Not my mother's daughter! - YouLookFab Forum

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Not my mother's daughter!

Carla

Veteran

Something Suz wrote on Claire's 'Not Sporty' topic got me thinking about what influence mother's have on their daughter's way of dressing.

My mother was and still is colourful and artistic. She is also all about the 'bling' and has an extensive accessory collection as well as embellished clothing. The only items of embellished clothing I own, were gifts from my mother...a black beret with some black sequins on it, and a close fitting black jacket with rhinestones along the zipper line. (I think I love the jacket because it has stretch and is cut close to the body like Lycra running gear.)

My mother thinks my style is austere and minimalist!

Did your mother's style influence yours?

General

15 replies

Latest reply was from Laura (rhubarbgirl)

deb

Veteran

Yes, her style definitly influenced my style. I swore early in my life that if an article of clothing was something my mom would wear, it was not for me. She was either in pants and a tee, or any color lame', sequins, sweaters and sweatshirts with animals on them, glitter, and any other shiney, sparkly thing she could find. Sometimes all at the same time. She still dresses this way and she is very happy. Gotta love it!!!

kkards

Veteran

absolutely. my mom was trained as a textile engineer, so fabrics were a big deal for her.; often more important than color or style. to this day, i can not shop without touching everything.
my moms style has alway been very conservative, tailored, and corporate, even though she has been retired for 12 years. i think my style is tailored and conservative, but then i'll go shopping with my mom, and i realize that there is a huge gulf between what i think is conservative and what she does.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I do think my mother's style has influenced mine. She dressed nicely as a young woman, within her means, and clearly enjoyed clothes. But I saw her most during the years when she did not bother to dress well (as a MOTG) and I'm afraid that influenced me to do the same for a while.

Then again, at her best, I'd say my mother's style was crisp, understated, mildly androgynous (button down shirts, blazers) yet feminine.

Hmmm. That sounds like me!

I very fondly remember a few of her dresses, and here is the nicest thing. When I was a young teen (age 13/ 14) we lived in the suburbs. She, alone, of all my friends' moms, volunteered to chaperone us to the city for shopping trips. She would make sure we were safe, feed us lunch, and follow along behind us for consultations, while at the same time giving us our space to be "alone" together for gossip and giggles.

It was a great gift, considering she grew up during the depression, and not in the city, and she would never have had such luxury herself. I'm very grateful to her for that. She made us feel that it was okay to have fun with fashion.

Jjsloane

Veteran

Similar to Suz I see photos of my mom from High School and college and she seems so dressed up. I recall her more as a MOTG and making a lot of her own clothes (in the 70's on a budget so lots of Simplicity patterns and sale fabrics from JoAnns)
She recently declared that she now loves LL Bean for the quality and the fit for her (after years of saying it was not her style)
I associate certain styles and colors with her and actually try to shy from them (as I want to be ME) She does not like fashion as much as I do, but we have shared clothing for years (I give her things when I'm over them)
I do think my obsession with the 50's/60's styles are based on seeing her photos.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Interesting, Jeanne. My mom also sewed a lot of her own dresses with Butterick and Simplicity and McCall's patterns in the mid 60s to early 70s. We had mother-daughter outfits, too. We totally had this one, below!

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Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I was just recently thinking how my grandmother influenced my style. She died a little over a year ago at 95. Until the end she was completely in charge and was never seen with a crease in her life, except for the ones razar sharp down the center of her trousers. She ironed her socks! She was POLISHED Floridian - meaning matching pantsuits, frosty blue eye shadow and never a hair out of place. (Actually she wore a wig.) Anyway my style is really diametrically opposed to hers by any measure, yet I know she had a huge influence.

