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New year new clarity

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

I’ve been thinking about fashion a lot for about 5 years now, and it seems that all of a sudden, all of the lessons taught by Angie, others on this Forum, and other blogs etc. are finally sinking in. I feel a tremendous clarity developing in the past month or so!

Fewer, better items. This has been a very sudden shift, so I’m guessing it built up over time without me noticing. These days I just have no patience for stuff that is “almost right.” I had a lot of nice items that I had inherited or received as gifts, but they didn’t fit well. Also a lot of super cheap fast-fashion items whose texture or fabrication felt unbearable against the skin. I know that I can get by with way less than I currently have. A really great pair of jeans can be worn for like half the week, after all .

On a related note, capsules are not working for me. When I first started learning about wardrobe management, I was fascinated by the idea of capsules. Hiking clothes do not need to match regular clothes! Beach stuff can have its own little storage box! But eventually I just had so damn many capsules! I do a lot of different activities in different environments, and it’s just not feasible to manage All The Capsules. I expect to donate a lot of the less-loved items that have only one specific use. (I do still enjoy a wacky yoga outfit, though, so those will probably stay separate.)

Layer neutrals with abandon. For a while I got really hung up on columns of color and tonal dressing. But for me, this kinda fed into perfectionist tendencies and made me feel that I needed to have every item in every color. Blue column needed blue shoes! Tonal peach outfit needed peach bag! You can see how this would lead to wardrobe proliferation! These days I’m finding it feels much more relaxed to just wear all the neutrals together and not worry about them going together. Bonus: it often leads to surprisingly pleasing combos.

No need to wear all the “special” things at once, as I am often tempted to do. Opportunities to really dress up are kinda rare, and it’s so hard to decide whether to wear the big earrings or the bright shoes or the sparkly top…..But a little sparkle or bright color goes a long way. I have too many fancy items, really, so will need to keep that in mind when shopping.

Feel free to share your own recent “aha!” moments or ideas for style directions in the coming year.

Dressing

29 replies

Latest reply was from Sally

Synne

Veteran

I am nodding along to all of this!

Other aha-moments for me, has been when Angie (and later Trinny) mentioned they only have 3 shirts for working out. One to wear, one to wash, and one to dry. So I don't need 8 sets of gym wear to (not) work out?? I also like to apply this concept to other aspects of my wardrobe. Have yet to tackle my massive outerwear capsule, but baby steps...

I have noticed the same as you regarding neutrals. I have discovered that when I am wearing "my palette" (soft summer) it all goes together. A random topper with a random trouser, looks harmonious, like meant to be. Bliss.

Bijou

Veteran

My ahah moment came when I realised that given I work from home spending more on my everyday clothes makes sense with a focus on beautiful fabrics that feel great to wear. For very hot summer days I have a lovely and light cotton dress and a silk wrap dress that are both as light as air to wear. I like how they look, but more importantly how they feel.

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Dee

Veteran

Really good insights Jessikams, definitely identified with going with quality over quantity. Less can be more.

My “aha” moment came when I was shifting to the trendy oversized/wider silhouettes. It was setting off as you described, an unnecessary wardrobe proliferation for less than stellar results for me.
I actually don’t enjoy wearing oversized/ really wide or chunky, it felt sloppy and heavy on my frame. I want a bit of structure with some waist definition, and a more refined look.

Although I want to look current, I now understand that I also need to stay true to what works best on me and adopt certain trends carefully or not at all.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

What great insights!

I feel like sometimes I have to learn the same lessons over and over again, LOL. I’ll have to ponder this more.

unfrumped

Veteran

Great insights!
Having some good “ aha” moments here too whilst embarking on an earlier-than- usual closet clear-out.

Have been enjoying listening to The Everyday Style School and getting some reinforcements of things you know you know or have heard before but maybe finally sinking in.

I know I’m shopping all wrong, too random, but have had hard time changing. I understand making lists but have usually had poor luck, or lack of diligence, finding items with the very specific features. Worse since fewer real stores in town to just try things on.

