Not Feeling . . . - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing

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Not Feeling . . .

Thistle

Veteran

For so many reasons, I have just not been feeling fashion. I know I look best in my skirts, and a big part of my wardrobe is based on them, but I just don't want to wear them. Tights are a pain, and so is finding appropriate footwear warm enough.

Ugh. I just want to find work appropriate "jammies". I hate winter. And cold. And snow. And endless grey days. I just want to curl up in clothes beyond comfortable, yet okay for the office.

What aren't you feeling lately?

Dressing

26 replies

Latest reply was from Sveta

Eliza

Veteran

Totally understand. The weather and early darkness can put a damper on things. It may be time to embrace a few simple "uniforms" for work, have a couple of great pairs of lounging pants to change into immediately after arriving home and see what comes your way fashion-wise, without feeling pressure. I simply can not abide cold, wet feet and legs either. I do have some fleece-lined tights, but honestly, if they are required, I am in pants anyways. Hang in there, Thistle.

Deborah

Veteran

Thistle it sounds like change of season-itis:) I have every confidence you will move past this:) For me, I am struggling with the fact that our Spring / Summer keeps making small appearances and then disappears... so I am experiencing major seasonal confusion which has sent me into a bit of slump as I don't know from one day to the next what is going to be required in terms of the weather:(

AviaMariah

Veteran

I totally feel you. I finally gave in this year and realized that I AM going to reach for a soft, cozy sweater almost every day. So why not stock up? And I'm trying right now to add some trousers...what a pain. It has just started getting really chilly here and we haven't even had snow yet. Let's just check in from time to time and commiserate with all the other northern YLFers! And stock up on warm jammies...for home of course!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Aww, it sounds like it's that time of the year again

I think jammies are very appropriate for once you get home. I know I'm itching for them on the commute home!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I guess you didn't see my similar post. Right there with you.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

What Deborah said - I go out in sandals & linen & it pours down when the forecast is for fine weather. Then I layer up & it comes out boiling hot, so I'm carrying around half my wardrobe.

I hear what you are saying about dresses & tights. It sounds like you've found a wardrobe hole - the perfect pants for non-tights days

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I sympathize! I have been adding cashmere to my wardrobe every chance I get (when I see a sweater at a price I'm willing to pay, say on end-of-season sales), just for those days. Then I can wear the cozy sweater with a pair of neutral pants and a pretty scarf and call it an outfit.

What I'm not feeling right now: heels. I really love the way I look and feel in my heeled booties, but I've been babying my feet lately. I've been putting in a fair number of miles (running) to prepare for a half marathon, which I just ran on Sunday. So I've been creating outfits around my flats and lowest-heeled shoes.

Also not feeling: skinnies. I realize part of my feeling against skinnies lately is that I've discovered they fit my muscular calves better if I don't wear knee-high stockings under them. But then I'm in a quandary about what to wear on my feet inside my shoes. I'm trying different types of footies and half the time they creep down my heel and under my foot as soon as I'm out of the house!

dustt

Veteran

thistle - I so get the cold weather blues!! - here's what keeps me going.......
1.quality long underwear
2.tights that FIT - a challenge I know but they make a big difference for me
3.thin wool socks to wear all day in my booties/boots that play nicely with the tights
4.Pretty scarves to keep me warm and jazz up a basic outfit
5. Easy on/off warm snow boots and a shoe bag - for the commute and transition to the office.

My personal - not feeling it in the winter are blouses & dresses. I'm a trousers/sweater or skirt/sweater gal most every day I don't have a meeting. Meeting days require a semblance of a suit - and I've got a supporting cast of thin merino turtlenecks to take care of that. Blouses just don't cut it when the temp dips below 30!!

Thistle

Veteran

Anna-I did like your cashmere hoodie post! And I think your other post started me thinking. I bought a couple of pair of pants to try on and that was it in the holiday sales. Even then, there was no love in the buy. Just a need to not wear skirts. Makes me kind of sad as I want to start making more emotional purchases, items I love and that pull on my heart strings.

Sara L.