Diana

Veteran

I am another in the "not my mother" camp. My mother's style (which is fantastic) is extremely classic and, in recent years, minimalist. She wears skirts and dresses with heels almost exclusively and does not own jeans, trousers, shorts, or boots. She likes things to be very polished and ladylike, and she ironed everything, including my jeans and my dad's undershirts. Me? I grumble and groan if I even have to look at my iron. =P

However, what we DO share is a love for well-made, well-designed items. Things like Burberry trench coats (although hers is classic beige and mine, when I get it, will probably be black) and Italian leather. So I have plenty of items that she likes and vice versa, we just wouldn't style them in the same way at all.

rachylou

Veteran

Well, now my mum is very practical, preppy. No-nonsense all the way. Interestingly enough, however, she doesn't have an interest in seeing me dress that way. I was raised to be sophisticated and a sophisticated dresser. Frankly, I feel my outfits were more worldly when I was a teenager than they are now.

Aziraphale

Veteran

To some extent, yes. My mom and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, fashion-wise, but I think I have defaulted to her colour preferences, at least. My mom is English, and perhaps because of her working class background she always aspired to be sophisticated and classy. She stayed away from anything bright, garish, or showy (although she wasn't afraid to rock a tiny bikini when she had the body for it - and in her youth, she DID have the body for it, oh my) because she felt it looked "cheap". She always chose classic cuts, quiet prints and a neutral colour palette. Maybe that's why I've developed a general preference for a restrained colour palette. As far as styles go, though, I'm much more likely to choose items with personality -- especially shoes and coats, that sort of thing.

Anonymous

Yes! As much as I try to differentiate from my Mom's style, there are things we have in common. Short, unpolished nails, natural hair color, flat shoes, minimal make-up. My mom is a nut for the color green because she has green eyes. If there is a color choice for anything (paint, furniture, sheets, towels, clothing, cars--anything!) she chooses green. Green makes me look ill so I'm more of a blue person. I avoid most of the clothing styles she has favored over the years because I find them super-unflattering.

DonnaF

Veteran

Hmmm. My mom is pretty matchy-matchy, and I rather like being matchy-matchy. She also has sales blinders and seems to go for quantity rather than quality although her shoes are better than the cheapest of the cheap. She has a few artsy/ethnic pieces like jackets that I like. Unfortunately, she has always been at least several sizes larger than I, so the only things I could hope to wear is her jewelry and socks.

My daughter, now 19, seems to like my post-YLF style, however. I gave her the DV dalmatian print booties I bought for myself after I concluded they weren't comfortable for my feet, and she lusts after my bright blue booties which she ain't gettin'. She also wants my pale gray almost skinny jeans. She will probably want the Tildon oxfords and booties that I long to buy at Nordstrom because after all, they are from the Brass Plum (junior) department are rather flashy and fashion forward for a 60 year old.

My mom, my daughter, and I all have different body types and different skin colors/undertones, so I guess that makes some difference. My mom is very suburban, while DD and I are urban.

krishnidoux

Veteran

I have a very stylish, image-conscious mom and it has certainly shaped my own view of how I should present myself to the world. It is only very recently, in my 40's and YLF was no stranger to this, that I am starting to find MY own true style, which is very not like my mom.

She was flamboyant and very beautiful, looked and styled her hair like Grace Kelly (to the point every time I see a GK picture I jump), and although being petite, suited best boxier, shoulder-heavy styles with below-the-knee pencil skirts. A working professional, she was the queen of power suits, and favoured designers such as Courreges and now defunct Louis-Féraud. Her favourite shop was Rodier, where every thing seemed to fit her. http://www.culturepub.fr/video.....s-assurent . Her jewellery was big, strong and real. She was a huge fan of colour blocking and being a true winter, suited cold, vibrant colours such as true reds and cobalt blues.

I am also petite. But my colouring is all about semi-tones, and I definitively am a Gamine. More the shy 1920's style. She brought me with her to her Rodier boutique and tried many times to suit me up in her style, which was never 100% good on me, and I thought it was because of some lacking on my part. I received many of her hand-me-downs which were too big and the wrong cut, however, being a "poor" student and then a single mom for a while in my earlier life, I wore these outfits because the fabric and make was far superior to anything I could ever afford.

