Now I Am AFRAID to Start...... - YouLookFab Forum

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Now I Am AFRAID to Start......

NDMom

After a serious closet purge, you can about imagine how many clothes I have left!

So yesterday, after the thrift store picked up and drove away with bags and bags of my clothing, I am now too afraid to buy anything for fear of "wasting" money by not buying the right things.

Have you all gone through this too? What can I do to overcome this fear?

PS....I am a 47 year old SAHM, or in YLF terms... a MOTG who really doesn't get out much :)..... I have five kiddos....three with special needs. Not sure if that matters in this conversation, but I suppose it will affect the clothing I buy in the future.

General

14 replies

Latest reply was from krishnidoux

Kafe

Good question. As a SAHM/MOTG, who also doesn't get out much, I understand your wonderment. I too only want to fill my closet with good, useful stuff.

New bras? New jeans? New jacket? Those are the things I started with. Oh, and new boots too. What sort of things do you think you are needing first?

Sylvia

(website)

Have you gone through all the exercizes and threads here on YLF that talk about style? I started my own thread on this topic ( http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....re-style-1) and through the answers and some other YLF members threads and Angies blog posts, I read a lot about how to identify your own style. I think that if you have a clear idea about what your style is, you will find it easier to buy the right things.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Welcome NDMom!
I didn't really go through that fear because I revamped my wardrobe when I was losing weight. I just figured that even if what I bought didn't work out, I would loose more weight and be able to get rid of it in a fairly short period of time. Now that my weight is more stable, I do sometimes not buy things because I don't want to "waste"
my money. I think you can't go wrong with well fitting staples, though. Do you have a good pair of jeans and a few tops? I guess if you really want to do a proper overhaul then a haircut and bra fitting would be first, then the clothes.
Sometimes, having special needs kids is sort of like having younger kids. You will want to take into consideration what their needs are in regards to what that requires of you and your wardrobe (like if they need to be lifted frequently you will want things that don't get in the way ), or if eating/feeding them is an especially messy job then you will want to make sure your clothes are machine washable (and hide stains with patterns). If they tend to pull on necklaces, then you can look for bracelets instead, etc. You can take some time thinking about that and make a list of what you need and don't need for your clothes before going shopping.
Good luck!

Lisa

Veteran

Great suggestions here already. I think it's really helpful to focus on the basics first. A good fitting pair of jeans, bras, shoes, and knit tops. Then you can branch out with layering options such as cardigans and blazers. The care of items may be very important, if you are really busy trips to the dry cleaners may not work and that will help eliminate some clothing items.

MsMary

Veteran

Welcome, NDMom!! When I was starting out I did a lot of shopping at the consignment store and the thrift store, so any mistakes weren't too costly. And, like Chewy, I was losing weight so any mistakes would be "undergrown" eventually anyway.

I also had great luck with a few pieces that were specifically recommended by Angie for my body type -- the first things I bought were some cardigan sweaters from the Gap, and I'm still wearing them!

NDMom

Thanks for the great replies, Ladies!

Sylvia: Thanks for your link to your post. I think I know what my style is but my problem is how I can make it work as a SAHM. (Modern Classic) I will definitely do my homework!

Chewy: You are so right on with having clothes that will work around my kiddos. I have to remember to check that items are machine washable for sure! Thanks for putting into words what I needed to hear! I wear my hair short, but want an even more updated short do. My stylist is going to a conference in San Diego in a few weeks and she said she signed up for classes on short do's....I will be updating my short cut then. I am trying to lose weight too and would really like some premium denim, but will use it as a reward when I get down there a bit.

Lisa....Thanks for the reminder to get wash and wear! I am going to focus on the basics! I teach a class at our local university a couple of times a week, so I will be able to utilize "good" clothes then. Oh, and church & date night too!

MaryK.....That's a great idea to go to consignment and experiment as I am trying to lose weight too. I love the look of long cardigans to cover my ample "bumper", so I will have to search this site for some recommendations and look at the Gap too!

Thanks again....you ladies are great!

qfbrenda

Veteran

Don't be afraid! You don't have to go replace your wardrobe this week. You will still make mistakes sometimes and that's ok. It's a slow progression to improve your closet.

I would find out your body shape. That will help narrow down what styles will best flatter your body.

I would make sure you have bras that fit well.

It sounds like you have your hair well in hand.

