Not even unseen dumpy? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Not even unseen dumpy?

avicennia

Veteran

Does anybody else have an aversion to wearing clothes that don’t fit at all well and look dumpy on us even when NOBODY SEES us? I’ve been exercising at home during the pandemic and a key piece of gear was wearing out on me. Trying to be cost-conscious, and limit trips out, I acquired a new item at an excellent price at a discount store (Costco). The the problem is that the cut was wrong for my shape. Try as I might I couldn’t bear to look dumpy, even when unseen by others. So I took out my scissors and hacked the item. It will fray, and it’s longevity will be compromised, but I feel ever so much better. Anyone else ever resisted looking dumpy even when nobody sees you?

Dressing

31 replies

Latest reply was from Stagiaire Fash

MsMaven

Veteran

Absolutely! Sometimes I think I’m a bit weird, but I feel better about the situation if I make some kind of an effort.

Plus, I have these clothes and with lockdown dragging on, by the time I can go out safely again, some items may not fit or even out of style, although with a major recession looming, that may not be the case. What a strange and challenging time.

rachylou

Veteran

See, what’s kinda interesting is I’ll resist dumpy but embrace hot mess...

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Yes, I understand this. I’ll wear visibly worn, torn items around the house before I’ll wear stuff that actually makes me feel dumpy. If it makes me feel dumpy, into the donation bag it goes. I even have a pair of pajama shorts that I’ve been thinking need to go for this reason. I realized I wasn’t wearing them until my husband was out of town for a week, but then thought, if I don’t like wearing them even then, they should go. I have others that are far better.

nuancedream

Veteran

Definitely. Over the past 4 months, I had a number of days in which I had to mightily resist the forces of "pajamification" and "sloblivion" while WFH and not being out in public. I had to look past the overgrown, shapeless hair and take baby steps in making some effort to not look dumpy. Some days, it was a simple as wearing a tailored shirt instead of a workout top or well fitting pants instead of the same pair of old jeans three days in a row. Wearing clothes that do not fit me properly or lower my self-esteem is just bad psychology and I deserve better than that.

Anonymous

Oh yes . I will not wear things - even alone at home - that make me feel unattractive and dumpy . They may not be styled the way they would if I were going out of the house , but they are still decent . Workout stuff especially !

Anonymous

Yep- definitely, though DH sees me all day. I do wear gear when I'm home all day, but it's nice new gear and skorts instead of shorts. It keeps me accountable to work out, which I won't do if I have to change clothes. As it is I'm doing what seems like 17 loads of wash a week :/

LaPed

Veteran

I'll do frumpy but not dumpy. Like, intentional frump is fine for a big vintage shirt with a kooky print, but unflattering sweatpants? No way. I've gotten pretty picky about loungewear, thanks in large part to Angie. So I know have a few pairs of french terry joggers and some drapey camisoles that make me feel pretty classy for pre-coffee, pre-shower first thing in the morning. And yes, sometimes I throw on an oxford shirt without changing out of the sweatpants if I have to Zoom in the morning.

Runcarla

Veteran

With the majority. A bit of wear and tear is okay, but dumpy is a BIG NO!

SarahD8

Veteran

Welp. I have pretty much completely given up!

Sal

Veteran

I will wear old clothes at home (rips, signs of wear, even the odd minor stain depending on where and what). But once I decide something is really unflattering I rarely will wear it either. I do have the odd exception but badly cut items..........

DonnaF

Veteran

Nope; not dumpy. The closest I will go (sh-h-h) is remove my bra after dinner because three pounds up means my bra can feel like a tourniquet by the end of the day. Otherwise, having missed five haircuts so far with no end in sight means I need to do all I can not to feel wretched.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I am my harshest critic and the one paying the most attention to what I wear. I might wear dumpy but I will feel miserable and regret it, regardless of whether I leave the house.

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

I totally struggle with this, but even moreso because of my affinity for more covered up looks. My personal level of modesty makes it easy to look dumpy, even when I'm actively trying not to

Even with my WFH looks, I'll roll up my trouser cuffs or tuck my top in a little (just a half front tuck) to try & counteract some of the dump. The worst offenders (for whom even these techniques hold zero chance of rehabilitation) are currently in my holding zone, though

nemosmom

Veteran

I'm with Rachy and SarahD8. Even my "Vagabond Mom" looks feel a bit elevated these days...

ophelia

Veteran

If dumpy means clothes that are too big, I can't stand them. I'm petite & have struggled with too big clothes all my life.
However, if dumpy means changing into a clean, loose cotton nightgown every day, I'm all in. I dread putting on a bra these days.

cindysmith

Veteran

I'd like to say "never" but I am currently sitting here looking dumpy because I'm sick
When I'm feeling well, I don't like dumpy. Even if no one sees it.

