**1960s TV announcer's voice**
" Another peaceful day in warm, sunny Seattle at stately Cox Manor... "
" The Fab Phone rings and is answered by non other than Malfred, loyal butler and right hand man to wealthy playgirl Angie Cox... "
" Yes, sir... I'll get her right away... "
" HEY, BOSS !!! PHONE FOR YOU !!! IT'S THE FASHION COMMISSIONER !!! ", he mumoured.
**Sound of toilet flushing**
" Hold on, Malfred... I'll be right there ! "
Angie sashayed athletically down the hall and approached her loyal manservant.
Malfred hesitated with a raised eyebrow before handing her the Fab Phone.
" Umm... Please excuse me, ma'am... Did you wash your hands ? "
Angie paused and looked off into the distance.
" You know nothing sticks to me, my good fellow !! "
Malfred did a double take and turned his head to see what Angie was looking at.
" Dramatic pause, ma'am ? ", he asked.
" Damn right ! Us fashion crime fighters all do it ! ", she replied as she continued with a faraway expression as she took the phone.
" YELLO, Fashion Commissioner ! What can I do ya for !? "
" Hello, Youlookfab Woman ! It's the Cowlneck Gang again ! They've broken out of storage, Shawshank Redemption style AGAIN ! "
" When are they going to stop showing that movie in prison ? ", Angie asked.
" Prisoners' Rights groups, I'm afraid ", he answered. " ...and tonights movie is " Alcatraz ! ", for cripes sake ! "
" Yeesh, Commeesh ! ..Don't worry, we'll soon have those ugly collar thugs collared, FAB JUSTICE STYLE ! "
" I can always count of you, Maid of Class ! "
" So, your calculator still playing up, Sir ? "
Malfred rolled his eyes and groaned.
" Hey, fashion crime fighters are nothing without a good sense of humor ! ", she said with a dazzling glinty smile.
" The important word in that sentence is ' good ', Ma'am ", Malfred replied with understated sardonic wit.
" No time to lose with repartee, my loyal manservant ! ", Angie exclaimed as she opened the Coco Chanel bust and pressed the secret button within.
" There is ugly fashion afoot and by my sparkly golden boots, I won't stand for it ! "
" To the Fab Pole ! ", she said with an unnecessary athletic bound through the open elevator shaft.
" By the way, Ma'am... ", Malfred added. " You do remember I just polished the Fab Pole and it may not be quite... "
" OHHHHHhhhhhhhh, darrrnnnnn i* !!! ", the Maid of Good Taste screamed as she plummeted down the shaft before landing with a comic book **SPLAT** face down at the bottom.
" ...dry yet ", Malfred finished.
" Thanks... for... remin...ding... me, you... soon to be UNEMPLOYED Limey dust bustin' son of a sheep chaser... ", Angie said between gritted teeth.
Quickly recovering, she flipped onto her feet and bumped face first into the wall before staggering awkwardly side to side into the Fabulouso Closet and scant seconds later emerged in her fashion crime fighting costume, consisting of a former 1980s purple spandex gym outfit over a gold Banana Republic turtleneck with gold boots, gloves, '60s horn rimmed glasses/mask, cape ( that strangely fluttered in the still Fab Cave air ), utility belt... and an added Fab neck brace.
" My chiro appointment's coming out of Malfred's pay check this week, by Coco ! ", she winced as she shakenly bounded to the fabulous YoulookKILLA-mobile, which was a converted yellow 1960s Morris Mini with twin NASA rocket engines.
Youlookfab Woman started up the engines and turned on the car soundtrack, playing her theme music.
" Nannah, nannah, nannah, nannah, nannah, nannah, nannah, nannah... FAB MEEEE !!! ", she sang as the rocket engine blasted the Morris Mini straight through the unopened Fab Cave door.
" Whoops... ", she grimaced as she skidded and weaved through the debris. " Ah, well... That'll give Malfred something to do for the rest of the day. "
" Off to Fashion Commissioner Boredon's HQ !! ", she exclaimed as she drove off into the distance.
...To be continued !!!