I have difficulty getting rid of clothes that seem fine, but I know I’m not wearing, or much.
One of the closet- cull questions that has been most helpful is, “ would I miss this if it were gone?” Because that helps with issue of having more things than I’m wearing regularly and are making it harder to have a tidy, accessible wardrobe.

I do like, “would I buy it again”, but that is actually less helpful because some of those items might be things I am wearing and might “ missed” if tossed out , but I could really use a similar item with some amount of “upgrade” ( using term beyond the idea of more expensive or luxurious- could be just, more washable!)- so, placeholders for things that might be HEWI’s, else I’d go get them now- , and also I have a few less than perfect dressy and/ or somber items that will do in a pinch to avoid emergency event shopping.

LJP

Veteran

Glad to hear you're having some clarity around shopping and dressing. I feel like i could write the book on what to do - my issue is actually doing it. Making the leap to fewer and better hasn't been as easy as I thought. So exactly how much does better cost? Where will I draw the new line? Despite my vows to cut my wardrobe in half , I still love clothes, new looks, and freshening things up. Big conundrum.

kkards

Veteran

Re clarity ——I’ve had moments of clarity and understanding. Such as making sure that you can make at least 3 outfits, don’t buy something that you need to buy suppporting players to make it work, keep a tight color palette….
like LJP my issue is not with the clarity, its with the execution.
but, thats’ me. Looking forward to seeing how you take your clarity and move forward

cat2

Veteran

After wearing mostly black, grey and navy for work for decades, I have had to learn new color combinations. This Fall, I dug out all the camel toppers I had been wearing with navy and remixed them with the army green pants and skirt I had acquired over the last couple of years and gave them new life. Last year, in Spring, the blush pieces I had been adding met my work grey pants and skirts and gave them new life. I am certain that some time next year I will have another moment of clarity and land on something new.

slim cat

Veteran

Nice insights! My "aha moment" was understanding that deep navy color in matte fabric ( linen summer jacket ) is killing my soft and pale features and soft navy ( or maybe french blue ) moto jacket in faux leather is getting me compliments all the time ( some shine reflecting the lights does wonders to my look ).
Limited colors are my preferred way of shopping as well (blue, green, some white, a bit of wild cards such as yellow ).
Better shopping in 2023 for all of us ( I'm hopping )!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I hear you on all the capsules. I’m happy with those rare items that can serve multiple purposes. Thought I was getting workout/casual wear tops last summer, but really missed the shelf bra in the workout tops.

My two biggest recent “aha” moments will likely be wiped away with my coming move: I can/do wear black a lot more than I think and weather-wise, the seasons line up W/S and S/F. Big epiphanies for Berlin, but I don’t think either of them work in a medium-sized city in the upland South. The last time I made this move, I put away the black lace-up boots I’d gotten in Berlin. Now my friend says women in his city wear them all the time, so we’ll see.

Star

Veteran

After tracking wears for 2 years I realise I can happily live with a quarter of the clothes I have. Like Unfrumped I have difficulty letting go of clothes that are in ok condition. This year I tried to practice '1 in 2 out' and almost managed. I will continue with this practice if and when I purchase new 'to me' items. I thrift mostly. Like Stag I realised I own and wear a lot more black than I thought. I was going to phase out black for navy but turns out black looks fab with silver hair. I will do navy and black as dark neutrals. I was planning on navy, pastels and white as a colour palette with the silver hair. Turns out suddenly optic white is not so fab and pastels are too wishy-washy. I need saturated colours near my pale face and hair. An ongoing learning curve for sure.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Great insights...and interesting to me. I had not got into the monochrome look thing too much so wasn't tempted to go that far in that direction, but I do have a lot of navy! In all seriousness, I think Synne is right -- once you settle on a palette, things tend to work together quite easily, on the whole. I mean, apart from proportion....

Like Janet, I feel like I have to learn and re-learn the same lessons again and again! And like LJP, I feel the "less but better" mantra can be a bit abstract on its own. What is less? What is better? Where do you source it? What if you can't find it? And then, once you figure that out and purchase your better items...how long do you hold them? Having spent considerable time and money on them, when is it reasonable to let them go? These questions have practical and philosophical dimensions.

