Michelle- I am so sorry! I missed you post last time. I've gained some weight back too, and I know how hard that is. Good for you for hiring a trainer. I'm glad it's working out. I hope that things can settle down in your relationship- like everything the uncertainty is worst.

I'm not just trolling the internet searching for diseases that I might have. In fact, I have been having symptoms to some degree that I have been ignoring for the past two years. I've been doing serious research into autoimmune diseases because my son is going through the diagnostic process with a rheumatoligist. Every time I read something about Lupus, I found another aspect that fit my condition- until finally I couldn't deny it. I finally went to the doctor because the pain was so bad that I couldn't walk all the way around the grocery store or stand to cook a decent meal. I appreciate everyone's concerns, but this is the way that I need to deal with this right now. If it isn't Lupus- great, then I will be loaded with information to help me deal with anyone else that I come across with the disease- and that's not a bad thing.

Thanks for the support, Khris/Isabel/Angie/everyone. Isabel, you'll be glad to know that just last nighit I cooked up a huge batch of a dish that features kale (along with chicken, barley, lentils and other veggies). It's savory and spicy and I love it, and I know it will give me a boost.
Khris, glad you found a coping mechanism that works for you. As an information hound, I totally understand your desire to know as much as you can and to find it on your own terms. Again, good luck with the whole process! *hugs*

Michelle - great ! And it is really good for iron blood levels.

Khris - you are absolutely correct....you need to deal with it in the way that brings you the most peace and control over it. Since this has been going on for so long, I do hope that they find something that can be very easily addressed and doesn't feel like a life sentence. I am also very sad to hear that your son is going through this. Good Luck.

Michelle - not to go off topic, but that sounds really good. Is the recipe online? I LOVE kale. I am glad to hear it cures everything.

Khris - Just wanted to pipe up that I also deal with medical issues by informing myself as much as possible and find it constructive in my case. It also helps me to feel confident that the best course of treatment has been chosen when I understand the issues and what is known. If you have access somewhere to academic journals check out UpToDate for information.

Besides that I am sending good thoughts to everyone.

I am sad to hear that our fab YLF family is suffering in any way but know that this is part of life and hope we can be a sounding board and as Angie says, a positive force for each other.

My parents just visited, and even two days together was such a boost. I feel like a new person. Sometimes a little change of pace, a visit, or a short trip, does so much for me. I hope everyone else can find a little something to help their spirits!

Khris, Im really hoping the tests come back negative, but dont be suprised if they are 'inconclusive'...I was tested 3 times over a 18 month period for Lupus and thats all I got for results. That was a couple yrs ago, so maybe they've improved the testing...chronic illness of any kind is definitely life-changing, thats for sure. I went from being active, working 2 jobs and on my feet for about 15 hrs a day to not being able to work *at all* in a few yrs. Severe Fibromyalgia, bulged and deteriorating discs in my back and kidney problems (from 100% to 30% function) are to blame....Ive also gained about 35-40 pounds from the inability to move around much and hypothyroidism and the kidney issue...which is *really* getting me down- I was heavy before that happened...you learn to make adjustments- mentally, emotionally and financially..I now need to use a cane for very short distances and use a walker if its over 1/2 block that I need to go....it takes time to adjust and some days are always going to be hard, but you're a strong willed lady- I know you will be fine.....PS- I also hate to see non-handicapped people use the spots designated for those who are, but PLEASE keep in mind not all handicaps are visible! Heart trouble, breathing difficulties, cancer are a few that come to mind......

Biscuitsmom, I am saddened by what you go through regularly. Fibromyalgia is just horrible and add to that the spinal stuff.....gosh.

You bring up a great point that not all handicapped people have visible handicaps !!! I had to smile because you probably think I go around in a mask and tights standing in front of cars !!! I was dressed in street clothes : ) I had never done it before nor since.

These kids were older teenagers. They sat in the car kissing and then the young man, who was driving, actually got out and jumped over the car that had stopped at the cross walk to let him crossover to the bank. We were all furious that he was taking up a handicap space and jumping over cars. But, yes, maybe he did have a problem : arrogance.

Hang in there !!!!

LOL! You are so sweet, girl! What a idiot he is! Yeah, Ive seen some obviously strong, healthy people misuse them too, and it really gets to me...one literally ran into and out of the store...I felt like tripping him-lol! Thanks for your understanding and support- it means a lot to me I guess its a sensitive subject for me because both me and my sister (who has multiple serious health problems) have been harassed, as well as my mother (who has passed away) someone wrote 'handicapped, my ass' on her car on one of the very rare occasions she left the house and she was in tears when she saw that....

