AG this is very similar to the feelings I have been having lately - see my in a rut thread LOL
The outside influence thing is the biggest that I'm trying to work on at the moment.
PRE-YLF I had no style whatsoever, so when I started here I was happy for all and any outside influences I could get, but now I'm really on the track to working out what is me vs outside influences.
I so totally agree with April that this journey can be a blessing and a curse!! But, any growth in life worth it has ups and downs, so I figure this is a significantly good thing!