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Musings Over Hair And Style

krishnidoux

Veteran

Hi all!

I have been growing out my pixie cut since June. Pic one is how short it was.
I enjoyed it a lot at that length and it allowed me to explore lots of fashionable looks. But after 2 yrs I felt it was time for change.

It is now at the awkward stage - it's been there since forever it seems. I am really disciplining myself not to run to the hairstylist's chair. I've had the back trimmed a couple of times just so that it wouldn't evolve into a mullet.

To say it is now awkward is an understatement. To give you an idea, it looks very much like a blend of pics 2-5, except the bangs are shorter even than in the photos. That is due to the short top spikes from pic 1 that haven't reached my eyebrows yet. The growing out creates a huge disconnected layered "puff" at the top of my head that no amount of styling will tame. This shorter top layer barely reaches down to the top of ears, while the under layer covers it. As a result, the sides of are also puffy.

This "Growing-the-pixie" experiment has hampered my dressing style. At first thought it was because I was too busy, and that a bit of me-time in my wardrobe would fix it.

But now I realize it is more than this. The new shape of my head is having a major effect on how the clothes I own look on my body! I know some of you will go "duh!" but I never realized to what point this was true. Sunday I spent some time trying to put together outfits that went with this hair, and I must say, very few did... one thing that seemed to work was a slightly preppy vibe, which I am generally absolutely not. Scarves around the neck also make it a bit more bearable. Dresses and skirts, that I love wearing, are the most difficult items to wear with this head.

I have tried accessorizing it but it doesn't work either: at my age, it's easy to look frumpy or foolish. Maybe when it gets a bit longer it will do good, but now it just looks messy. I am biting the bullet for now, resigned to bad memories from the 80's every time I look in the mirror.

Has anyone gone through this? Any suggestions?

Thanks so much!

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Dressing

28 replies

Latest reply was from Gigi

Astrid

Veteran

Uh, yes. I have not so fond memories of the last time I grew my pixie out. Had just the look you are describing, only with added waves that made it even worse. It only got better when they reached the cropped bob stage. I have no suggestions unfortunately, but lots of sympathy. Have you decided which style you want when they're grown out?

krishnidoux

Veteran

Thanks Astrid. I am thinking of a blunt, slightly angled blob (long bob), no bangs. I calculate it will take me three years to get there. If less, I will be happily surprised.

How long did it take you to move from the above described stage to a cropped bob?

rute

Veteran

ah ah so funny, I'm on a similar stage, but mine is curly! Maibe your hairdresser can give you some style tips without having to cut

Astrid

Veteran

Sounds good! It took me about a year, but my hair grows fast and I did as little trimming as possible.

bella

(website)

Veteran

I don't want to laugh at your troubles but your post definitely made me chuckle. I've had some funny hairstyles as well, and it was in the 90s, so I have no excuse.
My suggestion is rather than avoiding the hairstylist perhaps ask the help of one. A good, capable hairstylist can style your hair while you're growing it out in a way that will minimize the problems. It may take longer to grow your hair (she may have to cut here and there) but you will be happier in the end.

E

Veteran

Oh I hate the awkward pixie growing out stage! I got lucky this time around: I'd had a pixie that was longer in front, so the awkwardness did not include weird bang lengths. I coped with frequent trims of the back hairline to avoid the mullet look, leaving the rest alone so I kept the length it was growing at, mousse to add texture and a bit of lift (I put it in while wet, let my hair air dry, then mussed it), and strategic bobby pinning around my face. I started growing it out in March & got past the worst stage by August. By October I was pretty much where I wanted to be (a blunt bob with no layers), but it wasn't as short as yours to start. I've attached awkward webcam pics for visuals. I also grew out a pixie cut in 2007, that was almost as short as yours, and it definitely didn't take me 3 years to get to bob length!

I think my best advice is to cut yourself some slack. It probably doesn't look nearly as bad to everyone else as it does to you! And if skirts and dresses make you happiest, wear them: I'm sure your different head shape still looks good with them.

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amiable

Veteran

I'm there too! I'm just a few steps beyond you - now my hair is in my eyes all the time. It drives me nuts. I'm hoping that I can make it just another few months, then it'll be long enough to stay off my face. Maybe.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I went with the mullet. Seriously...I got a "shag" type haircut. I just left lots of layers in the cut. In previous attempts I had always cut the back off to make it more bob-shaped and tried to "even things up", but I realized this was no-win with my head/ face shape and low hairline on my neck, so I let it be a bit messy. It actually worked better than I expected and the awkwardness did not feel as long-lasting or pronounced. Of course I did get bits trimmed all the way (including the back) but I did not try to "grow the layers" if you see what I'm saying. Then again, I wasn't aiming for a strict bob as my end result -- I knew I wanted a cut with some layering even when it was long. Because my hair is so thick.

As for needing different outfits for a different head shape, I couldn't agree more. I now understand that it's part of my problem when I had long hair --I had been so used to short hair that I didn't know how to dress for longer hair! Then, when I finally got sort of used to that -- I cut my hair again and everything changed. So strange. It completely changes the proportions, is why.

BlondeAmbition

Have you thought about a slick back look? I absolutely love how it looks with a short do. It's very fierce!
http://brokeandchic.com/wp-con.....40x679.jpg

http://www.hairfinder.com/cele.....k-hair.jpg

http://www.short-hair-style.co.....d_back.jpg

http://www.jacksonvillebeachha.....ed-back-sh

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Aaaaahhhhhh yes...the growing out of the pixie cut. This is why I just keep mine short - I have no patience for it.

Tricia

Veteran

Oh God, yes. I was just starting to grow out a pixie when I first came to YLF and it was TERRIBLE. It seemed to take forever. And I have no patience, so I really had to fight the urge to go to the stylist to try to "fix" it. The only way out is through!

