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Moving, and downsizing a wardrobe. Where to start?

Anonymous

My husband and I have decided to put our house up for sale in the spring/early summer, with the intent to be in a rented condo or apartment by mid-summer. It's always been the " 5 year plan ", but we've moved it up for a number of reasons, and now I'm alternately sick to my stomach ...and kind of excited!

We've lived in this house for 25 years, and have been lucky enough to have a roomy house with lots of storage : 3 of us spread our stuff out between closets in 4 bedrooms, a basement cedar closet, and 2 long rolling racks which live in the laundry room and hold out of season stuff. It's why I've not been great at keeping a tight wardrobe, and obviously, this has come to an end. My biggest challenge, and the one I am most worried about is outerwear and footwear. I have a lot of both - too much - and have no idea how and where to start seriously culling a collection of coats and jackets (and of course all of my other clothing, as I know closet space will be at a premium. To say I'm overwhelmed is an understatement. Dealing with my furniture and home decor stuff is another challenge, but that's not for this forum.

So - who has gone through this stage in life and managed a major downsizing of a wardrobe?? Where do I start? How do I edit? Is wine allowed?? How will I function with no basement in which to store things? Yes, the problems of the privileged , I know, and believe me, so much will be given away that I hope mitigates this middle-class fussing.

General

53 replies

Latest reply was from shiny

Toban

Veteran

What a big challenge! No doubt YLF can help. I did a really big downsize a decade ago for an overseas move and it hurt at the time.

Some issues can be solved with effective storage of your seasonal clothes, such as under beds. Plus good closet design can do wonders.

A couple questions to ask yourself are:
-did I wear it last year?. If no, purge
-does another item I love fill this same role?

cindysmith

Veteran

I went through something similar when we moved into an RV in June of 2010. I put all my winter things in underbed storage and when seasonal changeover time came around I decided that was such a hassle that I was minimizing my wardrobe. What's funny is I had culled like crazy before we made the move; I gave away 60 (sixty) pairs of shoes in one whack plus a bunch of clothes. I started looking at all the clothes and shoes and i went nuclear and loaded my Honda Accord with an obscene amount of clothes, shoes, and accessories and i drove from Uncertain Texas to Baton Rouge Louisiana and i gave it all to my 12-step sponsor's sponsor because she wore the same sizes as me. I told her to do whatever she wanted with it, but she had to take it all out of my car and none of it could go back in my car. I'm pretty sure that she took what she wanted and passed the rest to someone else with the same condition: do what you want with it but you gotta take it all. I'm sure the last person in that chain donated whatever was left to a womens shelter or halfway house.

Anonymous

I went through this a couple of years ago, a five bedroom house down to two. For the wardrobe I took out all the items of a similar type...like black pants. I set a goal of cutting back by a third and doing more later. Try everything on and get the rejects out of the house ASAP. I hardly miss anything I did not move. Dishes and house hold items were harder. DH has a much smaller wardrobe and our sons had been gone for years except for an occasional visit. Good luck with this adventure.

Classically Casual

Veteran

I recall Gaylene writing a number of posts when she made a similar move.
I also recall she had very explicit criteria for what clothing got to make the move with her. Good luck, this would terrify me, though I know I ‘ll need to face some version of it too. I hope you’ll let us peek over your shoulder a little.

Chris987

Veteran

Very good friends of mine did exactly what you are planning and ended up renting a storage unit for some of their stuff ( mostly not clothing I believe) when they moved into a very small city apartment from a house in the suburbs. They have some sort of inventory system for remembering what is in storage. Of course this is delaying the decisions but it might make sense for you as part of an overall plan.

Chris987

Veteran

...and yes wine is absolutely permitted! Don’t pare down that collection until later

Sal

Veteran

Exciting times!! Yes I remember Gaylene, Carla and Joy moving on the forum and some of the discussion around this.

No special advice - we have been in our home for 12 years and I know there is some clutter..... for me in our office, garage and old toys/books.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

Oh Lisa, we can do this together. We’re selling our house of twenty years around the same time, and will likely be downsizing out of necessity with the real estate market where we’re going. It is overwhelming.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

SOOO EXCITING. I wish I could hop over and edit with you. I'm giddy...

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Yes to the wine. Throw in dessert too. Can you get a friend to help?