Having said all that....on another level I absolutely get it and subscribe to the idea, and it has served me well. Once I figured out that jeans, boots, and a good blazer are essential to my style, I spent money on all of those and I have never regretted it. Yes, sometimes I still luck out with a pair of cheap jeans -- it happens! But I also give myself permission to go more expensive on that category and pick the ones that really work the best for me -- because I will wear them to death. Ditto boots (besides which, I need multiple pairs both for different purposes and to prevent foot pain). And blazers have a long life in my closet. I do have some trouble letting those go, though. An area to work on.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

Maybe it’s a benefit of getting older but suddenly this year l want less but better but then l have a clearer idea of what l do and don’t wear and l have finally put my fantasy lifestyle to bed(well, almost) but l agree it’s a dilemma to work out how much is reasonable to spend on better. I want a smaller but enjoyable wardrobe.l have offloaded a lot of clothes but still have a big bag to sell.l still struggle with letting things go but getting older is a process of letting go and finding contentment so l just have to apply this to my wardrobe.

Anonymous

Big yay about combining neutrals- I learned that lesson too this year.
Yep about all.the.capsules. Guilty of that too! I'd rather have an entire wardrobe that goes together!

judy

Veteran

Ah, it's a journey, huh! Fashion schooling and insights..

Mine this year were:

For me, buying fewer, better things actually requires less shopping, both in person and online. A habit I've had to change. But it's freed up time!

If I want my jeans to keep on wearing in and getting interesting, I need to stop buying new ones. I bought no new jeans this year!

And scratchy wool sweaters can be broken in! It's been cashmere only for me for years and I took a chance on a thick, oversized black wool turtleneck one on a black Friday sale, thank you instagram ads. Yes, just wearing it, (with woven's underneath helped) it became softer and is now the warmest thing I own...if I wear anything else, I'm freezing!

jussie

Veteran

I can relate to a lot of what has been said here, and jessikams it’s great that you are getting some clarity in your mind about your wardrobe. I think it will lead to a very cohesive and workable wardrobe for you, so hooray!

For me, I am still experimenting with the “mixing different neutrals together” idea. I do know that tan and navy go well together, but gee I struggle mixing grey with other neutrals… I find it a tricky shade to be honest.

And creams and whites together? I’m still struggling. Khaki and tan is nice in theory but does make me feel a little earthy and tree-like.

But to be honest, I think other people don’t even really notice haha! So if it’s worn with confidence you can get away with it, no problems. It’s whether it’s making you feel good and put together that matters. It’s all in the eye of the beholder.
I can totally agree with what you guys have said re: keeping a tight colour palette. So. Much. Easier. And less costly too. I try to stick with blues of all kinds, and a variety of neutrals, as my main base, I guess about 75% of my wardrobe, then with a small smattering of hot pink and various greens, about 20%, then I’d guess about 5% of other “outlier” colours. It works pretty well.

It occurs to me that when trying a “wild card” type colour, maybe the best thing is to do it in a dress, so it can be one-and-done, rather than needing other pieces to support it. Could be something there…..?

The fact that you have decided capsules were not working so well intrigues me; I’ve never really done capsules, but I do find the idea fun.

However I can see it would be much more practical if one’s entire wardrobe functioned as ONE workable, cohesive capsule :).

You mentioned perfectionist tendencies, I hear you! I am the same with my clothes to be honest.

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Happy new year everyone! Here is Brickle demonstrating the impact of one fancy piece for a special occasion outfit:

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Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Brickle is a very good sport! I am wondering (having also just read Lisa's thread on less and better) if it might help to separate the two issues. First figure out the better, without the added stress of thinking this would have to be the one true thing and everything else would go. Then plan for how to incorporate rather than substitute.
I am remembering the time where minimalism was the hottest topic in the style space, and how it turned into a hunt for the rarefied best in every category - which was always super expensive and also difficult to obtain. I found it obnoxious, and not because I don't like fancy things!
Anyway, I have to think this out more, but Happy New Year and excellent lessons in clarity!

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

So true Jaime, the quest for perfection is NOT fun. For me right now, “fewer but better” means that I’m ready to let go of the extra, not-great stuff that I’ve been keeping “just in case.” And that will give more space for my existing, better items to shine.