Next, I would start looking at the MOTG (mom on the go) outfit formulas. Perhaps you have found them already, but in case you haven't:

http://youlookfab.com/category/mom-on-the-go/

That will give you ideas of pieces you will need to slowly locate to put together some of those formulas. I recommend making a list of sorts, if you are a list maker, of different clothing items you want to track down. I do that and it helps me focus my efforts towards the things I need the most at the moment.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Everyone has already given you lovely advice. All I can add is what I've learned the hard way: it's okay to return! I especially love a good keep/return post.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

oh NDMom, i can so empathize! money is generally tight around here, or at least not lying around in huge piles, so i tend to get super nervous about spending ANYTHING!

about a year, year and a half ago i started to really get on re-vamping my wardrobe. in the beginning i did a lot of wearing consignment/goodwill clothes, and 'hand me downs' from friends and family. i'd shop sales, use coupons and make sure EVERYTHING was returnable. i also sew, i did a lot of re-fashioning things and making 'test' garments out of really cheap fabrics.

in the end i was able to do a LOT of experimentation with what i liked/didn't like before spending any significant amount of $$.. now if i spend more money i am much more confident in my choices - it's a very nice feeling.

don't forget to check out goodwill/consignment shops in different areas around where you live. close to my house even so so items are pretty pricey, but 10 minutes down the freeway it's bargains galore for much nicer merchandise.

Good luck and have fun!! it can be done steph

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

ebay is great for premium denim at a non premium price! Go to a store that has lots of brands to try them on, and when you find a style that fits great and you love- check ebay for it. Or try a pair of Gap jeans.

catgirl

Veteran

My advice is when you find something you love, don't go overboard until you know it will last. The first MOTG outfit that clicked for me was skinnies and tunics - little did I know I would find other formulas too!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I usually think about a general type of item I think I need or want and then try to imagine, and sometimes I literally go through my clothing, how it would work in to outfits with item I own. Then, when I'm out shopping I have a more practical filter so I can avoid buying "orphans" or items that I don't have any occasion to wear. Sometimes I even wear a potential outfit to shop in, minus the target item, so I can be certain the item I'm buying will work. (I can't always do this, depending on what I'm shopping for)
If I were you at this stage I would look at the formulas for MOTG and pick out one that I like and have a fair amount of the items in the formula for, then go find the other pieces and start from there.

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

You've had lots of advice, but what has happened for me, and as Rae says, is trying things and then returning them (post pictures here for advice). I've got a lot more fussy now, and I buy and return a lot, and take loads of things into fitting rooms, but don't buy anything. It's part of the process - trying and discarding until you can see what it is that fits you and your lifestyle and your style.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Also, think about revamping your lounge wear, or the clothes you wear inside your home. There are some really nice things out there, very put together, cute, and flattering. Here are some ideas:

- (Nice) yoga clothes, such as bra-integrated cami and yoga capri length bottoms. I know they are over-rated, but I find Lululemons are made with heavier, more resistant fabrics and keep their shapes. Top this with a tunic, a large cardigan, a jeans skirt or a dress-shirt. I find the yoga clothes withstand many washes as when I am busy at home I tend to sweat so much! (pre-menaupose maybe).

- High end sportswear white t-shirts as a basic, to be worn under anything. I mean the ones with sweat absorbing fabrics that cost more $. You only need 2, really. You can even do one white, one of another color. If they are of a good quality, they will withstand frequent visits in the machine washer. If they are of bad quality, well, er...
Note here: buy a Tee that matches your shape i.e. long or short torso. There is nothing worse than a Tee that is too short, and wont stay put under the belt, or one that bunches up at the tummy.

- Same: high end sportswear white tanks, preferably more structured around the breasts. You can even wear them under a tailored jacket.

- In the winter, if you live somewhere where it is cold, try interesting wool or tights or leggings - it needn't be outrageous, for example: a lighter gray instead of black, marine blue, plum...

- Express individuality, funky or classic, on your feet: comfy, warm, polka dots socks, leopard ballerinas, babouches, etc. whatever works best for you and your interior (carpet, floor...).

- Think also about investing in what you will need to wear with those clothes to go outside for an errand (when you are indeed on the go). For example your dressier heeled tall boots won't match with cute wool leggings. There is also an opportunity to have fun and express your style. For example, fun rain boots, or army style booties. They must be warm and comfortable, because SAHM wearing lougewear may sound like rest, but as I'm sure you know, it is anything but.

- During fall, winter: have fun with tuques and scarves! Ones that look (or better, are) handmade look the cutest. It is also an opportunity for a punch of color. go for something that illuminate your complexion, matches your eyes. Then you won't need any makeup to go out while still looking good. Important when every minute is counted.

- Same with umbrella. http://youlookfab.com/2011/09/21/umbrella-style/

- A very cute, possibly A-line, roomy, colorful raincoat.