Thanks for taking the time to read my rant and responding! This forum and its members have been extremely welcoming and brought a positive new energy into my life. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Angie and all of you for being so kind.
I have been limiting my presence on social media as well as who has access to my content since I started using it again.
Since my mother passed away in 2009, I’ve distanced myself from a lot of my relatives and created a “family” of my own, consisting mostly of my husband, our friends and his family. His father walked me down the aisle at my wedding (despite my own father having been invited, long story there) and passed away a month later. His mother was such a kind, gentle soul and I was so lucky to have her in my life until her passing six years ago. My “step daughter” is a close friend who is exactly 4 years and 364 days younger than me, and also happens to share my name. My brother in law isn’t particularly close to my husband but we get along so well whenever we see each other that I’ve made it my mission to increase his presence in our lives.
As for my blood relatives, they were the first to pull away. I was never close to my father and my mother’s family is extremely elitist and tends to exclude “outsiders” who do not meet their standards and socio-economic expectations. I now understand why my mother moved halfway across the world by herself and her 7 year old daughter to live a somewhat lonely and isolated life in a foreign country, despite the presence of a few distant relatives living nearby and having and English Literature Major. She protected me for as long as she could from the constant criticism, negativity and bullying she had suffered her entire life. No wonder she dreaded going back during summer and holiday vacations while I, being too innocent and uninterested to notice anything “off” between the adults, spent the rest of the year looking forward to them.
When she died, I finally saw the true colors of her older siblings when I became the the heir to 1/3 of my grandfather’s legacy as the owner of Brazil’s first and at one time largest supermarket chain. They’ve done everything to rob me of my part, including a change to my grandmother’s will only 20 days after my mother’s death, making her sign and addendum that claimed (in words that were obviously not hers and terms that she clearly didn’t understand due to her level of dementia at the time) that I should only receive half of my inheritance due to my alcoholism (completely fabricated!) and the the impact it could have on my type 1 diabetes. Never mind d that she offered me desserts and candy whenever I visited her, as well as money which I always refused as per my own mother’s instructions and had been refusing since childhood (while watching my cousins happily accept and even request).
The fact is that after my mothers death, they simply ignored me and left me to fend for myself. Using my husband’s “lack of compatibility” as an excuse, I was excluded from all family gatherings and holiday celebrations. I watched as they posted photos of my grandmothers 90’th birthday on Facebook, with all her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and their respective spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends posed on the grand staircase of the house where I had happily spent so much of my childhood. Everyone and their dog was invited, except me. So I slowly started excluding them from my social media. I barely use Facebook anymore but a few of them have slowly crept back, mostly via Instagram. Time to do a new sweep I guess.
When my husband unexpectedly and out of impulse, proposed that we relocate to Portugal after our first visit in 2017, I jumped at the chance. Many of our friends were already living in Lisbon and many followed since. It’s been quite an adventure but I can’t imagine myself going back on my decision and have absolutely no regrets. I can’t have children but I might adopt someday, who knows… and I want them to grow up surrounded by love, acceptance and kindness.
Please forgive me, I’m afraid I’ve nearly written a novel!
