Newbie lost in her closet. What next?

Ann in New England

Hi all - I hope you can help me figure out where to start. I've been inspired by the site and the idea of capsules and closet audits and everything. So today I went into my closet with the idea of putting together some capsules, and I ended up with a million items on a hook and still feeling like I had nothing to wear.

Here's the synopsis: My standard "uniform" over the past few years has been a pair of pants (dress pants, dark chino type pants, or jeans, depending on the occasion), a plain t-shirt (nicer fabric if for work) and cardigan. In the last few years, my cardigans were all longish waterfall types because I thought they made me look slimmer. In fact, that was the function of the cardigan: hide the tummy and hips.

Now I've lost 35 lbs. and have been buying new clothes, but without a plan. So now I have a closet full of gray skirts, black skirts, gray pants, black pants, gray dresses, black dresses, , a bunch of cardigans, and a bunch of plain colored tops. But everything just looks so BORING. I feel like I need some "life" in there. So where do I go? Print blouses? Plaid or otherwise patterned skirts? I don't have a lot left in the budget since I spent it all on boring basics. I also need one or two jackets for a professional conference.

Can you help me with some ideas? Is there something else I should be considering? I also have no idea how to accessorize -- I always feel like people are staring at me when I add a scarf or chunky necklace, but maybe that's just something I have to get over. I want to add in a few belts (which I have never worn) but I don't know how to choose a belt in the store to go with anything, unless I happen to be wearing that item.

Thanks. Maybe you can help me to not feel so hopeless.

Ann

13 years ago

Dressing

11 replies

Latest reply was from cheryl

Traci

Veteran

I wear chunky necklaces quite often and I feel the way you described if I'm not head over heels in love with the necklace. It's a statement and you need to feel good about that statement.

Since you have the basics down, start working on shoes, bags and accessories that speak to you. Have you had a look through Angie's mom on the go posts? There are some great formulas for everyone in there.

13 years ago

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

Welcome Ann! oh fiddle, i hate it when you start a project and end up feeling worse off than when i started - poo! But i think you did the smart thing to speak up, around this place you will get a LOT of great advice, whether or not my words here help or not

The first thing everyone suggests is that you go here:

http://youlookfab.com/category/mom-on-the-go/

and look at Angie's mom on the go formulas. These are a bunch of goof-proof formulas Angie has come up with for various smart-casual outfits. Since you just went through your whole closet, you're in a good place to see what pieces you have that could help you make one or more of these outfits.

here ya go!

http://youlookfab.com/2009/10/.....-outfit-1/

this mom on the go look uses waterfall cardi and jeans - two elements you have. If you liked this look and wanted to try it, you'd have a mini-shopping list of what to get in order to pull it together. It will take a little time to go thru the looks to see which you are interested in, and which you have the most pieces for already. But that time will mean that you have a goal to work towards, instead of just floundering.

And don't feel bad about your 'boring essentials'! Lots of us get so excited in the beginning that we end up with too much 'frosting' with no 'cake' to hold it together.

And if the experience of members of this forum is anything to go by, you will most likely have to get used to getting stared at. And strangers telling you how great you look and asking where you got that great scarf and telling you how lucky you are to have been born with with such great natural style hang in there and have fun! steph

13 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Welcome!!

A little over a year ago, I was EXACTLY where you are today, and I mean exactly. I had lost 35 pounds and I had a new body shape and I had almost nothing in my closet. Actually, I was even worse off, because I didn't even have the "boring" basics yet. I had a bunch of random stuff I'd picked up on sale or in thrift stores without knowing what the heck I was doing.

You've already got some great advice to take a look at the MOTG formulas.

I'll just ask a couple more questions that helped my thinking process as I began, questions that Angie asks us all time and again (in her patient, persistent, and ever-so-gracious and perceptive way!) Maybe they will help you get started, too.

1. How do you WANT to look? How would you like others to perceive you? Approachable? Dramatic? Professional? Sporty? Creative? Organized?

There are so many possibilities. Many of us find it helpful to try to identify our aspirational style with a couple of words, maybe 2 to 5 adjectives.

2. If words don't do it for you, try pictures. Use pinterest or polyvore or some other program or just magazine clippings and keep a file of looks you'd like to copy or looks you admire. (This is a step that many people recommended to me, early on. I never really did it until very recently, and now I wish I'd begun sooner. Style directions can reveal themselves quite quickly this way.)

3. There are lots of great style books out there to consider: The Lucky Guide to Style is one a lot of people like. I haven't read it myself, but it's supposed to be good. You might also want to look at a book called Style Statement.

4. What are your main occupations? How do you spend your time? What do you need clothes for? For example:

Sleepwear
Workout wear
Work clothing (how dressy do you have to be for work - are some days different than others?)
Weekend wear
Date night
Funerals
Weddings, etc.
Going out with friends
Hanging out with your kids (if any) ...

and so on. Make a list of the things you commonly do and try to figure out if you have what's needed for workable "capsules" in these areas. If not, what is missing? I.e. If workouts would be a lot more pleasant if you bought yourself some newer Ts, that's a hole. If you always wonder what on earth to wear to the monthly neighbourhood BBQ (or whatever) that is another hole.

