My Evolving Style - Please assist (long). Pics added down thread. - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

My Evolving Style - Please assist (long). Pics added down thread.

Star

Veteran

Hi Everyone

Bella posted recently about looking for her style words and I was the first to give some of my perspective on her inspirational pics. I realised that I have not really been able to pin down my style words.

Some background; As a teenager my favourite females were Pat Benatar, Debbie Harry (Blondie) and Joan Jett. Clearly I was a rock chick, but I loved fashion too and it was the 80s so I was a Colourful Rock Chick :).

Here I am in my late 50s, I still like edge in my outfits so for the last number of years I have labelled myself an Edgy Classic (after doing numerous quick style quizzes). Well, I searched Edgy Classic on Pinterest and nearly all the pics either had blazers (Classic) or moto jackets (Edgy). I like both, have a few, but rarely wear them. Time to get real. The last week or so my uniform has been cargos, a Tee, and a plaid button-down (that comes on and off all day with the current weather fluctuations). Sandals, sneakers or booties are worn depending on the weather. Sometimes a cut-off denim jacket over the plaid shirt, or a hooded black anorak at night if cold. I always wear at least 2 fairly statement-ish rings, earrings and a cuff. These are not over the top pieces but not quiet pieces either. It feels very me. So I searched Tomboy Femme on Pinterest and these are images that I either do already wear or would be very at ease in.
https://www.pinterest.com/star.....emme-2024/.

I have always preferred the term 'Tomgirl' instead of 'Tomboy' but I don't think it fits well in this case with the 'Femme'. I am not comfortable in an overly masculine outfit. My long curly/wavy copper blonde hair is a strong feminine element itself. I believe it strikes a balance.

What I would love to know is what you wonderfully stylish people see in these pics and if you have any other words or analysis that can help me pin this down even further.

PS: I don't wear cropped tops or ripped jeans ever even though there may be some in the inspo pics. The colours seem right. Neutrals, earthy and a touch of colour. Summer is another story.

Thank you if you have the time for this.

Dressing

28 replies

Latest reply was from Jenni NZ

Liz

Veteran

Most of the outfits shown are dark neutral colors, oversized or baggy, and rougher fabrics (flannel, thicker knits, distressed denim). Yet I have the perception that you also enjoy prints and patterns, finer fabrics, and fitted clothing. (My perception might be wrong!) I wonder if there's a "glam" element to your style that the linked pinterest board doesn't quite capture?

Star

Veteran

Liz Thank you. You are absolutely right. I don't like patterns and prints as much as I did before but I still like and wear them, and the same goes for colour. I like a more fluid fit than baggy or fitted. Glam is definitely something to add in the mix. Very astute :). I am going to search Glam Tomboy Femme and see what Pinterest comes up with. Thick knits and flannel for now because I am heading for a cold winter. NO distressed denim for me. A good example confirming your suggestion; today I am wearing a very soft and shiny mulberry coloured Velvet Tee with my cargos and plaid shirt :).

SarahD8

Veteran

Maybe it's just the Seattle gal in me talking, but I see a strong element of 90s grunge here (the velvet you describe in your follow-up post fits with that too, I think?). But refined, as befitting the wisdom of your age.

Grown-up tomgirl grunge?

Star

Veteran

Haha yes but didn't all 80s rock chicks become 90s grunge chicks? I definitely went through a black period in the 90s and a velvet period. Yes there is a dash of grunge now. I think it mostly comes out in some of my jewellery choices. I would prefer it as a secondary element. I do want to dress like the grown up I am (as you rightly say) :). Thanks SarahD8!

Roberta

Veteran

I think tomgirl is a very satisfying word. I could easily apply it to myself. It conveys a masc/femme esthetic that "neutral" or "androgynous" does not. I hear playful, energetic, a bit of Annie Oakley. I always thought grunge felt a bit lazy, like, "this is what was on my floor, OK?" Tomgirl is more purposeful.

Star

Veteran

Oooh I like your thoughts Roberta so thank you! Very astute regarding Tomgirl not being the same as neutral and/or androgynous. Our thinking is in synch. I think there is a similarity in our outfits too, not exactly but there are some commonalities. I know that you too were all about colour and are now favouring neutrals. This happened to me a couple of years ago as well. I still enjoy a dash of colour but now feel very at ease in neutrals. I sure have been known to have an Annie Oakley side :). I like the words energetic and playful as I am also tending towards more sporty pieces lately (which is completely new for me) so maybe those tie together. I will keep that as a secondary style element. Btw, I had a girlfriend in the 90s whose entire wardrobe was always on the floor, shocking, I know.

Runcarla

Veteran

Maybe a bit of hipster fashion aesthetic?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

From the Pinterest board, I see some grunge and a lot of RATE (rough around the edges)

Along with Slouch, Rock, Edge, Hipster, Casual, Thrown Together, Relaxed, Utility, Skater Girl, Nonchalance, Chill, Androgyny

There is a hint of Glam, Tailoring and Pretty - but not enough to use as your style words and descriptor, IMO.

I think you enjoy a dash of refinement and polish, but they are not primary goals. More of an arty free spirit with femme touches and drama with hair and eyewear as opposed to the clothes.

Tomgirl is an excellent word to have in your style descriptor! Love that for you! Spot on.

I’m going with Mellow or Chill Tomgirl

Dee

Veteran

Riding on Runcarla’s coat tails, maybe hipster Tomgirl chic?

Star

Veteran

Carla if you have the time please elaborate as I would love to hear your thoughts. I don't do trends unless they are ones I already wear so I am now super curious :). You too Dee.

