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Not "too good" to wear

Thistle

Veteran

I have an issue with buying the perfect piece, and then never wearing it, usually because it is a more expensive piece. Take, for example, my EF sweater jacket. It bought it back in December, and it sat in my closet for over a month and a half. I have a leather blazer from Nordies that has sat in my closet for over a year and a half because they are "too good" to wear.

No more. I cut the tags on the EF sweater and am wearing it today. The tags on that leather blazer are coming off as well and I will find a way to wear it.

How about you? Any of you ever do this? How do you convince yourself to stop?

Dressing

37 replies

Latest reply was from gradfashionista

Ruth M

Thistle, yes, I used to do this too - particularly if I had no particular special occasion in mind when I bought it, which would have forced me to wear it straight away. I would sit on the "special" piece for years, then bring it out for some special event, only to discover that it now looked dated.

I've been helped partly just by learning from these disappointments. But also, I do sometimes stand in front of my open wardrobe and repeat out loud Angie's mantra to "wear the heck out of your clothes". Only when no one else is in earshot, you understand!

I hope you enjoyed wearing your EF sweater today, and look forward to hearing about progress on wearing the leather jacket.

approprio

(website)

Veteran

Glad you've taken the tags off these lovely things out and you're going to show them the light of day!

The only reason I ever have for this is if they are delicate fabrics or difficult-to-wear statement pieces. I have an exquisite blazer by Ann Demeulemeester which is not pulling its weight because it's silk velvet and I'm terrified of getting rained on. But I do wear it in the summer.

So I think it's OK to keep the refined pieces for occasional wear, and make more regular use of the durable everyday workhorses, but it's pretty fabulous to break out something that you might be thinking of keeping "for best" on a regular work day. Because, you know, fun.

Author Linda

Veteran

I used to do this. It took me years to realize I was buying into the "I'm not good enough (thin enough, pretty enough, classy enough)" thinking that stemmed from my childhood. What woke me up was when my grandmother died and we found her closet and drawers filled with lovely items she never wore or used. And it was like, why didn't she? And it hit me. Same thing I was doing.

Now I wear everything I buy. Instead of wearing clothes that are just okay, I wear clothes I really, truly love. Even sweatpants, because there are many kinds of love. But I no longer stash away the cashmere.

K.M.

Veteran

Hahaha, yes, I totally identify! And like Ruth M, that would often mean pulling out the "too good" pieces and discovering they were outdated (or sometimes--even worse--deformed by sitting too long on the hanger).

On the upside: your post made me want to pull out a special piece asap. I'll try to wear one tomorrow.

Joyce B

Veteran

Been there, done that and still doing it!
Enjoy your EF top and your leather jacket.
I have no wisdom to share to encourage you to wear rather than wait for the perfect piece, particularly on expensive items. My wisdom would be opposite and not helpful.
Do enjoy your new garments, you deserve them!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I used to do this, but not any more. With the exception of not wearing suede booties in the rain or something like that. Just like you, I finally realized the habit and just put the darn item on one day - and that was that! I think once you make the change in your habit, it's easier moving forward.

I really try not to buy anything "special" these days unless it's truly for a special event, then I'm wearing it for that event or keeping it as part of a very small special event capsule. Otherwise, if I buy an item now, I'm wearing it within a week or two, or it likely needs to go back.

Eirlys

As a child/teenager during WW2 with clothes rationing I had very few clothes to my name. School uniform was a blessing. Anything else was "Sunday best"!

As a result I have become a pack-rat. Nothing is given, or thrown away, until our lovely daughter forces me to take stock and I end up with bags of clothes that have either never, or been rarely worn, ready to hand on to her and to her friends, or ultimately to charity.

My husband constantly tells me I have a "best-dressed" wardrobe as I enjoy organising styles and colours. Some garments cost a bit; others are vintage and so are beautifully made. (I won't find that quality today, I tell myself.)

Every day I wear a "uniform": black trousers, white blouse, colourful cardigan.

After reading the above I have made a late 2015 resolution: I shall wear something different twice a day : one outfit for the day and one for the evening.

In this way maybe all my clothes will get an airing!

Summer

Veteran

I have two items "haunting" me in my closet at the moment. One is a knee length navy coat, bought to wear to funerals (after feeling frozen to the bone at a couple of grave-side services). The other is a lace dress bought for a recent wedding. I have intended to casualize both of these, but haven't done so yet. I'm hoping to wear the coat for my next shopping trip, dressed down with jeans and boots, but the dress may have to wait a while for its next outing.