Just wanted to add my well wishes to everyone. You are all strong and inspirational women.

Woo hooo!!!! I am still having an overly crummy week (problems with my doc, and insurance issues from my car wreck) but I thought I would share some good news with you ladies!

I found a pair of running shoes to replace mine!!!!!!! (yes, I am overly excited about this). Sure, they may not be a "fashion" purchase, but I really needed to replace mine and was struggling because my favorite pair had been discontinued. Even though they don't really add to my wardrobe as a fashion item, I really needed them and it feels so good to find at least one of the pieces I have been struggling with! I also really like one of the sweatshirts I had ordered earlier to wear around the house and to the grocery (with jeans). Still not a fashion item, but it is warm and I was worried because the other two pieces I ordered that came in earlier are questionable.

My stress test didn't go well. I was dizzy and on the verge of blacking out, but unfortunately the test wasn't able to determine the cause. Also, during the test I didn't have any of the events I have been having while exercising and just getting around, so no help there. My doc doesn't seem to care about symptoms I feel but he can't qualitatively test, like dizziness, lightheadedness, exhaustion, and brain fog. He seems only to be concerned about blood pressure and heart rate.

On another note, I want to lend hugs and support to all of you that were also feeling down this week and are dealing with pain or testing or just blahness!

I also wanted to comment on the things that people have said about handicap parking. Thank you ladies for the support there. While I know there are lots of people with invisible disabilities (mine is) and lots of people with illnesses that flare that might not need parking all the time but just sometimes or in bad weather, it really irritated me when the first bad weather of the season means that every handicapped space close to the buildings I need are full (when they normally aren't). Particularly since many did not have hang tags or plates in the window. I too try to save spots for people that might need them to get wheelchairs out of vehicles, ect. if I can find a non-handicapped spot in the lot I can manage to walk from. The college has limited near parking and I honestly thing that the cold and pouring rain convinced some students to take advantage of the handicap spots because they new the meter maid wouldn't be out checking in the horrible weather.

Lets hope this next week is a bit brighter for everyone!

Elly- I'm glad you were able to replace some needed items. That is always a great feeling. It's frustrating when tests don't reveal clear cut answers and doctors don't seem to be concerned. I hope they can figure that out soon.
Thanks for updating us. I go back to the doctors on Thursday.

I have been quietly following this and the related NSFF threads with great interest. While my physical health is excellent, life has plunged me far into NSFF territory. At the beginning of the month I lost my older sister quite suddenly. Although she battled a myriad of health problems most of her adult life, her death was completely unexpected. Combining that with a move from working in an office every day to working at home and the change of seasons just not looking awful every day is a win.
I had planned on September being the month to gear up my fall wardrobe what with it being my birthday month. But just getting caught up on laundry and getting my closet put back together from the earlier turmoil of this month has really wiped out my ability to focus on any of it for more than a few moments at a time.
I keep heading back here to YLF, commenting on occasional posts, mostly just reading, hoping it will keep me connected and get me back in the game.
Being well dressed really helps me feel better about myself but these days, it's just a battle to get dressed.
To my YLF sisters battling health problems, my thoughts are with you. Doctors can some times be very frustrating and the waiting can be the worst. My sister's battle just to get a real diagnosis lasted years. Here's to hoping your road to better health will be a short one.

*hugs* to Refugee, so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. That and the other changes in your life can really knock you for a loop. In my experience, trying to make myself feel better before I'm ready can backfire, but definitely keep doing the things that matter to you and things will smooth out eventually.

The overall effect of this thread on me has been to make me feel less sorry for myself - which I needed! I've been having symptoms of rapid heartbeat since the spring, probably due to the effects of a medication change, but no one has been able to tell me why it's continued after I discontinued the medication or whether it's something serious. It's frustrating to see multiple doctors and still get no answers. And it's not totally debilitating, just uncomfortable and unnerving, so it's tempting to just give up on the doctor and live with it, but then I'm afraid that in a few years someone will say "oh, this has been doing hidden damage to you."