Star

Veteran

Angie You are so clever. I really value your input so thank you for taking the time to respond. I have always been a bit RATE. I cannot get away from it even if I try. But yes my RATE does come with some polish and pretty for sure. Sometimes I ask my DH if I look too masculine in a particular outfit and he has never said I do. He says I cannot. For some reference my DH is a long haired rock guitarist (Only fur kids.) I think now is the time just to embrace my inner Tomgirl as the main feature and play around with sub-styles like sporty or drama or boho-lite (sometimes in summer). Phew, what a relief :). And to FORGET ABOUT CLASSIC.

Dee

Veteran

The term hipster these days would conjure up notions of being a little non-conformist, indie style. Mix in thrift store fashion with some flannel and a bit of statement jewelry pieces to create some Tomgirl refinement.

Star

Veteran

Oh I am a hipster (I didn't know) hahaha. I meet all your mentioned requirements. Thanks Dee, you made my evening.

Star

Veteran

Current outfit for reference.

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think "Tomgirl" is a great word because it encompasses the boyish element and the feminine twist, or looking at it another way, gives a new definition to "girl" -- a girl can be casual and ready for action, too!

My word "garçonne" is like the Frenchified, more urban version of Tomgirl. I have added the modifier "laid-back" because in actual fact, my lifestyle often demands outfits as casual in purpose as yours. Anyway, I like that it encompasses both a masculine element (in your case, that appears as a bit of edge; in mine, maybe as masculine tailoring) along with the option to express some femininity.

I like Dee's idea of hipster, too.

So the bit of refinement in today's outfit comes from the shape of the bootie -- a little more feminine. And I agree wholeheartedly that your hair adds a dash of femininity to every look.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I can relate to quite a bit of this. I do think you also seem to want a little more color and glam in your outfits to be considered fully “grunge” even though that’s a big theme in your board. I add “sophisticated” or “refined” to my rock/indie/RATE inclinations, which is a helpful modifier for me to keep me feeling polished and like I’m not wearing a costume.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

All of SarahD8, Dee, Angie, Suz and Janet have mentioned the words “refined” or “refinement” in their replies. I think you need to incorporate that thought somewhere. Is that perhaps what you thought of as classic in your style before?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Star, fun that you used the word "clever"! People in the US use the word "smart" instead of clever - which to me means "dressy". Like your outfit is smart. You get it

Not that I'm all that clever - but enjoyed you using a word that is very familiar to me!

Back to you: PLEASE embrace your RATENESS and inner Tomgirl. The more authentic your style - the more confident you feel, and the easier it is to manage and maintain your style.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I also agree with JenniNZ. You might be mixing up Classic with Refinement and Polish. While motos and Docs have a harder edge - they are also classics.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I have enjoyed reading this thread a lot. Tomgirl seems to a winning descriptor, and I see a strong undercurrent of rock girl as well. The mix of pretty hair, statement jewelry and flannels is making me think of Kate Moss.

Sal

Veteran

I think you are there. You can take the core of Tomgirl Femme and tweak as you wish - sometimes more polished, sometimes more sporty and sometimes more glam rock. I think it works for you and what I see of your outfits. And the most important thing is that it resonates.

Lisa

Veteran

Having not read through the comments (because I don't want to get influenced) I see casual, tomboy, and a bit of grunge. I see few patterns and few colors. Lots of neutrals and slouchy and oversized silhouettes. Today's outfit had classics (plaid shirt, cargos) styled in a sporty, relaxed, chill vibe. I'd wear your outfit!

I find it very helpful to nail down one's style words to help stay focused when shopping, closet editing, etc. It's time consuming to figure out but so worth it!

Star

Veteran

More Grownup Tomgirl today for my walk by the sea.
Thanks for all your comments and I will reply in detail later. You guys are SO smart.

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Star

Veteran

Suz you are so right about my choice of boots. I do have blue combat boots that for colour matching would do better but then it would be too many masculine elements for my liking.

Janet spot on! I do not perceive myself as full on grungy, never have. I do want a bit of glam and pretty, sometimes in the way of colour. I think Angie is right (as always) that it is not that much that it needs to be in my style descriptor. I think it pops out naturally when I decide what to wear. An example being today's simple outfit for my morning walk by the sea. My sandals are very feminine.

Yes clever JenniNZ it seems I am mixing up classic with refined! You probably also use the word 'clever' instead of 'smart' in this context in NZ, am I right? @Angie regarding mixing up classic and refined, silly me, now I know! You know in my early days on the forum I mentioned tough girl boots and someone commented do we really want to look like tough girls at this point in our life and kind of got me on the (what I thought was) classic track. But yes, I actually cannot get rid of my RATE style even if I want to, it nearly always pops out.

Will be back with more replies and discussion a bit later.

Star

Veteran

Thanks Jaime! Zaeobi once commented that one of my outfits looked a bit "Kate Moss" but with more personality. I like that!

Exactly Sal! I think I am there. I am not going to add other words to Tomgirl right now.

Lisa your comment was also spot on. It is really important because I thrift most of my clothes and it can be totally overwhelming having so many different styles at reasonable prices in one store. I purchased way too many clothes when I first moved here and discovered the amazing thrift stores. Then I found YLF I realised just because I like an item it does not mean I will definitely like wearing it, or it will definitely look good on me, or will go with my other clothes, etc, etc. Ha - sounds so obvious when you type it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Re "clever" and "smart" -- in Canada we are so mixed up. We use "smart" both ways, i.e. to describe someone who is clever and to describe a pulled together outfit! And clever means smart!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Star, continue using the word "clever"! And embrace what is authentic for your style.

Suz, interesting!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Ha yes Star we do use the word clever the same way as you. We use smart to
mean clever also though, perhaps less often.