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Newbie's fantasy/reality challenge

Iron Ethel Flint

I'm just jumping right in here, aren't I?

Anyway, here goes:

Reality: retired older parent doing spring cleaning, getting things together for adult child to do a dump run tomorrow, and caring for minor child. Have to check the mail on a busy street and be visible to neighbours and might have a UPS package. Will actually put on a pair of (male) adult child's castoff jeans with the "rubber band trick" to lengthen waistband and a faded, stained extra large T shirt when i can't get away with the bathrobe any longer.

Fantasy: Cool old lady who wears purple. I love things like this: http://www.ebay.com/itm/161681.....EBIDX%3AIT

and I never got to wear them when they were in style and probably couldn't have pulled them off anyway.

Anyway, I'm not a troll or persona management software, I just need help. A lot of help.

General

20 replies

Latest reply was from catgirl

rachylou

Veteran

Very interesting, Ethel. Very interesting! What holds you back from your Fantasy Wardrobe exactly, do you think? A sense that it's theatrical, perhaps? Or hippie?

Iron Ethel Flint

My young child, low income, history of volunteering for now-unpopular political causes, and other physical flaws (visibly missing teeth and big floppy belly) make me vulnerable.

Some of it is just deeply ingrained phobias and PTSD issues from psychological abuse but some of it is the reality of the world we live in.

Reconciling what I want to wear with what I can wear is going to be a tall order. I spent most of my young adulthood wearing "old lady clothes" that my controlling parents selected for me or the cheapest thing I could find from the buck a bag bin at the thrift store.

Now I'm 50, extremely unattractive bordering on deformed, very angry, and very sad.

Olivegreen

Well, love you for saying how it is. Why not? And saying it to a bunch of women is a great start. Who else could relate?
If I could suggest, what got me over being angry and sad over stuff that I could not change or control, was to hang out with a group of extremely honest women. We all felt the same, had the same stories, writ large or small. Life could suck or have problems, but other people did not get to define us. That way lay a lot more freedom. And we did not feel so alone.
I hope for you, here or in real life, that you get that ruthless honesty and remarkable amount of entirely unsuitable laughter and relief.
You sound extremely intelligent. That is a hell of a tool.

rachylou

Veteran

Well, like Olive said - Tell it like it is, honey! Clothing is interwoven with so many things.

This is a great time to start making your fashion fantasy reality. The skirt is in. I can't wait now, honestly, to hear about what you have in your closet now. YLF'ers are amazing and full of ideas. There's magic stored up in every closet.

What's the rubber band trick, btw (by the way)? I have some chef pants (I'm a bread baker + business writer), and the waistband gives me indigestion...

Anonymous

I just want to chime in and welcome you to the forum.

Iron Ethel Flint

Thanks, olivegreen, and you too, rachylou.

I think I'm going to like it here.

Iron Ethel Flint

Sorry Sterling--i should have refreshed the window before I hit the post button. Thank you for the warm welcome!

Rachylou, i learned this with my last pregnancy: http://diymaternity.com/pants-.....ity-trick/

I think I need to wait until the day after tomorrow or the next day to post my own pictures, but Erica still has a picture of my amazing awesome made-to-order kid's graduation dress here:

https://www.etsy.com/transaction/29585028

i would never wear it to scrub my floors or get ready for a dump run, of course, but I think it still fits.

ETA: link(s) fixed(?)

rachylou

Veteran

Cool trick! Thanks!

(p.s., getting an error on https//www.etsy.com/transaction/29585028... I'm thinking that was because it was a financial transaction page)

Iron Ethel Flint

I've completely lost my Etsy-Fu skills, lol.

If this works:

https://www.etsy.com/shop/ericainthetrees

Fourth from the left is definitely mine and third from the left is kind of iffy with my low vision but I think it's an inspired-by.

I met Erica on a Yahoo group right when she was getting started with Etsy, but she'd been vending at festivals and craft fairs for quite some time before that. There is so much history and so much love in that dress.

Staysfit

Veteran

Oh! I love the belly band trick! I'm going to remember that one and pass it along. Your Etsy dress is fantastic. A great piece of wearable art. I'm sure it has tremendous sentimental value as well.

Iron Ethel Flint

Please do! Us fat bellied girls are just a variation of normal and we aren't all overweight or unhealthy.

I loved, loved, LOVED low rise jeans when they came out and am trying to be amused by the fact that aging out of them means I need to shop in the plus size department for size 14s instead of my then-teenaged daughter's donation pile for size 5s.

rachylou

Veteran

Ok. Etsy-Fu is *like* the best term ever. Have to apologise for the *like*: I'm a Native Northern Californian. I joke about my Native Wear, but it's a true thing... and on that note, Erica in the Trees and Bend, OR... Hello, Erica! Bend is a pilgrimage trip for No. Cal peeps. I like what Staysfit said: Wearable Art.

Sal

Veteran

Welcome to the forum! It sounds like you know how you want to dress , but life is getting in the way at the moment.

Perhaps there are small elements of this fantasy dress that you can use in your everyday life. Hypothetically like having pink hair, or wearing patchwork shirts with your everyday jeans.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Welcome to the forum. You will find this is a wonderful, caring, and supportive group of people. We are all (including you) beautiful in our own way.

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Welcome Ethel - do you have any thrift stores near you? With your creativity I think you could make a lot out of a little there.

Iron Ethel Flint

That's mostly where I shop, lol.

I've gotten myself into a horse and cart situation where I need to spend a lot more money than I'm accustomed to on eBay to get myself something that isn't a bathrobe or men's castoffs to wear to the thrift store, but that's really just one outfit and I resent the fact that it's going to be money I'd rather spend on something else for an outfit I don't even like more than I appreciate how lucky I am to live in a period of history where it isn't really a problem.

Ugh; how's that for a run-on sentence? I'd better shut the computer down for the night.

Thanks, everybody. I feel so much better now.

Summer

Veteran

Welcome, Ethel, and well done for jumping straight in!

I found your reality story very entertaining, and I hope you find your fantasy items very soon.

shedev

Veteran

Welcome Ethyl, there are plenty of ladies here who shop at thrift. I love to thrift but I had to give it up for awhile. I needed to learn to treat it like any other shopping and not get sucked in because it's $1.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

And another welcome from me. Look forward to hearing more about your style.

catgirl

Veteran

Post a pic when you are ready! I'm a thrifter and a ragamuffin at heart, so you're not alone.