The Cat

Veteran

Oh yes, I try to resist looking dumpy even when noone else can see me. I have mirrors in my home. And I don't like to see myself looking dumpy even when alone at home. Besides, I never know when someone might knock on the door.

Kate

Veteran

I'm with rachy. A hot mess is fine, but never dumpy. If an item makes me feel dumpy, into the bin it goes!

AJ

Veteran

Yep, don't like dumpy either. Good proof that we are dressing for ourselves instead of for others.

avicennia

Veteran

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not alone in thinking this way.
MsMaven I'm a 100% agreement that with everything happening it is important to feel as good as possible, which means dressing as well as possible. You mention the looming major recession, which was what led to me try to save money with a ill-fitting swimsuit in the first place.
Rachy as soon as I figured out what you meant by hot-mess, I was in agreement. I don't mind being sweaty or dirty if I've been hiking or working outside, as long as my clothes fit me well.
Janet its so interesting that you mention pajamas. For a long time they were the one item I'd accept dumpy. But starting earlier this year, I replaced all my pajamas.
Nuancedream I've also tried to avoid sloppy WFH dressing as I have daily Zoom calls. While I look good, I have fallen into the pattern of wearing the same outfits over and over. Nobody has complained so far.
Lisa p & suntiger You are so smart. I've learned my lesson here in particular about not accepting ill-fitting workout gear (in this case a swimsuit).
La Pedestrienne You are right that there is a big difference between frump and dump, some frump can be cool (at least until you hit a certain age, but I'll have to think about that another day).
Carla & Sal I'm with you that a bit of wear and tear is OK but not dumpy.
Donna, Kate, Shevia & The Cat, I'm with you that we need to look our best (and avoid bad psychology like Nuancedream said).
Zaeobi Its amazing how little changes really do matter!
Ophelia If you feel good in a loose nightgown, then its not dumpy in my book.
It seems you nailed it AJ: We really are dressing for ourselves!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I feel dumpy almost all the time? It’s my figure shape, I’m only 5 foot 1.5 inches and quite round?
I thought short and round was the definition of dumpy.
So I’m not really sure I understand. I do make an effort to wear leg-lengthening styles where possible but it’s not that easy with flat shoes. And in winter I am afraid my nighties are not very flattering but I just hope my husband copes. They are for keeping warm and comfortable.
I just try to suck it up really and planning my wardrobe carefully has helped me.

Joy

Veteran

On Team a bit of wear and tear but not frumpy, I hope.

rachylou

Veteran

Mm, I don’t think dumpy is a shape, Jenni. Although perhaps it’s lack of shape or the wrong shape... for me the ultimate dumpy-making garment is the Hanes Beefy T. Or the free company logo polo. I’m sure someone can make these look good, but it’s not me. That short sleeve that ends in the middle of the upper arm and then goes off on its own... the sort of droopy way they hang on me... not exactly too big, but somehow not something I can fill out...

rachylou

Veteran

Winter nighties are an interesting thing to think about. I used to love me a Lanz night gown. Are they dumpy? Have to think about it. They sorta totally hide a person’s shape, but to me this is an entirely different matter. Also: the little flowers are pretty! By comparison, the Beefy T doesn’t hide my shape, just sorta distorts it like a Picasso...

avicennia

Veteran

Jenni, good question. Years ago the term JFE was used frequently on the forum. I think of dumpy as being NFAA — not flattering at all. To my mind dumpy is not just short or round, but whatever cuts and styles don’t flatter us at all. Each of us will have something different that’s NFAA. Rachy’s description of the Beefy T seems to nail it — Beefy Ts simply don’t work for her.

LaPed

Veteran

Hah, Rachylou’s comment reminds me that those uniform polo shirts made by Port Authority and the like are the absolute worst. There is no way to tweak the fit of those into something un-dumpy. I’ve never met anyone who looks good in a pique polo.

Mainelady

Veteran

Oh there are plenty of times when I like comfy, cozy, relaxed, or roomy, but I don’t like dumpy. I’m not sure where the line is.....I think it could easily be blurred and subjective. Maybe in addition to a look, dumpy is a feeling? If I feel a bit dumpy, I am compelled to do something bout it. If I am not comfortable in my own skin, something is off and I need to figure it out.

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

So I guess a rather meta question to ask: What's the difference between dumpy & frumpy? Not sure if I understood correctly based on my answer, lol

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Zaeobi, I think frumpy is old, dated, unstylish, while dumpy is out of shape/obscuring shape. That’s how I understand those perjoratives.

What I’m most likely to wear at home, unless it’s cold, is my own skin. So if it makes me feel dumpy, I need to work out! But if it is chilly, I love Lanz nighties! I also do the same thing as ST—put on workout clothes way before I’m scheduled to work out, as a way to keep myself on track to getting there.

12