Sal

Veteran

Seems like you are in a good space. I love the fun and edge that you bring to dressing and style.

For me I have gained clarity to trust my judgement. Not to force myself to wear trending looks or classics if they don’t resonate. There’s a way to make older pieces look fresh and my favourite outfits have a mix of older and newer pieces.

Helena

Veteran

Jessikams, awesome insights and thanks for sharing them! I pretty much echo Janet I totally agree with you on the neutrals ... I used to get hung up on this but am getting better at enjoying all the neutrals together!

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Helena I think we have some similar tendencies towards overthinking or forgetting that fashion should be fun, right? It’s not a math problem after all! It’s nice to feel a bit more free right now.

Olive Green

Veteran

How lovely to have all the info just coalesce into something you can use right now. I have learned to be patient with the process and this often happens. “The Answer to Needs” is a moving target, have to keep reminding myself. Thank goodness, it means I am still moving. Not a given.
I have very strict (almost moral, heh) limits on what I need to buy that is pricey. A lifetime of travel and adventure has made me very interested in core items that will not fall apart when used hard and repeatedly. Shoes and warm clothes are prioritized. Having open sores from blisters in a tropical climate, for instance, is life threatening. Cheap sandals can kill you. Using a chain saw or mower in shitty shoes can get you in trouble that requires a doctor. Running in bad shoes, digestive upset from tight waistband, Stockholm Syndrome from the bra bands that are too tight, or straps that faff allover the place…long list to avoid.
Clearly I am interested in physical comfort. Suffering for beauty was a mantra of my mom’s, and she certainly had the feet to show for it.
And gosh, I love good clothes. Colour and texture very important for longevity. Really ugly is just…no.
Better means comfort, and aesthetics are part of that. I will pay to upgrade aesthetics for key pieces.

rachylou

Veteran

I can definitely relate to having too many fancy items. I don’t hold down a cubicle anymore. I work in a bakery… and on that note, my discovery this year was phone pocket leggings. My phone is my pancreas and I really have to have it on me at all times. The phone pocket leggings work.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Jessikams, in my mind, the point of wardrobe capsules is to GROUP together your wardrobe items so that they can be worn together to your satisfaction, and your dressing needs are covered. Some capsules can be mixed and matched, MANY items can be used across MANY capsules, and some capsules are very specific and rarely worn (like your fun formal wear capsule you modeled for us so beautifully a few years ago). It sounds like you do better with larger groups (capsules) of items - me too! Run with it.

Brickle is a sweetie

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

You definitely seem to be hitting your stride lately, so I'm glad the lessons are paying off!

It takes a while for things to sink in for me too - the latest has been that 'less is more' (cliché, I know, but 'Limits' *was* part of my 2022 goal after all!)
I'm focusing on fewer neutrals (i.e. shades of brown - no more black/ navy/ olive/ white), accessories (side eyeing my bracelets now) & shoes (having just 2 in each category allows them to 'rest' between wears).

Jenni NZ

Veteran

“Getting rid of the extra, not-great stuff”. That’s what I have been trying to do for the past 6 years, but trying to wear it first if I can. Some success. Items being edited out are more for wear than in the past. Most have now had over #30 wears.
But the biggest thing is not buying more “not great stuff”. The pandemic actually helped that. I had a bad habit of buying tops for going out to dinner with our best friends. “That will be great for going out to dinner with the Cs”. So many fewer dinners also helped me see there were already many great outfits for that!

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

So much wisdom here and I love hearing about others’ moments of clarity. It is indeed a moving target, a process, an evolution… but I’m enjoying this little plateau where I can see the vista for now

Sally

Veteran

I guess like you, I have realised that I can 'dress with less', that having a good wardrobe means I don't have to go shopping for events when they arise because i should already have something that I like that is appropriate in my wardrobe. I guess if I was invited to a ball, I might have to go and rent something but you get the picture. I also realise now that duplication is not really a good idea for me except for underclothes and active wear. If my current favourite jeans are in the wash, I should just wear something else instead of duplicating in case I run out.