I apologize in advance, this post is a downer.

It's just the two of us, he is 61 and lives in the New Forest area of the UK.
He has spent his whole life being an achiever. He is very active, athletic and very smart. Always on many sports teams and played field hockey into his late 40's. After that he took up cycling and became very good, he qualified to represent Great Britain in a race in France about 4 years ago and finished high up in his age group.
He was a dentist for 10 years and then became a Doctor. For a time he had two practices before deciding to be a Dr full-time.
I live in the USA and had been bugging him to come and visit for several years instead of me always going to the UK, so it was sort of a surprise when at the end of September 2019 he told me he would like to come in two weeks. I was thrilled but the thought did cross my mind that something was weird and it all seemed rather sudden.
My instincts were correct as he came over to tell me that he has Multiple System Atrophy. I believe it used to be called Shy Drager Syndrome. The outcome is very similar to ALS, being trapped in your own body, your mind is fine. We talked a lot and it was very difficult but we made plans for him to come over for an extended visit in the summer of 2020 and we would all do his USA bucket list. He planned to come on the Queen Mary 2 which is on his list. Of course COVID hit and he has been able to do absolutely NOTHING. His symptoms have increased greatly . He can no longer walk without poles, cannot ride a bike, no longer drive, speech is affected, eating and swallowing difficult, dexterity changed and urinary issues. His time to be able to do anything is so limited and COVID has made things worse. He is now planning to come here for a week at the end of June on the QM2 a far cry from the moths long trio we had planned but at least it's something. However I am a little worried that he'll even be able to manage that the way things seem to be progressing.
I know he cries most mornings as he feels so useless. This is also a man who could cook anything, build anything and fix anything. When he was a dentist he put a whole new surgery in his house. He built kitchens, decks , fixed cars ! He was the team Dr for his sons hockey team that had a school trip to South Africa.
Sadly there is no cure for this and as it is so rare very limited study groups and no trial treatment that we are aware of. I'm horrified that communicating with him will get harder and eventually be pretty non existent . I know there is technology for talking down the road but it's not the same. It's the long slow goodbye, my brother is terrified.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and feel sad . I'm trying to smile more and think positive about life but there's a hole in my heart. I find I can't focus on anything anymore. I know many people are going through difficult seasons , this is mine.
Not sure why I decided to write all this today but it feels good to write it down and get it out.