Need some K/R help! - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Need some K/R help!

Peri

Veteran

I don't generally post these...usually I know what I think. But I'm having such a hard time lately I think I have lost confidence and objectivity. I will keep something thinking I like it, wear it a few times, and start to wonder why I bought it.

It just happens on the likes. My one true love of the season I've been continuously happy with. But mostly what I'm finding falls in the "like it okay" category. I think part of that is I'm just feeling so blah in general. A small weight gain that settled all in my stomach. A bad reaction to the heat. A bad hair reaction to the humidity. An aging spurt. All combined to make me not like what I see in the mirror.

So...I like these. Not love. They are okay. Which worries me! Please be objective for me. I need things to wear but I'm tired of falling out of like so fast. I don't think my judgement is sound...but I also don't think I can wait for only 10s at this point. The third P is Practical.

Both are J Crew. They look similar. The second one is navy and I don't have any navy bottoms. I'm not against buying some, but it would be better if I can wear it with black. I'm not sure the picture can show that.

This post has 3 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

General

17 replies

Latest reply was from crutcher

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Peri, so sorry you have the blahs....this happens to us all. Also, I really sympathize about the summer top woes. I had this problem last year. I am having more luck this year, but last year I really did end up buying a few things that were just "okay" and "acceptable" in order to get through the season.

I like the second one on you quite a lot. The diagonal sleeve is flattering and the pattern strikes me as one that fits with your persona. But I hear you on the trousers.

The first one feels "okay" to me, also, rather than great. It's definitely not bad, but I think styled with black pants it's not great, either. It demands denim or something to mix things up a bit, and I know that isn't your thing. It feels a bit stiff and square with the high neck and short sleeve. What do you think?

Neel

Veteran

I am not sure what you are talking about! Because you look lovely in both! Hugs and keep what YOU like

rabbit

Veteran

I really like the second one on you, both the arrangement of the pattern which is flattering, and the design. I think navy and black can be worn together often, it depends on the specific items you are pairing and their texture and hue/saturation.

celia

Veteran

Sorry to hear that you are feeling the blues, it is not a nice thing to happen.
I absolutely love the second top on you. The first one looks very good but the second one has some capacity that makes it extra special.

Gigi

Veteran

I like both tops. I think they both look good on you and both fit well.

However, given what you've said about not loving the tops, I would return them. I have had the same case of the blahs that you are talking about, and I have found that unless I really honestly need something it's better to just not buy. What happens is I have the "like" thing in my closet, and it just takes up space. Plus, it is depressing to see that I've made a shopping boo-boo. My new rule is that if I don't look in the mirror and say, "Wow!" when I put the thing on, then I shouldn't buy it (unless there is a genuine need, like you have a special occasion coming up, or you find that the new top will enable you to wear a closet orphan).

It sounds like you are having a "brain" response to these tops (they look good, fit well, etc.) but not a "heart" response (wow!, I love it!, I'm so happy I got this!, I feel great!).

Marley

Veteran

The second top is fine - not real exciting or anything - but, fine. The first one, I'd for sure return. I think that if you're not crazy about either one, I'd return them both!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I prefer the second top, but not super wowed by either. What is the intended use? Work? Is it filling a hole? Or did you just try it on a whim?
Off to see other responses.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'm a spanner today. I LOVE the first top, Peri. I vote killer. The second one is lovely, but I much prefer the first. I vote white bottoms and white sneakers with the look. I know you wear black sneakers daily, so I was careful to suggest white sneakers with the white bottoms.

(To answer your blog post question - I don't listen to classical music. It makes me feel on edge. I am a hard rock, Beatles, and British '80s music gal through and through. I find that music very relaxing, and puts my head and my heart in a happy place. So while you are appreciating Mozart and Bach, I'm relaxing to Linkin Park, Chris Cornell, Depeche Mode and Duran Duran).

rachylou

Veteran

Oh that's interesting Angie loves the first. I like the pattern better on the first, but the shape better on the second (which I feel is more grown up and the first more little girl on you).

