such a tricky topic--do I dress my actual age or the way I feel inside?

Vildy

Veteran

heh. We had our newborn kid in a tuxedo onesie and took him out for New Years Eve.

Susie

Veteran

Isabel said " I think that one should dress for one's body, no matter what one's age" and, to some extent, I agree. I believe that my current shape (overweight) limits my choices more than does my age (50).

However, no matter how nice my figure might be, I believe that there are still choices that should be left to the younger set. Even if I COULD wear the same clothes as my 25 year old daughter, doesn't necessarily mean that I SHOULD. It's rather disconcerting to see a 50 year old face with a mini skirt. Just as a young teen can look inappropriate by dressing too "old" so can a middle aged woman look inappropriate by dressing too young.

MsMary

Veteran

My newborn had a tux onesie, too! With tails! LOL

T-Rex

Veteran

I think going too conservative because you are "of a certain age" is just as bad as dressing like a teenager. I see no reason why a middle aged woman with great legs can't rock a short skirt. (Not a micro-mini...but short). A middle aged woman who works out to get buff arms should show them off in sleeveless dresses or halter tops if she wants. Just because you are over 45 doesn't mean you have to hide your body. You have the option to pick whatever part of your body you find most pleasing, and then show it off...at any age.

However, if you dress conservatively because you prefer it, that's perfectly fine. Just don't let anyone pressure you into covering up.

BTW, I know several middle aged bellydancers. They may have a few lines on their faces and some age spots on their arms, but their abs are fantastic. If they want to wear crop tops even when they aren't performing, I'm not going to argue.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

It is weird to me how we seem to be expected to become conservative polyester double-knit wearing grannies the moment we hit 40. I am certainly no advocate of this model!

However, I do think there is a certain degree to which it is good to be mindful of looking childish or inappropriate. For example, I saw a woman (seemed to be late 50s?) in town a few months ago who struck me as treading a fine line, and I was kind of shocked at myself for thinking so. She had a great figure and fantastic legs, and was wearing a jewelled tank top with a black suit, opaque tights, and heels (this was early evening and she was clearly on her way to an event with the man she was walking with). Her hair and makeup were tasteful. The thing that gave me pause, though, was that her skirt was a super micro-mini, just barely below butt level, and she was wearing towering platform stiletto heels -- they must have been 6" high. Even though it was all opaque and monochromatic and there wasn't any skin showing, I thought the skirt length and heels made her look a bit "off".

Maybe it's more to do with my poison eye for super short skirts and super high heels but I thought she would have looked better and more age appropriate with either a longer skirt (but still body-con) or lower heels.

Claudia

Veteran

@ T-Rex and Mander,

I am 51 and I have great, long legs. Always have. Really, I am not bragging but stating a fact of very lucky genes: no matter how slim or heavy I've been over the years, not exercising or regularly exercising, my legs have always been slender, shapely and firm. No cellulite or veins. And I've had pregnancies where I gained 60 lbs or more. I take no personal credit for something that just is.

This part of my body reliably made me happy and gave me some self confidence.

What brought me to YLF about 5 years ago was that when I was in my mid-40s I started to wonder if I needed to wear longer hemlines because of my age. No one said I did, in fact the comments and compliments even from strangers male and female continued, but I realized myself I was in a different stage of my life. I started Googling age appropriate dressing and that's how I found Angie and YLF. I didn't want to look "mature" or "middle aged," I wanted to look stylish and, yes, dignified. I knew mutton dressed as lamb when I saw it, and did not want to be it.

This is the conclusion that I reached. When I put on a shorter skirt or dress and looked in the full length mirror and only took my reflection in from the neck down, I looked really good and didn't have an age. But when I looked at my entire reflection from head to toe, something was definitely off. The face just simply didn't fit the legs/body anymore. When I drop the hemline all is in better harmony -- it fits the whole picture -- from head to toe.

I now embrace wearing longer hemlines, to my knee or below. I still have great legs, they are just now seen in a longer skirt.

BTW, I will still wear a bathing suit at the beach or pool (a one piece, please) so it's not like I think I need to hide myself now, but I don't find dressing age appropriately a punishment for growing older.

So this is my two cents worth.

celia

Veteran

It really bothers me the notion that we have to hide our bodies because we are fat/arms are sagging/legs have celulite/we are over 40/ you name it.
The reason why I like fashion is because there are cuts/colors/fabrics that enable every woman to look her best, to show that they have great skin, gorgeous eyes, great legs, etc.
And usually wearing tight, short and skimpy doesn't flatter anyone at any age.

T-Rex

Veteran

Mander, the micro mini with sky high platform stilettos would have looked odd to me, too. But they would have looked just as odd on a younger woman. My thought would be "She is trying too hard".

Claudia, you should dress for your own comfort level, period. Pressure to keep dressing "young", whatever that is, is just as bad as pressure to start dressing "old" or "mature".

Personally, I like it best when people my age (I'm 47) flaunt *1*, or at most 2, "age appropriate" rules. When you do that, the feature you are trying to show off really shows. And it indicates to everyone that you know exactly what you are doing. You aren't just some middle aged woman in denial, continuing to wear teenage clothes because you think doing so will somehow stop the clock. Instead, you look like a woman who knows her own strengths, and who isn't hemmed in by arbitrary rules.

Claudia

Veteran

Celia, Angie does not believe in covering up and hiding body parts, but she does believe in age appropriate dressing.

Lisa

Veteran

This is a very interesting topic. I do think as one ages, the style of dress will change. Maybe because you learn about proper fit or the proper colors that will flatter best, or maybe it's because you have finally figured out your style and just stick with it. I don't think there is any one set rule for how to dress at any age. People are different in taste, body type, lifestyle etc, so grouping everyone to one style of dress by just age seems too daunting a task to me.