Veteran

Ugh, I totally understand! I'm already tired of being cold and can't wait for summer. I don't even live in a super cold climate like you do so I can't even imagine how you're feeling.

Gaylene

Veteran

I realized long ago that comfort, simplicity, and texture play a big role in my winter wardrobe. It's easier to love the cold when you feel snug and warm in your clothes. It's also easier to get dressed in the grey cold morning if your work wear feels just as cosy and comfortable next to your skin as your jammies and if you don't have to make too many decisions about what goes with what--navy, black, and charcoal tend to look identical until you get to
work.

Gigi

Veteran

Thistle, I am glad I am not the only one feeling like this! I have been reaching for my frumpiest clothes lately--which are also the most comfortable and the warmest. In a way, I think it's good that we're not feeling the fashion bug too much right now, because if we went shopping, we might buy stuff that we don't end up wearing. I'm planning on watching what my body wants to wear in the next couple of weeks and then trying to shop based on that.

I thought that I would want to wear more pants as the cooler temps set in, but I am reaching for ankle-length skirts every day--I think because they are so easy to layer under (tights, leggings, etc.). I had bought some textured tights in the early fall to have something a little more exciting to wear under the skirts, but they are not warm enough--so they are sitting in the dresser unworn. I will probably be buying more of the wool tights from a place called Natural Baby (online). They are just plain tights in neutral colors, but they are the warmest tights I have found.

I think it really takes time and patience to build a wardrobe that meets your emotional needs for style and figure flattery but also meets your practical needs.

minimalist

Veteran

Thistle, I hear you. It hit me a few days ago: I want a minimal/simple city capsule, and to use the remaining space/budget for mountain gear. Fashion as such won't ever be a serious hobby for me; there's too much I'd rather do. At times, I wonder about the people who "need variety," but I guess that's normal if fashion is a main source of stimulation and interest for them. It's just not where I am. That said, I'm very very grateful to Angie and all those here who provide such helpful insight and direction applicable even to non-stylistas.

Yesterday I bit the laundry-reality bullet and doubled up on some loungewear items for the at-bf's capsule. Also have been making myself wear flowy cardigan's there instead of burying myself in his fleece jacket. Really need some Smartwool or similar thin socks, and cosy infinity scarves, and then the homewear stuff will be covered except for a housecoat.

Dustt's points resonate with me. One of my cosy outfits is a knit dress with tights and riding-style boots, but so far that hasn't made it outside.

And you know what Gaylene said about workwear feeling as good as jammies? I just found out that bf lines his dress trousers with SILK. Haaahahahahah, so that's why he doesn't balk at looking nice every #$%! day.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I totally get where you're coming from. Yesterday and today, I put on a really 'inspired' outfit, wore it for two hours, then changed into something stretchy and snuggly, that I could move in and stretch in, and curl up and read in. The weather is just so chilly and grey and damp, and for my part, I always have this inclination to want to curl up like a cat, and hibernate a bit.

Go easy on yourself. Maybe wear those pants with something comfortable that you really do love, like some cashmere.

Emily

Veteran

Thistle, I'm with you! I worked from home in yoga pants and a big sweater today, and it was glorious.

Peri

Veteran

You know what? Reading your post and these responses, I feel like everyone is having to walk a mile in my (gym) shoes.

I always feel the frustration of dressing around limitations, and how it cuts down my options and makes me reach for things that might not be stylish. And that the looks I admire I may not get to try because I just can't. Knowing the skirts or heels or skinny jeans might look great, but reaching for what I can tolerate on my body instead.

I feel like giving up on fashion about 5 times a week. I get defensive when I read things like "you really have to wear heels with flare trousers" or "bootcuts look frumpy, skinny jeans are so much more current" or "you can't wear yoga pants to (fill in the blank)".

I'm sorry you feel frustrated! I really understand and I think it is possible to dress pretty well and still feel good...I am really trying to hard to get it all managed. And I know this post isn't about me...but I honestly don't mind all this empathy building going on!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Gigi said:

I think it really takes time and patience to build a wardrobe that meets your emotional needs for style and figure flattery but also meets your practical needs.

