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My bag-related epiphany... Do you buy or purge first?

catgirl

Veteran

The arrival of the Brahmin bag and my irrational love for it has allowed me to move on to purge several bags in my closet that are getting no use, but have been hoarded for one reason or another. One is a retired hot pink Coach bag that is SO not me, but yet I can't let it go. There are a couple more that are also going to consignment. Same with boots - the Gidigios somehow freed up three pairs of boots I'd been hanging onto for no reason.

So what I've realized is that not only am I a bit of a hoarder, but I also can't and won't let go of items - not just worn-out pieces that need replacing, but orphaned items I KNOW I don't use - until I find something that outshines them so obviously that they become irrelevant. Now that've I've recognized it, I'm hoping to change it. For one thing, I could use the extra money from consigning my fab orphans.

So which are you - a purge then add, or an add then purge? I'd like to be able to purge first, but it just goes against my nature.

(Suz, I know what your answer will be!)

General

22 replies

Latest reply was from Jjsloane

Anonymous

I'm more of a add then purge so I'm not without. I wish I were more the other way

Caro in Oz

Veteran

It depends for me - if it's something I don't wear or use AND don't like then purge. If it's something I like, don't have a lot of, but I know I want better (or slightly different) I may keep it until I find the one.

Marley

Veteran

Una - I've pretty much had the same epiphany since "the bag" arrived at my house too! I am sooooo totally in love with it - that I am eyeing a black and white Kate Spade that really never was my style and I very seldom carried, as well as a brown (brown?) Kooba, and a pink Coach. I've put them in my consignment box and will be taking them to the store next week - no regrets! (I've held onto them for a good 5 years - just, because . . . ?)
So - I fall into the add, then purge category. It feels great to be able to let go of those handbags - and its really hit me hard how much I can like something, when I really like it! I need to make that my standard - rather than the exception.

catgirl

Veteran

Marley, you have a pink Coach too?! LOL! Yes, we need to remember that feeling and how one PERFECT item can be as good or better than ten items that you love 1/10 as much.

Diana

Veteran

Add, then purge. I'm a hoarder too, plus sometimes it takes me months or even years to find the replacement.
Eta: unless it's something that I literally can't use any more, like its too small to zip or has unfixable holes.

Adelfa

Veteran

With more expensive items, I'm definitely in your camp. After I got my AGL flats, I was able to see that all but one pair of my ballet flats collection didn't meet my standards and I was happily able to pass them on.

With less expensive items, sometimes I purge away and create holes. It gives me clarity.

Now, if someone wanted my green suede Nanette Lepore bag so I could just get rid of it....

Mia

Veteran

Hand up here for keeping until I replace and even longer if it was expensive.

I have a pink bag too. DH and DS picked it out for Mother's Day many years ago and it was super pricey. I use it a few times a year. Sigh..

rae

(website)

Veteran

Oh, wow, I am glad to know I am in good company! This is kind of the first year this has truly happened for me -the TR boyfriend jeans, the Brahmin bag, and my green army jacket all incited purges. I'm looking at my other options like, "why would I reach for that now that I have this??"

I don't think I hold onto things I'm really not using, but I definitely keep using things I'm not over the moon thrilled with... and in these cases, like Marley, I didn't know how MUCH I could love a single pair of jeans or a jacket or a bag, so I didn't even realize I wasn't thrilled with the other ones. Does that make any sense?? lol Like, maybe I end up with 10 ok things because I'm unconsciously still searching for the 1.

Definite food for thought here; thanks for bringing it up!

Marlene

Veteran

I buy then purge. But I do keep a mental list of what is on the chopping block and then when the replacement comes in, out the other one goes. I'm not sure why I do it this way since I don't bother with an item if I have already soured on it. But that's what I do. Unless I am heading to the consignment store to drop stuff off...then I will go ahead and grab the chopping block items if it makes sense seasonally.

Glory

Veteran

Hello my name is Glory and I am a hoarder

unfrumped

Veteran

Good thoughts.

I do both. If I make myself keep trying on the things I'm not wearing, at some point they'll separate out into fit issues vs. whether they're just not fave's, or not modern.

If I can make myself see the fit issue, I can toss. I recently did that with some AT jackets and other items. Meaning, not length or lapels or what have you, that comes and goes and can still be figure-flattering even if not trending, but shoulders and armholes and sleeve kind of things. So purging those created a lot of jacket space, either to find new ones or to realize I don't need so many after all.