BUT - how fortunate I am, really. I'm still able-bodied and most of the time feel OK. I have a predisposition toward depression and I have to work really hard not to just get discouraged and stagnant. So, this week I went to the drugstore and got a bunch of new toiletries/cosmetics and have been using them, and made a bunch of appointments for next week - dentist, haircut, eyebrow wax. I still have to schedule one more medical test, but I'm not going to put it off anymore. Getting sick makes me think about my own mortality but I need to use it to motivate me to do the things that are important, not freeze in terror.

Refugee, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Please give yourself time and permission to grieve and don't be too impatient to think you ought to be "accomplishing" all sorts of things. My sympathies to you and your whole family.

Hello everyone. I am catching up here and sorry to hear about all these health and life issues. My heart goes out to you.

Refuge, so sorry to hear about your sister. I can see how this would be a very difficult time. Everyone deals with loss differently, but if you can find a moment it might help to add a few new fun pieces to your wardrobe-- not saying anything other than sometimea it makes it easier to face the day when you have something to put on that will make you smile. Last year was a very tough year for me as well, I lost 5 close family members. Only one had been in bad health, so they were all horrible surprises. Sending hugs to you . .

Refugee- I'm so sorry for your loss. What a tragic shock.

Refugee-I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. Just take one day at a time and sometimes one hour at a time. You need to grieve at your own pace.

Refugee - I, too, am very saddened to hear of your sister's death.

DebbieK is right, you need to handle this on your on terms and time. Let us know if there is anything that we can do.

Ugh- my doctor's office called again last night and wants me to re-do one of the blood tests because it was slightly abnormal. They are probably going to have to use my other arm- I still have bruises from last time. I hope these results are in by my appointment Thursday.

ugh...sorry chewyspaghetti. i was just talking to my husband last nite about how far medicine has come yet just how limited things are when it comes to diagnosis. my Father in law is in frightful health and no one can seem to figure out whats wrong. very concerning is how in the matter of a few weeks he's lost over 30lbs. last we heard the doctor wasnt worried about that bc "he needed to lose weight anyway". i'm pissed off....wth? right now the focus is getting him to try a different doctor since this one is clearly a crackpot.

First, thanks to everyone for your support and warm thoughts. It does make it easier to get through all of this.
Khris, on the bright side they let you know ahead of time about the need for additional blood work. Imagine how frusgtrating it would have been to show up for your appointment on Thursday only to be told 'since we need new blood work we really can't do much today. Let's draw the new blood work and have you set up another appointment.' Hang in there.

Oh lady- how scary!

Refugee- they have other bloodwork they did and new meds that they put me on, so there would still be reason for the visit. This is the third time they have called me since my appointment two weeks ago- it's getting annoying. What's really annoying is that the abnormal result that they got is just what you would expect from Lupus- and re-doing the test just means that *I* am now going to have to pay for it twice since I haven't met my annual insurance deductible yet.

Chewy--- oww! I hate that. One time they had to bring in the doc that draws the neonates and he had to numb a vein because they had used every site on me and blown one in my hand. Don't be too sure about the Lupus yet-- false borderline positives don't mean much, I have had several for several conditions but the repeat test usually clears it up.

Ouch Elly ! Boy you have been through a lot ....

Lady - what is happening to your father-in-law infuriates me. The doctor is bordering on malpractice !!! His disdain and prejudice toward overweight people is undeniable.

I would suggest that if you have a teaching hospital near by, that you call or make an appointment. If not, call the AMA and ask where to start and for a recommendation in your area. There are also several websites that rate doctors and Angie's list.

This guy needs to have a complaint filed against him, though right now your father-in-law's needs to be the priority !!

Good luck and keep us updated, please.

I had my follow up appointment today- the only thing that the bloodwork showed was borderline anemia (which is very common for Lupus). I did manage to get the urine test done that he wanted to do last time and forgot, and a higher dosage of my medication prescribed (which is helping, but not doing enough) My doctor is sending me to a rheumatologist since the tests are not proving anything at this point. I still feel like it's Lupus, and I just hope that I can get a diagnosis soon and move on to feeling better.

I hope you can get a diagnosis soon, too. So frustrating. Hang in there.

CS.. maybe it's just anemia.. it's very commum on women! Think positive!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anemia doesn't cause excruciating pain in most of your joints Rute, or most of my other symptoms. He wouldn't be sending me to a rheumatologist if he thought that was the only problem. I just want them to figure out what is wrong so that they can start to deal with it.

Khris, sending you and the others support and well wishes. I hope that the doctors will be able to get to the bottom of this soon. Hang in there and know that you are in our thoughts.