My weak-kneed approach to purging. - YouLookFab Forum

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My weak-kneed approach to purging.

catgirl

Veteran

I am slowly going through my closet and putting aside (like, in a giant bag) items that have not seen wear in ages. If I haven't missed them or felt a need for them in 3 months, I'm going to let them go. I realize this is the wimpy way to purge but I want to be careful because at this point almost everything I have is something I loved at some point.

Mo's 52 thread really opened my eyes, and while I realize some items like fancy dresses may only get a few wears and still be worth the price, the rest of it really can overwhelm me and makes me feel guilty beyond belief.

Anyone else feeling guilty at the moment?

Dressing

20 replies

Latest reply was from Beth Ann

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Wow, that's pretty hardcore. I keep items sometimes I haven't worn in a year. I'm a wuss I guess with purging. 3 months would have 1/4 of my closet gone probably.
I am coming around to less purchasing, though, so by attrition my closet is shrinking. And I am going to purge a lot more at the end of this warm stretch. But we're not there yet. Still 89 and 90. Ugh.
Good luck! But don't get too overzealous and regret it. Remember, if you love an item, it's okay to love it only a couple times a year. (at least, I think so)

EDIT: of course, if you get rid of all the junk you don't love that leaves you wearing the stuff you love more frequently, which is a win win

catgirl

Veteran

Whoa, I thought I was being a wuss, Mo! I know Suz and others toss with no looking back. For me 3 months takes me through enough outfit changes. But the winter season is basically 9 months. Perhaps I should wait 9 months, after which a new closet will be born?

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I think it's too individual a thing to nail down. But if I really love something, and I mean a 10 on the scale, I see no reason to toss based on frequency of wear alone. I think Angie has commented similarly. Now, for the 90% of my stuff I'm wearing day to day, yes, I want it to earn it's place. But that happiness factor is important, too. And if an item makes me beam, but I can only find a handful of times to wear it, I'm keeping it! I like to beam

Mia

Veteran

Guilt has guided my decisions on keeping little worn items for years. I have slowly become less hard on myself for mistakes and am fine if I only wear something one or two times a season if I still really love it. Overall the size of my wardrobe has remained static for awhile and I (with the help of YLF) am doing much better on CPW. I have purchased 3 items for fall so far which is way below average, Feels great.

I often do this "banishing" to see if I miss it. Works fairly well and I do it for at least a season. Not wimpy but smart imo. We all have different decision making styles so whatever works.

Adelfa

Veteran

Three months seems like too short an interval if you're tossing, so why don't you just put the bag aside for a while? This could give you the clarity you're seeking in your closet, while keeping your options open for later.

I do the "33" thing for each season and try hard to only have the 33 in my closet. This really does help my vision of my wardrobe a lot. I put out of season clothes somewhere else, and also things I'm on the fence about. Usually I find that the fence-sitters end up being purged, but sometimes I realize that I really do have a place for one of those items.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I'd go by seasons rather than by 3 months, myself, but then we get bigger temp curves here. If I chucked everything I hadn't worn in 3 months, I would have no winter gear!

shedev

Veteran

My big purge saved me from any guilt at the 52 thread, but I think I could reduce further. I used "would I buy it again?" to help decide what to toss. I did keep some so-so stuff that was useful because I was trying to get down to a specific number but I think next time I'm just going to use the question and not count until the end and see where I end up.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Another idea: make sure that you love everything you keep. Don't keep it out of fear.

Glory

Veteran

3 months - you are ironwoman!

JAileen

Veteran

I just get an urge to purge once or twice a year. When it happens I run with it because otherwise my closet will explode (figuratively) from excess. I just look at things ruthlessly and get rid of stuff. None of this, "well maybe I'll lose weight and then it'll look great on me." Or " maybe I'll find the perfect jeans for this." Out it goes. I rarely have misgivings. I have noticed that my urge will start to wane and I'll get weaker, and suddenly the urge is gone. One year I was able to purge seven large trash bags of clothes, and donated it to a charity thrift shop.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I feel like I almost continually purge on some level. Of course, part of that is because I shop frequently, and believe it or not, when something new comes into my wardrobe, I tend to review what I have in that category to see if something can go away. Usually I decide something can.

I think this continuous process has actually served me pretty well. It keeps refreshing my memory of what I own and what I've worn recently. I tend to hang onto things a little longer than I probably could, but usually that's to give them a bit more of a chance before I give up on them.