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Peri, I like the pattern on the first one, though I wish the designer had skipped the border across the bottom--but that's the sewing side of me. I like the second one on you, but I think you might be limited in what you can wear with it, because I don't think it looks terrific with black pants. I could see it with white or gray.

Peri

Veteran

Waffling, but I'm pretty sure the first one is going back. It was the one I liked right out of the package, and liked when I put it on. This morning I even cut the tag off and put it on...and started having doubts. The borders appeal to me and especially the way the back changes to the material of the border, but something is off. I took it back off because I wasn't excited to wear it and knew I should think some more...so that says something. I changed my mind on it in one day...that's a record. I think it is what Suz said...the high neck is wrong for me...for my figure but also for my style. I should have known, because I have never liked things coming up to my neck like that. It does feel stiff and square...the material just a little but the style, a lot. Sorry Angie!! I would be your worst client ever.

The second one grew on me but I just found out the pants I've been liking this summer so far don't come in navy, and I think it isn't great with black. So maybe there is no reason to keep it either. I do have a major need for tops, but I don't think this one will be very useful in the long run.

That's how my season has been going. Something is always not quite right. I like a color but not a style, a material but not a color, I like something but need to find some other difficult to find item to make it work. Arg! Starting from scratch is so hard!! Add in the blahs and overall not liking to shop...real lack of fab-ness in Peri land.

Thanks for all the comments and encouragement. It is nice to know things look okay objectively. But Gigi, Marley and Mo are right...don't keep things I'm so tepid about. Maybe I can be like Clearly Claire!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

There is something to be said for your first reaction to something. That's often the best and most authentic reaction.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Hey, Peri, hang in there. Something will turn up. Wish I could take you shopping.

Gigi

Veteran

Peri, I think someone had a post recently (can't remember who) who talked about being extra careful when shopping to make sure that the item is *just right* in all respects: cut, fabric, feel, color, etc. The color may be great, the fit may be great, etc., but if just one thing is "off"—in this case, perhaps the high neckline—then you're not going to feel fab.

I'm trying to abide by this in my own shopping, and it really does help. I say to myself, "Are you really trying to fill a wardrobe hole that has a deadline, or are you trying to find something to express your overall style personality?" If it's the former, then I might need to buy, because the event or whatever the thing is for is coming, and I need to have something. But if it's the latter, I really need to wait. I'm tired of seeing stuff in my wardrobe that I pass over day after day because I don't WANT to wear it!

I found that when I first started being interested in fashion, I was kind of working with a check-the-boxes-off mentality. Ankle pants? Check. Bootcut jeans? Check. Skinnies? Check. But as my style persona matured, and I found that certain items of clothing gave me a huge happy factor, I realized that I had been settling a lot of the time for the sake of being able to "check boxes" off my list. Now, I was basically building a wardrobe from scratch, so I did need a certain amount of clothing, whatever the style, just to get me through everyday life, but once I had enough stuff to wear, I realized that I should buy ONLY those things that really make me happy. Since I've decided to do that, I've been a lot happier with my purchases.

danskogirl

Hi Peri: I'm new to YLF so I don't know your style that well yet. But given that you mentioned you were trying to find tops that go with black, and how others have said the design of the 2nd top seems to suit you, I'm wondering if maybe a blouse from White House Black Market might float your boat? (Or I might be totally off the mark here.)

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Hi Peri! First of all, sorry you're feeling blah. I've totally been there, more often than I'd care to recall. It will get better! Second of all, you still look beautiful.

Now, on to the tops. I have not read the other responses first. The first top is nice but not great. It seems a bit too boxy on you, and I'm not a fan of that sleeve. I like the second top on you much better! The pattern, drape and sleeve are all really nice on you. I also have a harder time working with navy as opposed to black, but I think you'll find it goes with more than you expect. I hope you keep that one.

crutcher

Veteran

As long as you are feeling blah, you probably don't want to make any real style decisions...Get your old self back and the style will come...I like top 1 but you have to live with it and you must feel that you look absolutely wonderful in what you choose...
I totally relate to being down...I m going through something now that has just about depleted my happiness tiller...Hopefully, time, the wise old friend, will come and take this down feeling away...Best to you..