Truer words never spoken. I have realized myself that when it comes to my work at home wardrobe, I really am mostly about comfort. And that means sweaters -- even though in my out-of-the-house life I far prefer jackets. Sweaters in winter, anyway. I just need to fee warm, cozy, and capable of movement.

That's why I am not feeling my crisp button up shirts. Too fussy layered under sweaters, not warm enough (and too wrinkle prone) worn on their own.

You do look sensational in your skirts. But you also look good in pants. Still -- I get that they are a tougher fit and more problematic -- while at the same time, they're pretty much necessary for the climate. So frustrating. When I get into these funks I sometimes focus for a while on accessories -- shoes, bags, jewellery. Because sometimes it's not a fit issue so much as the sense that we're not easily able to create complete outfits with a given type of piece.

Day Vies

Veteran

Yep work appropriate jammies would be a true gift! I have been attracted to big cozy cowl neck sweaters and chunky scarves as a result. I don't have much of either in my wardrobe because I thought they would make me look like an ice cream cone proportionally. Most of my sweaters are perfect fit or slightly oversized. There are only a rare few that are truly oversized and snuggly. I say try Angie's formula of boot cuts and fluid sweaters. I felt cozy and polished when I tried it.

unfrumped

Veteran

So true-- waaaah for Daylight Savings Time. If you see my pants post it's in line-- skirts look good but I still have to wear pants. I talk a good line with warm tights but when the front come in, I'm all over pants AND underlayers. So I think you do need some fallback pants outfits with nice wrap tops and maybe some jewelry for interest.
Like Suz I am not feeling shirt layers, even thogh i want to be inventive and mixy- matchy and all that. Or anything too fussy. Sweaters worn long and cozy, warm pants, SOCKS, boots.

And this is in the South!

Makrame

Veteran

I am not feeling skirts lately (and with no teaching, I don't have the need to dress in a formal way). I switched over to jeans tucked into boots almost entirely - particularly boyfriend jeans, which feel like work pajamas.

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Maybe you need to find a warm and snuggly sweater in a color that puts some pep in your step -- fuchsia or red or cobalt or chestnut brown or whatever that may be. Until then, I feel for you! Winter gets a little harder to take every year.

Windchime

Veteran

Oh, poor Thistle--it can be depressing to face the long months of cold and dark, can't it? I just can't tolerate feeling cold, so I put together a winter capsule which has WARMTH as an essential starting point for every outfit. I call it my "Bleak Midwinter" capsule, which tells you how I feel about the season! I layer as much as necessary to be comfortable. And on truly awful winter days I'll just wear jeans to work. Fortunately my work lets us dress casually most days. Definitely give yourself permission to change into your comfy jammies, sweats, or similar as soon as you can.

It's helped me to read how other YLFers are dealing with winter. If you think about it, we're one of the few mammals who don't just hibernate all winter. It isn't natural to get up, dressed, and out the door when it's cold and dark outside!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

How about a complete turn around. Flared trousers with warm drapey tops and lots of thermal undies to keep extra warm.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Thistle, I am so pathetically weather oriented that even though it is warm and decidedly not winter like here, I have totally lost my bearings because it has been overcast for three days. Winter is a hard adjustment for lots of us. (And listen to Angie - that sounds great!)

Anonymous

I'm another winter-hater here. My ideal winter outfit is pretty much a cashmere Snuggie. The further my clothes are from that, the more I resent them. And I think you're somewhere way colder than where I am, so you must really have it hard!

I agree with Laura about at least focusing on colors that make you happy in the winter. In my case, I end up gravitating to colors that mentally warm me up. I try to shove cognac or warm metals or plum/burgundy/spice tones into outfits whenever I can, and it does seem to help a little.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Winter gets me too, especially in the footwear department: I have just a couple of boots which are warm enough and slip resistant enough for our winters and I will get sick of wearing them all the time pretty soon!
I find that my favorite colors cheer me up immensely in winter. I am also adding to my sweater collection because as Suz I prefer them to cuddle up. As for the skirts I do wear them sometimes but pants rule in winter. I find slouchy and baggy straight leg pants the best for me: they are comfortable, not dragging through the mud and can go over boots if required. I have 5 pairs now!