So, I don't use a timeframe so much as I do go by my instincts. I'd say that 95% of the time, it serves me well.

jayne

Veteran

I do all the methods, a 'put in a box and forget it' when I just feel there is too much, a seasonal purge at the end of the season for things that got no love, a constant low state purge here and there of I realize are not going to get any love. However, now that I am about at 45 items (including shoes) for a season, I am starting to feel, just a tinsy bit, that it isn't big enough. Huh? didn't see that coming. But I am going to keep at this level through fall and see how things feel at the end...have we any threads about that? when a person goes too low, how does she know?

Carla

Veteran

With a definitive summer and winter, and transitions (shorter) between them, I would find 3 months rather short, and go with 1 year. I like Angie's 'one in, one out', but my wardrobe still needs further curating (upgrading) before I'm there.

You've just had a major job change though, and might know at this point that some things in your closet no longer suit!

DonnaF

Veteran

I dress for the temperature more than for the season. Some years, I hardly wear shorts if at all if the summer is cool and we don't travel to hotter climes. By the same token, if the winter is mild, I don't wear my cashmere turtleneck or even my cotton ones. If I purged based on a single season's non/little wear, I would probably over purge if we're talking summer and winter since the following year's weather might be a bit different. I think I've also (finally!!!) learned not to overbuy super hot and super cold weather only items.

Deborah

Veteran

Having done a number of major purges over the past couple of years, I now purge individual items frequently.

I find I will go to my closet, say to get dressed, spot a garment, have that sense that our relationship is over and I pop it in my EBay cupboard (if its good enough for sale). I suppose its am emotional process, but I just recognise that I'm done with the garment. Removing things from the closet is this manner works for me and helps me to maintain order

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Whoa whoa whoa...I feel a need to explain myself here.:-) Because while it's true I purge regularly with no regrets, I'd never purge on the basis of not having worn something for 3 months. Because, as others said, that would just mean purging stuff that was out of season!

No...the way I purge is more like this: Big purge at the end of a season. Anything that's worse for wear, or no longer fits my style direction or lifestyle, or anything I'm just plain sick of -- out. Then, at the beginning of a season, I try on everything that I'd put away for safekeeping, decide if it still fits, still works, etc. And if it no longer works, out it goes.

And then there are the mini- in progress purges. Within a season. But those are for items that bug me (usually it's a fit issue unknown until now.) Or items I'm not wearing because I upgraded and found the perfect replacement, which I far prefer. Or, you know, the underwear gets shabby and I decide to update. That kind of thing.

I also relate to what Janet said. When I shop and buy something, I tend to reconsider all the items in that category in the closet and get rid of those that no longer seem as fab.

I don't consciously do the 33 thing for each season, but it turns out that I do include about 30-40 items per season in the closet -- not counting gear, layering Ts, footwear, scarves, belts, or outerwear coats etc. Just articles of indoor clothing. More like 30 for the shorter summer season. More like 40 or 45 for the longer winter season. This feels like a pretty good number. I always know what I've got.

Oh -- and I make my "seasons" more like six, vs. four. Obviously, there's overlap in clothing items. (So most of my jeans cross all seasons, although truthfully I almost never wear jeans in summer due to the heat). But some items are only for one or two seasons. And when I put those away, I bring out the new (seasonally appropriate) replacement.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Your clothes should not make you feel guilty. I am no one's role model in this department but I do like to put away clothes I am not sure about at the end of a season and then revisit them at the beginning of the season. Usually it is much easier to say goodbye that way.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What Shevia says is so true and that's why I do a bit of a cull both times. Because sometimes you are still feeling the love for something or think you might feel the love again next year. In my case the consignment store will only take items in season anyway, so it sort of makes sense to hold onto anything that might sell until the start of the relevant season.

deb

Veteran

I purge annually. Spring and Fall I can usually wear the same clothes so those get the old hanger turn. But the summer and winter stuff get the toss if it was not worn during those seasons. I just went through and purged all the summer stuff I did not wear this past summer.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I'm a careful purger, and a great believer in a short-term holding bin. I've found that I can go cold on an item for a whole year, and then find a way to wear it again that makes it seem like new.

I do think that your change in lifestyle is probably bringing on a significant style shift. Perhaps you will have a higher rate of "turnover" for awhile.