My strategy now, when buying dressier items, is: 1) not to spend a fortune, and 2) to buy simple, versatile pieces that can easily be dressed up and down. Lesson learnt!

E

Veteran

Yes! Back in 2010 I suddenly realized I'd thrifted all of these clothes I loved, but I only wore them when I left the house (not terribly often), saving them for those days, and was wearing boring loungewear the rest of the time. So I cut loungewear out of my life, started wearing my regular clothes just for me, lived happily ever after.

I'm glad you started wearing that jacket! It sounds delicious.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Yup, I do this. A couple of classic examples popped into my head as I was reading this.
1. I bought a pair of blue silk track pants on sale at the end of the summer 2013. By the time I got them, it was getting cool to wear them, so I put them away for 2014. I used them for my Challenge Chain travel wardrobe last year, so I DID virtually wear them last spring. Then the season for them came around, and every time I thought of wearing them "I might spill something on them" or "I might sit in something". So I've now had them a year and a half and worn them twice :(.
2. Another example only different. Not sure if you saw my EF drape neck dress K/R a couple of weeks ago, but I have a black one, and love it, but ... it's black. Thought I'd like a more summery coloured one. Found a great price for one on eBay, and took a gamble with the colour. Well, the colour is not my best, but I'm going to keep it, because it was inexpensive, I can't return it, and because it's not the best on me, I feel I will wear it (and travel with it) without worrying about it. So the workhorse will be the not so flattering one. How stupid is that!!?

Catnip

Veteran

Thistle, I used to do this a lot. Finally I realized it's a habit I learned from my mother. I guess the idea was that I should feel good because I had something brand new and terrific sitting in my closet. Needless to say, this doesn't work.

I'm amused because last fall I bought an EF sweater jacket. Since I'm retired it's slightly dressier than many of my everyday clothes. I've worn it to several dressier occasions with various tank tops and necklaces, but I've had to force myself to wear it for my usual daytime life. Finally I found the solution, and wear the sweater jacket with a cotton turtleneck and straight legged jeans (not distressed). This works well and gets lots of compliments.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

You go girl! You are much more precious than even the most expensive clothes and totally deserve them!
Usually it does not happen to me. First of all I am very careful to get things which are right for my lifestyle. Secondly I am too much excited about my new stuff so I tend to start wearing them right away if I can!

Anonymous

I have been very guilty of this in the past, but then, I also bought too much stuff for my fantasy life, so it was a double whammy. Now, I buy more for my lifestyle and I try to wear my stuff...result!

celia

Veteran

I do that more than I should. And I think, as Linda pointed, it has to do with lingering feelings of not being 'good enough'.
Good job that you cut the tags

Aquamarine

Veteran

Sadly, I am guilty of this too but I have gotten better. It doesn't apply to just clothes either...it's just a mentality of keeping some things "nice." Like Catnip, I think this is from my mother. Or grandmother, who kept her couch encased in plastic! Luckily, I have not passed this tendency onto my daughter so I consider this progress.

Lyn D.

Veteran

Not 'too good to wear'- please wear and enjoy- life is too short….

Anonymous

Guilty as charged. And have to admit I think Linda and Celia 's thoughts re: not being good/thin/pretty enough are mine too. That resonates through just about everything in my life, sadly. Getting better at that, but you'd think by 53 that would have been resolved. Blech - now I'm in a funk about this .....

Anonymous

This is my number 1 resolution for 2015. I am wearing everything in my closet. I have weeded out those items that are worn out and/or just does not fit anymore. What is the purpose of buying these nice things if you don't wear and get enjoyment. So now I am wearing the heck out of my clothes and shoes.

I am pretty much doing the same thing with my makeup and toiletries. Use up the stuff I have opened before opening anything else. For the unopened items that I do not plan to use, I am donating them to a shelter. It is amazing how much more room I have in my vanity cabinets. Also, sold my Clarisonic this weekend. Was not using it so why let it just sit around - (I got it as a gift a little over a year ago that I unfortunately could not return)

shipskitty

Veteran

Lovely work. I look forward to seeing the gorgeous outfits you create with these pieces.