5. What is your dominant season? What temperatures do you need to dress for?

Answering all these questions will give you a bit of a start.

PS - after a year of building carefully, my wardrobe still feels a bit "boring." And I haven't even managed to cover all my essentials yet! So I still have more "boring" stuff to buy. But usually when we feel bored it is because our clothing is not expressing what we want about us.

Or, another way to put it is that not all black skirts are created equal. Even "essentials" like black skirts can be in interesting cuts and fabrications.

So the question, again, is how do you want to look?

I'm a slow learner. It's taking me AGES to figure this out. But I am getting closer all the time and I'm always having fun with fashion. You will, too.

13 years ago

sarah

Veteran

Welcome, Ann! I know this can all be so overwhelming.

What is your occupation? Do you stay home or work outside of the home? If you work outside the home, how do you need to dress for work? It it casual? Business casual?

Given your pants and cardi collection, I'd right away go for some scarves - they can really spruce up cardis, I've found. You may feel self conscious wearing them the first few times, but honestly, you'll get used to it pretty quickly. I'd also pay attention to your foot wear - some boots or booties would be a great addition that would also spruce up what you already have - maybe booties that coordinate with your scarf, a la Angie's recent blog post? Or boots that bookend your hair color?

Hang in there, and be patient with yourself. And congratulations on your weight loss!

13 years ago

Ann in New England

Active Member

Thanks to all of you for the welcome and for the thoughtful posts. I've taken a deep breath and feel better now -- thank you!. You've given me a lot to think about and read, and I can't wait to dig in.

To answer the lifestyle/occupation question, I am in sales in a creative industry. I work from home, but spend most of my days in the car driving to my clients, which are retail stores. I have a set group of customers whom I've known for years. This is good and bad -- bad because they knew me "before" and I'm self conscious about showing up with a completely new style. Good because I only see them once a month at the very most, so I can get away with just a few great outfits and nobody will see the same outfit again for awhile. I'd say my work dress is business casual, but it's really anything goes that looks nice. I don't wear jeans to visit my customers, but I wouldn't be in trouble if I did. About once a quarter I spend 3-4 days in our corporate office or at a conference, and there I want to look professional and polished but not too buttoned down or "corporate."

I'm 47, so I'm starting to become concerned with looking "too old." I tend to be fairly conservative so I don't think I'll ever have the problem of dressing too "young," but I can easily see myself erring on the side of too old. Every once in awhile my mother will show up wearing the same item I've just bought, and that scares me to death.

13 years ago

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Hi Ann! I just wanted to chime in on the belt issue; I find that 1" wide belts are very useful, also are the small tiny ones about the width of my pinky. Have you tried those? I personally prefer a higher waist, but that's something you can experiment with as well

13 years ago

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Welcome ! You have some wonderful advice here. The only thing I would add is feel free to make mistakes. Apart from YLF, I think I've learned more about how I want to look from the "mistakes" I made than anything else.

13 years ago

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Welcome! It sounds like you are at a good starting point and have so much great advice to gain here.

I thought I'd just mention that I'm not really a "scarf" person (though many here wear them really well) though I do wear them sometimes in fall - but I prefer a smaller scarf tied around the neck for whatever reason (big ones may overwhelm my frame I guess and I have quite a lot of hair which kind of competes). So the type of scarf can make a difference too. And pay attention to the colors and how it relates to your eyes, hair and skin tone.

I use necklaces and bracelets mainly for accessories - and belts, but not "statement" necklaces per se. I like pendants mostly and some larger styles (multi-layer sometimes). I think a longer pendant can be slimming. I spend a lot of my shopping time finding necklaces I really love - I have three or four that I tend to wear most right now. One is red/silver, one is black/gold, one is blue/gold and one is all silver.

And "fit" is really one of the BIG lessons I've been learning here. It is so important that the clothes you wear fit you really well and are the most flattering they can be for your body shape.

I'd recommend trading out some of those long cardigans for light weight jackets or blazers that are nicely fitted and offer you some new style directions. I've found jackets in all price ranges - two favs of mine only cost $14 each at jcpenny for example. They have a military inspired design, one is olive, the other navy.

Sometimes the difference in your look can be made with a different neckline when it comes to simple t-tops. Or a subtle stripe (doesn't need to be jailbird black and white).

Like everyone said, have fun, take your time and don't be afraid of making mistakes or culling your closet to work with a smaller core as a good starting point. Angie always says to make sure you have a few great things that you feel really good in and wear the heck out of them!

13 years ago

Anonymous

Sounds like Angie's scarf-booties-bag trio would be a great place for you to start!

13 years ago

JAileen

Veteran

I'm new here too, and appreciate the links to mom on the go outfits. I'm going to try to incorporate some of that into my day to day wardrobe.

I don't work so when I go out it's shoppong, errands, library, meetings, church, lunch. That might sound like a lot, but it might only be a few times a week. My most regular outing is walking the dog/dog park visit. Still, I'd like to look better when I do go out. Invariably when I look truly awful, such as a quick trip to the hardware store, I'll run into someone I know!

13 years ago

cheryl

Veteran

You have already been given so much good advice, but I wanted to say I think adding a few colorful printed tops will perk up the wardrobe basics. I love color and pattern so I have a lot of that in my wardrobe.

13 years ago

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