The the issue of buying things even though one has a full closet remains an issue. Putting aside the potential problem of mindless shopping, some of it is just that style evolves and the updated items push others aside. So if I can do the "I'll never wear that now that I have this" comparison, then the new item creates the push needed to let go of the old. Also I can see problematic color palette choices that create orphans. But in this category I allow myself some of the holding zone approach--for items that are good fit, nice fabrics--in case I over-reacted, or they remix with something updated, or a color comes back "in" and is more available. Fabrication is my weakness, since I don't find some of them easily replaceable year to year.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I am in a constant purge mode so I guess I purge, and purge, and purge more - and then feel justified to add!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I also do both, like Unfrumped. But mostly a fit or quality issue will encourage purging more than getting a newer, better item pushing out older, less desirable choices will.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I buy then purge. Or sometimes I buy and still don't purge. I just removed a white shirt that has never been worn from my closet where it hung proudly for no less than 5 years. It never felt great. AND I bought a replacement - but you know what, IT didn't feel great either. So what did I do? Kept both of course!
Yikes. Next white shirt will likely be a BB shirt. But I'm waiting at this point because maybe a "perfect" white shirt is not in my real life needs list. I just felt like it was "supposed" to be.

I also hold onto handbags. I have a few that are just "cute" and I display them in my office on a bookshelf. I figure if they make me happy to see they must be more "art" than function.

shedev

Veteran

I buy then purge, or sometimes then not purge. I also have the pink coach purse I never carry. It is much easier for me to let go of stuff if I have an option I really love. I want to reduce the size of my wardrobe a bit so now I have to get rid of some stuff without buying something else. I've been using the flylady method and just letting go of a few things at a time.

nancylee

Veteran

With bags I usually buy then purge for two reasons: 1) I tend to fall in love with bags and buy out of love not practicality, and 2) I don't like the idea of getting rid of a good bag unless I know I have something as good or better to take its place.

I totally know what you mean about the new bag suddenly making the old bags look outdated and unfab. It's like when you remodel a room in your house and then every adjoining room looks shabby in comparison!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Haha -- BUSTED!!

But actually, you know what? Even though I'm a purgaholic, with certain items, I do hoard!!

If it is something I need, and only have one of, for instance -- even if I don't really like it. And will NEVER WEAR IT.

I have a dress like this. It is a lovely, very pretty but so not me silk dress from Comrags that a friend persuaded me to buy to go to an imaginary wedding. It's totally her style, not mine. Not that I recognized that at the time. The flutter sleeves, the V neck, the lilac floral print -- all my friend.

The event has never arrived and yet I have not purged that dress! Why? Well, it takes up only a fraction of an inch in my closet or drawer, it is so diaphanous. But also....I don't have a replacement item to wear to this imaginary summer wedding or garden party.

DUH!!! When am I going to get it through my noggin that the event will never take place?

Meanwhile I may need to examine this hot pink Coach bag of yours.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I do both. If it is a style I am growing out of, I purge first. Example is colored skinnies which I purged last winter, however one pair came back because I missed a stain on them, and I now wear them again. If it is something I have identified as a need (a lightweight, light colored leather jacket), I might hold on to it until I find the better one. I am currently searching for one during the summer sales, but I may have to wait until next Spring.

But all in all, I do more hoarding than purging.

And remember folks, it's not an "addiction" unless your life is unmanageable!(My rationale for hoarding.)

LoveSarahDub

(website)

I love this topic, especially on the subject of bags! I am definitely in the "add, then MAYBE purge" category. I have a few bags that I'm head over heels for, regardless of any new purchases that come along. But then there are some that my slightly younger self thought were the BOMB and now I never, EVER see myself seriously using (hello there, Juicy Couture black/tan 'peace' bag..) Yet I can't bring myself to just let them go completely, because in times that seem completely overrun by my husband and son, atleast I have these handbags that, at some point anyway, made me feel like a million bucks.

That being said, atleast I've been rid of my wristlets that I even knew were too small to be functional when I was in my "everything has to have a label" phase. Thank goodness I've grown up a bit, even though I'm still only 25

Anonymous

I'm on both teams, purge first and purge again after buying! I totally get what you're saying about bringing home something new that you LOVE and then casting a poison eye on the rest of your collection.

Von

Veteran

I'm totally a bag hoarder, and the idea of "just in case" keeps me from letting go of bags I KNOW I haven't used in 2 or 3 years. I have bags I use once a year, I have bags that I'm determined to make work as well. I have a nice leather bag from my mom. It's totally me, but I swear, that bag KILLS my shoulder every time I carry it with more than my wallet in it. It's just really heavy. Will I get rid of it? No, because one day, I'm going to wish I had a red bag!

But, I for sure know that I have others that I really need to let go, whether I think I'm going to miss them or not because I have very few in my true "love these" rotation.

Jjsloane

Veteran

Add. Add. Add. What is purge?
Bwahaha. Not a hoarder, but a suburbanite with oodles of storage space. Purging is therapeutic for some. Traumatic for me. I purge if I am unhappy of the item for me.