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Wine is not just allowed it is required! Haven't faced this yet, but when I overrun my space, particularly with shoes, I sometimes do face offs. As in, by category, take out two pairs and pick only one to keep and put the loser in a bag, then face the winner off with the next pair and so on until you have the right number. As I mentioned, this is a drinking game .

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You start by:

passing on anything that does not fit
passing on things you no longer like
attacking your large jewellery collection

SarahD8

Veteran

So exciting!!!!
I can't add to the good advice you've already received but I will be cheering you on.
I love the "face off" idea.
Wine? I would be reaching for the whiskey!!!

Anonymous

Keep my large jewellery collection out of this And everything I have now fits - that’s the issue . And I LIKE my coats ! They are part of my look . But I probably have to work with a regular coat closet that will be shared with 2 other people . And wine and dessert don’t mix, Angie my dear .....but please come and help me You can have the dessert and I’ll drink the wine .

rachylou

Veteran

Ohmigosh. When I moved from the suburbs back to town, my square footage was cut in half. I started packing three months before I started looking for a place because I’m so slow. I totally cheated by filling up my mother’s basement with clothes and books.

I will say all that pre-boxing did help me decide what to get rid of... things I wanted, I went digging for. After that, the rest could go.

ETA: My cookware is still a problem and living in my mother’s basement. It’s all very nice and my father gave me a fortune in pots and pans over the years. I basically run a raid every so often...

Anonymous

Jenn - yes , I thought of you . When do we start the process ? Now ? Or wait until spring when I can look at it winter coats with a dispassionate eye ?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Exciting news!!

Here's a thought about the coats. STORAGE ROOM. Almost all condos will have this. I'm not sure about apartments, but some might. You get a few garment bags and keep one of those racks and voila. Most condos also have sizeable closets of some kind -- you may find the space is actually more usable than what you have! The ROOMS might be smaller (or fewer) and the floorspace less, but more of it will be actual living/ storing space vs. stairways etc.

I would wait until spring to weed out the coats. You'll know what you actually wore by then.

For the other stuff -- you've already had good advice and you've already done good work, getting rid of things that no longer fit or make you happy.

In my Kingston house (with almost no shoe storage) I keep out of season footwear in an under the bed storage box.

In your climate, I feel that in your climate, you fully DESERVE a lot of coats and boots. Weed out what you no longer love, but find ways to keep as much as you reasonably can. It is part of your look and necessary to your sanity.

elpgal

Veteran

Do you really absolutely need to downsize? When we had to do something similar (added a newborn and my mom who lived with us for 5-6 months), we rented a enclosed garage that used all of our extra stuff.

elpgal

Veteran

Ha! Suz and I are on the same track!

anne

Veteran

You have my sympathy, but no real advice here, as I've not done it! All the best. Suz does sound very sensible!

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I’d start in my mind’s eye. Figure out how many of what type of outfits for each part of your life will satisfy your need for variety. Take into account how often you will do laundry. Will you need double that because after a year you will be sick of your clothes and want to rest them? How soon will X wear out? You don’t want to rebuy clothing you just let go off because they wore out.

I also like the idea I learned here of looking at a category and picking your top of that item. Top 7 of 14 pairs of black pants, etc. Top 3 wedding outfits, etc.

And off topic can be used for questions about the rest of your items.

Good luck and start soon.

Carla

Veteran

When my mother 'downsized' from a 3 story Victorian to a 3 bedroom condo, she got better closets in the condo than the house! She got a big storage locker, too. The same happened when we moved to our current home 4 years ago. I don't have quite as much 'deep storage', but what storage I have is much better organized for activities of daily living, including much better clothes closets! My mantra was to keep only the very best and things I really loved.

You can do this, Lisa. Tackle one category at a time. Start with a hard sort of your seasonal decor over the holidays and pare it down to the very best. Work on categories that are less emotional, or one room at a time. Bathroom, linen closet, and kitchen might be easier to start, then tackle tools, sports equipment, gardening gear. Save books, collections, art, pictures, CLOTHES, for when you're closer to your move goal and have the emotional energy.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Right...given modern apartment storage -- clothes are the least of your issues!!