Yes I've done this too. Too good to wear for any occasion. Relegating myself to wearing old stuff around the house. Also purchasing the first practical item I've found (and duplicating or triplicating it) rather than hanging out for something I loved. Net result feeling frumpy and boring and lovely things growing dated in the wardrobe while I was wearing the worn out and 'practical' items I didn't love. Now I try to buy things, lovely things that speak to me, that I can dress up and down and can really WEAR.

DonnaF

Veteran

Yup; I used to do this A LOT, esp. due to having a home office. Like many others here, this was probably learned from my mom. I think I still do this to some extent, but it really helped when I stopped buying DCO stuff. Now, I don't feel that so much of my stuff is too precious to wear. I just bought a silk shirt I really, really want to wear, but I'm holding off for now because I will be traveling next week and I'm not sure that I would get around to washing it (if needed) and having it dry in time to stash in my suitcase.

I don't have little ones, and at home I always, always, always wear an apron. Except when I go out to meet Rand, my UPS guy. The apron really protects my clothes from general grubbiness and is a psychological inoculation. Learning to wear the nice or at least nicer stuff is really a process. One day at a time, one day at a time.

missvee

Veteran

My mom used to do this, but she grew up during the Depression and good clothes were hard to come by, and something nice was treasured and saved for 'best'.
Whenever I hesitate to wear something I ask myself why did you buy this? Did you buy it so your closet would look nice, or did you actually intend to wear it? That seems to put things into perspective for me :-).
Btw I just saw your other thread, and the EF jacket looks great. I bet it will become a workhorse for you now that it's had its maiden voyage.

Marilyn

Veteran

The fear of wasting a great outfit on an insignificant day. It's a real thing!

anne

Veteran

I can relate, in that I rip off my work clothes as soon as I come home to "save" them. And I have had to talk myself into wearing a t-shirt that only cost me $6 at Kmart 2 years ago - yes, just because it is still in good condition I can wear it at home! And I have bought items intending them for lounge wear, but then thought they were nice enough to wear out, and found myself saving them for that!

In a way though, I'm less likely to do it with the nice, expensive things because I am conscious of CPW. So it in order to justify to myself to buy a more expensive item I'll say to myself - now you need to wear this once a week (or whatever)

Anonymous

This thread reminds me of a person I used to know who, when talking about his childhood, said, "If you measure how much good we had by how many times we used the fine china, we didn't have much good." I think it's great to go ahead and use nice things. When my DD accidentally broke my teapot, I took the opportunity to treat myself to a beautiful Polish pottery teapot. Of course I hope it won't get broken, but I use it daily and it looks so nice sitting on my kitchen counter. So go ahead and wear your "too good" clothes. The perfect time to wear them is now--not after they go out of style. Besides, there's no better time than the present.

Susie

Veteran

I don't not wear my nice things, but I do sort of plan their first wearing or two. Like Marilyn said, I don't want to waste something new on an insignificant day! But after a time or two, the urge to save it is gone and it goes into (hopefully) regular rotation.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I can honestly say I don't do this, and really never have. If I buy it, I'm wearing it!

Echo

Veteran

Thistle, I did this for years. And I would "save" the nicest items until they either weren't current or until I didn't WANT to wear them anymore. How sad to let items I was so excited about go to waste.

But I've taken two approaches. First, I've stopped buying for my "fantasy life", where I buy things that are inappropriate for the situations in which I find myself daily. Second, if I buy it, I make an effort to wear it within a week. If I don't, or if I make excuses not to wear it, I generally take it back.

But you are so right that real life doesn't wait for special occasions. Now, if I buy nice items, I intend to wear them as much as I can. They will often become dated or old whether I wear them or not, and it's a shame to let something go when I haven't ever worn it. Nice things, even the ones with higher price tags, are intended to be used. Better to use them and get my money's worth.

Ginkgo

Veteran

I remind myself how sick how I feel to open a drawer and take out an item that I'd loved (but saved) and see that it just looks too dated now, that its moment is gone. Better that it lived its life and got spaghetti sauce on it than never emerged from the gloom of the drawer or closet.

AM

Veteran

For this very reason I'm trying to make more significant days. Visiting the local coffee shop, bakery, book store, boutique. Planning ahead for day trips (Philadelphia Flower Show). Finding ways to be festive at home -- a better happy hour with a new cocktail (Moscow Mule in copper mugs). I sympathize. Just want to feel like there is an occasion for slipping on that special piece. Added bonus, there may be more fun to be had!

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