But this imposed fashion created a mental prison for me. It seemed like the wardrobe of a successful woman, which I was not, so I thought, since I could never afford it nor even fit in it. My life was unfolding so completely different than my mom's.

I couldn't fill her power shoulders!

I was secretly attracted to frills, shorter skirt hems and fitting cropped tops. And until recently, thought deep down this attraction was wrong, that it wasn't what a "good" girl should wear.

Today my view of it all has changed 360 degrees. It is true work to undo my subconscious approach to fashion, especially when I shop. I realize that it wasn't because I wasn't good enough, but we were simply not the same types at all. And there are lots of things that I can wear that she couldn't.

My style journey with YLF has been a liberating one so far.

I still love my mom very much, though.

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Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

What an interesting thread! I find it very fascinating to learn about how you perceive yourself in relation your mothers. I'm both my mother's daughter and not, style wise. Most people would agree that we are not very much alike, but then all of a sudden, in a glimpse, we are alike after all.

My mother has always had a complicated body image. She was a little overweight in her youth, but managed through strict dieting to finally reach a size and shape she was happy with after my youngest brother was born. As a young adult I think she was very insecure of how to dress, and whether she was successful at it or not. I remember thinking she often looked very beautiful in the seventies, for example, she had some green trousers and a brown striped blouse I liked very much to see her in.

I don't resemble my mother, I have my father's features. She is taller and several sizes bigger than me. I borrowed her clothes when I was a teenager anyway, to some extent. Everything was roomy in the eighties, so fit weren't an issue for me, I just added a belt. She had a few dresses and a haircut that made her look a bit like Chrystle in Dynasty! Very glamorous. Most often, she wore more down to earth-outfits, but she liked blue eyeshadow, belts, ruffles heels and pearls. She didn't sew at all, bur she helped me learn to sew my own clothes by buying equipment and tutorials for me when she understood my interest in this. This was a precious gift that I didn't fully understand the importance of until much later.

Today she likes strong colors, cute jewelry, long cardigans, scarves and has a more bohemian/arty style in general. Her style is very different from mine, and I find it very difficult to shop clothes for her. She tries to give me jewelry and scarves, sometimes other garments, but very often the gifts are not what I would have picked for myself. I guess we have very different fashion personas:) What we have in common is a love of some colors, an affection for romantic, but our main styles differ. I try to live by "less is more", while she probably thinks "more is better".

I am very grateful that she let me explore my creativity, and never told me - not once - that I wasn't allowed to wear anything because it wasn't appropriate. I dip-dyed and bleached my clothes, dyed my hair flaming red, but never heard anything else from my mother about this than the sweetest compliments. I admire that and love her for it. I looked hideous.

She provided room for me to explore my interests in clothes, fashion and style. That is the greatest heritage she gave me, style-wise. I hope I do the same for my three daughters - who are different from me and each other, although the youngest recently bleached her denim jacket and dyed her hair flaming red.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I wasn't raised by my mom, but by my step mom, who was only in a dress twice that I can ever remember. Her wedding, and my brother's wedding. No makeup ever. Short cropped hair with no product. Tomboy through and through. Into sports. Owned 3 motorcycles. I was tending to my long hair and playing with makeup at 13. Raised in a house of non feminine surroundings, I still like my girly twirly side.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

My mom and I have similar figures (well, we did, before she went through menopause) although she's smaller and shorter than me and has always been a little less busty. We have the same proportions, though - long in the limbs and torso and short in the hip.

Clothes-wise we aren't that dissimilar - she's practical about her clothes as am I most of the time. She's a little more whimsical these days than she was when I was growing up - budget was definitely a concern then; we often shopped at discount stores and probably would have gone to the thrift store had we had one in our town at that time. She also sewed some of my and my brother's clothes which I made fun of at the time because they weren't current to whatever was trendy in school at the time (sorry mom!).