We didn't move permanently (i.e. we didn't move our furniture and things) but we still cleared out our house and got rid of junk for the benefit of our tenants. We left every closet empty and plenty of bookshelf and cupboard space for them. It was substantial work, but honestly, not as bad as I had feared.

Books were a lot less difficult than I had anticipated. Furniture we left in place. Dishes and kitchen items -- we donated some, stored a few things in basement boxes, took some stuff with us (INSTANT POT!!!), disposed of true junk-- and the whole process was less painful than I would have imagined. The hard part was going through all family photos, documents, etc, in preparation. This took the most time. Sorting papers. Re-reading stuff.

Gretchen

Veteran

If the plan is to list in Spring, move in Summer, could you start a purge now? You could argue that this is to help with staging, but you could also use this to test your overflow. Put all the coats but 3 in a box, and see what you miss over this season. Do the same with shoes, etc.

We downsized during our home remodel (a 6 month move out) and it really helped me rethink my extra clothes, duplicates, and "just in case" options.

Good luck!

Gaylene

Veteran

Lisa, you have lots of good ideas and tips here, but I do have one other thought to add to the mix.

Downsizing means different things to different people. For some, it means tackling those old storage boxes in the basement and garage, for others it means wanting to live with less, and for still others it means fashioning a totally different lifestyle. Once you figure out what you want from the exercise, moving towards your goal becomes a positive activity instead of a painful process of letting go.

Suz and Carla are right in saying that modern condos do come with a surprising amount of storage space both in your suite and outside of it. Couple that with a rented outside storage locker and you and your family can probably can keep most of your current belongings by purging the sludge and employing creative storage options.

In my case, though, I DIDN’T want to be encumbered with so much stuff both physically and psychologically. I wanted to live in a space which could breathe so I chose to take only those things which I really loved—clothes, books, dishes—the top 20% of all that I had accumulated over the years. My numbers were totally arbitrary and just a guide, but they helped me move towards my goal of not feeling I was being held hostage by my stuff. I wanted breathing room and the feeling of being surrounded only by those things which I loved enough to take care of and use often. I wanted to live with less.

One of my close friends, however, was exactly my opposite. She opted to get rid of some of the old storage boxes in her basement, but was adamant about keeping most of her things. She figured renting an outside storage locker and regularly “shopping” it to switch up her condo decor and fit her smaller closet space was the perfect solution for her.

Still another friend shocked everyone by giving away almost everything she owned. She “downsized” from a gorgeous 5000 sq.ft. home on an acreage to live in 250 sq.ft. bachelor suite in an older building BUT with a 1000 sq.ft., off-site art studio where she spends most of her waking hours pursuing her passion for ceramics.

My point is, if you have a picture of what you’d like your new life to look like after you’ve sold your current home, it makes it easier to figure out what to bring with you into your future environment. Maybe your vision requires a serious closet cull—or maybe your wardrobe will be fine with just a bit of tweaking. There are no “rules” to this downsizing.

Jane

Veteran

Like Gaylene, I think I may start by thinking in reverse - how many pieces do you think you will have space / a need for. A radical suggestion might be to buy the number of coat hangers that you might have room for and then start filtering.

Exciting times ahead and a super opportunity.

kkards

Veteran

gosh....how exciting and terrifying!

no real advice expect to echo those who said that new more contempory housing, while smaller, tends to have bigger storage areas. i've helped my parents move from a 4 bedroom home (built in the 1960) to 2 bedroom townhouse, and then my mom from that townhouse to a retirement/assisted living community...and the closets got bigger with each move....

Jessikams

(website)

Veteran

Oof, that really is a challenge but I begin many ways it will feel like a wonderful change. It’s possible that you might end up in an apartment with extra storage in public areas (basement or car park)— locked grated rooms for each residence. That would give you some overflow.

Bijou

Veteran

As someone who was regularly moved for work and put things into storage (furniture and general stuff) only to have it come out in 5 years time - my biggest advice is if you can live without it to go into storage, you can live without it forever. So much of what we got back, we were thinking "why on earth did we ever pay to store this?".... and it just delayed the problem of actually getting rid of it.

So whilst the storage solution may ease the pain of parting with items that you kind of love but don't need, remember you don't need it so it is likely to be better to let it go.

My mantra when moving is to "let it go..." and no I do not sing the Disney song, but you can if you like. Wine and cheese always helps.

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