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I wish I had something encouraging to say about growing out a haircut, but my last short haircut was in the 80's, and I'm pretty sure it resembled #4... (and I had those Sally Jessy Raphael-esque eyeglasses, too...)

I think the girls are onto something with the slicked-back hair. It's unusual and it always looks too cool for school, in a refined rockstar way. I am a big fan of Wolford, and I love the model's slicked-back hair in their Lookbook this season.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

As one who finally grew her pixie out, let me tell ya it was hard. It eventually grew out to the length I wanted which was a short angled bob with some layers to give it some body. Anyway, keep the back trimmed while growing out the front if that's what you're looking for. Good luck!!

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

When I grew out mine back in 2010, I bought a 3/4 wig (see pictures). I am generally willing to spend roughly a minute on the hair routine so the wig worked well. It got some comments the first day, as in "wasn't your hair short just yesterday?", but people got used to it quickly. Patients and their families always wanted to know who cut my hair. Ha!

The nice things about it were:

it always looked done (in 20 seconds flat),
it always looked the same (never a bad hair day),
it didn't require the head-sock (like regular wigs),
it felt comfortable and secure,
it showed my own hair in the front under the headband so people never realized it wasn't my own hair unless I told them.

I wore the wig until my own hair was long enough for a reasonable bob. My hairdresser trimmed the back during the grow-out to keep it off my neck.

As it turned out, I'm really not a long-hair person so I'm back to the pixie. (May I never forget what a PITA it was with the long hair so I never try that again.)

Hope this helps.

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Gracie

Veteran

No advice on styling while growing it out but, may I say, you have a beautiful head shape? : )

Anonymous

You have my sympathies; growing out a pixie is no fun at all and to some extent you have to accept that you won't have great hair days for many, many months. I don't think your hair looks as bad as you imagine, though. If you're unhappy with the puffiness, I'm wondering if some strategic twisting and bobby-pinning some of the layers above the eyebrows or side layers would help. Might get them out of your eyes and help de-poof everything. If it makes you feel any better, I have very fine, straight hair and would've loved to have some natural volume to add some style during the growing out stage!

minimalist

Veteran

No help here, just sympathy. And what Suz said.

rachylou

Veteran

Well, more sympathy here. I'm growing out my super short asymmetric bob... and I cannot tell you how hard it is to grow out your hair when one side is shorter than the other. My hair is a complete disaster. It doesn't help that I'm aiming for super long. I'm at the pathetically desperate point where I just twist it up and clip it with a comb clip. Put me in Juicy Couture and we're talking bad '90s flashbacks.

Scarlet

Veteran

Yes, I have been there. The worst part was over within a year and then I had a rather nice bob. Grit your teeth. If it seems terrible now, I bet you are on the cusp of having more hair to work with. At the time I was too unaware to notice anything about my head shape affected dressing. Probably mercifully unaware. Too bad I don't have a single picture anymore to remind me how it was.

MuseumGal

Veteran

Growing out a pixie is when I started wearing a lot of headbands and then scarves (as headbands). It took a good year to get from pixie to bob and then another to get from bob to below shoulders.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

What rae said. I really think regular trims are important - it is worth sacrificing a little length to keep a good shape imo.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Thanks all for your wonderful collective commiseration at my hair woes. They will grow out like the rest, I guess... Scarlet might be onto something: when you agonize over it the most must be when you're just about to have it change shape. Every milestone like this seems to be preceded by a particularly bad string of bad hair days. Then poof! It looks different (usually better).

Alexandra, good for you to have worn a partial wig. Didn't it get itchy though? That would be my main concern.

Rachylou, this strategy is what I had used when growing out a pixie in the early 2000. I'd twist and pin the "mullet" part.

Stacey, I experimented with you trick earlier today. I think that in my case, given the thickness of the disconnected mass on top of my head, I better leave it alone for now. When I pin a little it immediately looks like I've pinned my whole head of hair into one pin. But in a month from now it might work.

Blonde, yours is a good idea. Thank you for the inspiring pics. For the moment, even slick back is not working, again because of the nuclear mushroom of hair explosion happening on top of my scalp. It's too thick, too short. It won't stay put, and comes back to the front with a vengeance, only now its strands flatten like a straw broom that won't even hide my eyebrows. But I will keep trying!

Bella, I'm glad I made you laugh. I will see my stylist on Dec. 6.

Anonymous

I'm growing out short hair too. it is painful and I feel very frumpy. one thing that is helping is going for cuts more frequently. the stylist takes off less but it kind of tidies it up so I don't feel totally blah

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

Krishnidoux, no, it didn't get itchy at all. I think it might be because it's essentially a comfortable elastic headband that happens to have hair attached. It was the perfect solution for me - put it on in the morning, smooth, and forget. Seriously, the easiest way to grow out a pixie ever.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Alexandra I'm very tempted! Where did you get it?

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

I got it at a wig store - a specialty store that caters mainly to women undergoing chemo. The sales associate was very helpful and let me try on quite a few styles. There may be a similar store near you - worth a try.

cathyluo

Member

I find a wig store which sells both women and mens short hair wigs.i bought a long blonde hair wig with the help of the owner of the shop,it looks beautiful.

Gigi

Veteran

This is why I don't want to get a pixie cut, despite the fact that I would look good in one. When you want to change your hairstyle, it takes a very long time!

I agree that a good hairstylist can cut your hair in such a way that it will be easier to style while it's growing out. Whenever I've grown out a haircut, I've always done this, and I could tell a big difference in how my hair looked after each haircut.

Alexandra's post about wigs made me wonder about hair extensions. I've never had them. I wonder if that would help?